toni177uk
Trust male - 53 years, london,East Anglia & others, United Kingdom
Blog 62
-
To all my friends.....!!!!!
Hya..just to let you all know that my Dad had a stroke recently...so with my parents ,kids,the crdit crunch..I havnt been able to keep intouch...sorry.....
Also my email has been sut down so my new email is .tonim54@yahoo.co.uk...if anyone wants to catch up on msn messinger etc......
Hope your all well..catch up soon..xxxxxxx -
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.....!!!!!!!!!!
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries or Sauce
with that.
4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks
Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The cheque stub section Of Your cheque books, Write ' For Smuggling
Diamonds'
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds
All day.
15. Have Your colleagues address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock
Bottom.
16. When The Money Comes Out The Cash Machine, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Credit Crunch, We Are Going To
have To Let One Of You Go.' -
30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say to a Naked Man
30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say to a Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22.Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23.Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25.Is that an optical illusion?
26.What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28.Does it come with an air pump?
29.So this is why you're supposed to judge people on
personality.
30.I guess this makes me the early bird
Even i though it was funny and i'm a man ha ha !!!!!
-
Finish this sentence!!!!!!!!!!
[b]Finish this sentence ..
"You and I should..... ?"
Answer and even repost if you wish..ha ha ah to see how many crazy answers you get back -
Can you read this..?
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! -
A GOOD FRIEND TEST!
A GOOD FRIEND TEST!
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps
himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird
shutting your diet dr pepper drawer' with her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook
and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after
they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friend ship is
over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you! -
Kisses & Guesture...Mean....?
WHAT EACH KISS MEANS!!!
Kiss on the Forehead: I want to be with you for the rest of my life
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I love you
WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
- Holding hands: we definatly like each other.
- Touching on the Butt: You're mine.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you. -
When it comes to ...?????
WHEN IT COMES TO SEX: Accountants do it with Double Entry. Acupuncturists do it with a small prick. Ambulance drivers come quicker. Australians do it Down Under. Bankers do it with interest. Bartenders do it on the Rocks. Chess players check their Mates. Cops do it with cuffs. DJs do it on request. Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure. Dentists do it orally
ha ha ah well i thought it was good ..Any others that should be added...? -
If.....?
If kisses were water, I will give u a sea.
If hugs were leaves, I will give u a tree.
If LIFE was a planet, I will give u a galaxy.
If friendship is life, I will give u mine.♥
I have know idea who wrote this but its cooooooooooool....!!! take care and have fun.x -
People and Balloons...!!!!!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. Steady..!!! ha ha ah. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can't get them back.
