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tomboycharm

female - 38 years


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Blog 3


  • A good woman

    A good woman is proud of herself. She respects
    herself and others. She is
    aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition
    from the person she is with,
    nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is
    quite capable of articulating
    her needs. A good woman is hopeful. She is strong
    enough to make all her
    dreams come true. She knows love, therefore, she
    gives love. She recognizes that
    her love has great value and must be reciprocated.
    If her love is taken for
    granted, it soon disappears. A good woman has a dash
    of inspiration and a dabble
    of endurance. She knows that she will, at times,
    have to inspire others to
    reach the potential God gave them. A good woman
    knows her past, understands her
    present and moves toward the future. A good woman
    knows God. She knows that with
    God the world is her playground, but without God she
    will just be played
    with. A good woman does not live in fear of the
    future because of her past.
    Instead, she understands that her life experiences
    are merely lessons, meant to
    bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional
    self love.

  • Matt Edwards

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPeV1iK41Do

  • Matthew Terrence Edwards (Sauer)

    Letter for Matt


    .

    This was written by my niece, in regards to her brothers death.
    I will insert my email as well so i may forward anything onto my niece.



    tomboycharm@yahoo.com



    THANK YOU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~- ~~~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~- ~~
    my first draft of this was written around 3 am sunday the 5th of august and sent out around 4 am.... i posted it in a bulletin on myspace and it went to
    everyone on mine and on matts friends list....
    a lot of people responed to tell me how reading it had made them think about what they were doing with their lives.
    telling me how matt's story has made them choose a better path....
    they told me that because of my bulletin they will never abuse drugs again. many of the people who read it reposted it.... some took out my contact info...

    this was really hard to write and i need to know it was worth writing...
    and the things people are writing in response tell me that it was...


    here is the bulletin...
    there are bits of new information in it that i just found out.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    mom dad tiff loryn and blake... you don't want to read this...
    -love cass
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ..................................................- ...............
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ..................................................- ...............
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ..................................................- ...............
    .....................................



    RIP baby brother
    Matthew Terrence (sauer)Edwards
    born 4-11-1988 died 8-4-2007
    age 19
    cause of death ... overdose

    to anyone who needs a reason to quit abusing drugs

    hi my name is cassie sauer
    I'm 21 yrs old

    i am matt's big sister.

    i don't know if you knew my brother or not
    this message is for you and anyone you know who needs a wake up call...
    read it thoroughly, read it 2 or 3 times, make sure it sinks in.
    please forward it to anyone who might need a reality check....

    not everyone wakes up.
    not everyone will be ok.
    not everyone who says they're "ok" actually is ok
    it is not worth the risks you take when you abuse drugs.
    drugs of any kind, drug abuse is serious.
    what they said in those health classes was, is, and always will be true.
    drugs destroy lives, friendships, and families.



    saturday august the 4th i watched as so many of my brother's friends cried and said their goodbyes. it was heart breaking.
    This is matt's story,

    my brother overdosed on xanax in the early hours of friday august the 3rd.
    he fell asleep, such a deep sleep that when he started vomiting he didn't wake.
    he aspirated (breathed in) his vomit.
    he starved his brain and his body of oxygen.
    his friend heard him making a weird noise around 8am and found him choking.

    he called 911


    my brother stopped breathing and died...
    through the miracles of cpr matt's friend got his heart going again, on the way to hospital the emergency medical techs continued breathing for him and when they got there he was put on a respirator to keep his lungs going.
    my brother was in a coma
    all day friday he showed small signs of improvement, so throughout the day my family clung to the hope that he might wake and recover.
    then at around 2 am saturday the 4th my baby brother left his body and this world.
    his eyes dialated and fixed.
    his brain had swollen.


    my baby brother was brain dead.


    and even though his heart was beating and his body was alive there was no hope, all that was left of my beautiful baby brother was his body.
    we called as many people as we could,
    we got so many people who knew and loved him there so they could say their goodbyes and we had matt's young life leader and friends say a prayer for him
    and when it was time...
    around 7:40 pm

    my family gathered around him

    we held his hands we kissed them we kissed his forehead

    we told him how much we love him...

    then
    the hospital staff took out his breathing tube.
    my brothers body started suffocating,
    though his heart was still beating.
    my mother, father, sister, Matt's girlfriend , my best friend, and i watched as my brother's lips and his fingers turned blue.
    we felt his heart stop beating.
    we saw my baby brothers face lose it's warm color and his mouth hang open.

    loose and lifeless
    it was sickening
    just awful.


    and after it was done.
    after i saw the hope in my parents face crushed
    after my mother collapsed, reduced to tears and cries of
    "my baby, my baby, Matthew! NOOOO "

    we felt his body grow cold

    his hands were blue and then they went white and stiff as the blood in his body,no longer flowing, settled.

    none of us thought this would happen...
    never in a million years.

    this just doesn't happen to people.

    especially not someone we know...



    no, it couldn't happen to us


    but it did.


    and my parents only son is gone from this place.

    mine and tiffany's only brother is forever gone.

    my brother was a very special person, and i'll never get to see him ever again.

    all because matt wanted to have a little fun, bar out, or whatever.

    he gambled with his life and he lost.
    don't gamble with yours.

    ..................................................-

    I'm sure you found this somewhat hard to read....
    maybe it made you a little sad.
    maybe.
    but know this,
    In type it may be sad but....
    this was the short and sweet version of what happened to my brother and our family and his friends...
    it is nowhere near as bad as actually having to experience it...
    in type you can't feel your loved one's heart stop beating.
    you can't see the lips and fingers turn a sick shade of blue.
    in type you can't fully appreciate the devastation of losing a loved one to something as preventable as drug abuse...

    ..................................................-




    we all knew matt made some bad choices...namely...did some drugs.
    those who truely cared tried to get him to stop, tried to help him
    others did it with him, and they are as susceptable as he was.


    we later came to find out that matt was the third kid this month in denton county to die of xanax overdose....

    this is a silent epidemic

    *************
    if you care about anyone or anything in this world, you will take from this senseless tragedy the lesson that
    my brother didn't get a chance to learn...

    YOU have the OPPORTUNITY to LEARN from his mistake.
    and you can spread that newfound knowledge to others who need it.
    *************


    PLEASE
    PLEASE
    PLEASE DON'T LET MY BROTHER'S DEATH BE IN VAIN.
    please don't let this happen to you or your families or anyone you know.


    drug abuse kills....

    -Cassie


    ps... if you need to talk about anything please don't hesitate to message or email me...
    my myspace is myspace.com/cassieandra86

    my hotmail is
    cassieedwards@hotmail.com