Richard's blog

the 1st scottish christmas joke

sonofjudas — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 11:46:08 UT

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.

Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way

i wanna know

sonofjudas — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:39:44 UT

1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Favorite position:
4. Do you think I'm hot?
5. Would you have sex with me?
6. lights on or off?
7. Would you have to be drunk?
8. Would you take a shower with me?
9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?
10. Would you leave after or stay the night?
11. Do you like cuddling afterwards?
12. Condom or skin/and girls dont have to lols?
13. Do you give Oral pleasures?
14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures?
15. Have sex on the first date?
16. Would you kiss me during sex?
17. Do you think I would be good in bed?
18. Threesome?
20. How many times would you like to cum?
21. Would you use me as a booty call?
21. Can I use you as a booty call?
22. Do you like foreplay?
23. What is foreplay to you?
24. Can we take pictures of the act?
25. Would you send me dirty pictures of you?
26. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

freak in bed test (i got 55)

sonofjudas — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:40:22 UT

FREAK IN THE BED TEST! [UK EDITED VERSION]

GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND NUMBER IT FROM (1-13)

AND NO CHEATING!

SEE THE RESULTS AT THE END OF THE TEST!

WHEN YOU SEND IT ON PUT YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT BAR...

1.WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

A. LIGHT COLOR
B. CHANGE COLORS
C. DARK

2.IF YOU WERE TO MEET UP WITH THE CRUSH OF YOUR LIFE YOU WOULD...

A. SEDUCE THEM
B. JUST CHILL
C. CHILL AND THEN SEDUCE

3.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF WEATHER?

A. RAIN
B. THUNDERSTORM
C. SUNNY
D. CLOUDY

4.WHATS THE BEST TYPE OF FRUIT?

A. STRAWBERRIES
B. CHERRIES
C. GRAPES
D. PEACHES
E. KIWI

5.THE BEST PART OF THE 24 HOURS IS....

A. NIGHT
B. DAY
C. AFTERNOON

6.WHATS THE BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR?

A. AUTUMN
B. SUMMMER
C. SPRING
D. WINTER

7.HEADBOARD OR NO HEADBOARD?
a-HEADBOARD
b-NO HEADBOARD

8.WHATS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
A-LEO
B-VIRGO
C-SCORPIO
D-LIBRA
E-GEMINI
F-ARIES
G-CAPRICORN
H-CANCER
I-PISCES
J-AQUARIUS
K-TAURUS
L-SAGITARIUS

9.PICK A PLACE YOU WOULD HAVE SEX AT OUT OF THESE...
A. MINI VAN
B. ON THE ROOF TOP OF A BUILDING
C. PARK
D. AIR PLANE
E. PARENTS ROOM
F. ALL OF THE ABOVE

10.YOUR PHONE SERVICE?

A. VODAFONE
B. O2
C. T-MOBILE
D. 3 MOBILE
E. TESCO MOBILE
F. VIRGIN
G. ORANGE

11.PICK AN ANIMAL-
A. LION
B. LIZARD
C. SNAKE
D. MONKEY

12.PICK A TOPPING-

A. CHOCLATE SYRUP
B. HONEY
C. WHIP CREAM
D. NUTS

13.WHICH WAY?

A. UP
B. DOWN
C. SIDEWAYS

NOW THINK OF THE PERSON YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON OR A PERSON WHOSE ASS YOU JUST WANNA SMACK=========

***ANSWERS****
1.
A. LIGHT COLOR------ (4) POINTS
B. CHANGE COLORS- (5) POINTS
C. DARK---------------- (4) POINTS

2.
A. SEDUCE THEM--------------- (5) POINTS
B. JUST CHILL------------------- (2) POINTS
C. CHILL AND THEN SEDUCE- (4) POINTS

3.
A. RAIN--------------- (3) POINTS
B. THUNDERSTORM- (5) POINTS
C. SUNNY------------- (4) POINTS
D. CLOUDY----------- (2) POINTS

4.
A. STRAWBERRYS- (5) POINTS
B. CHERRYS-------- (4) POINTS
C. GRAPES---------- (3) POINTS
D. PEACHES-------- (4) POINTS
E. KIWI-------------- (3) POINTS

5.
A. NIGHT-------- (5) POINTS
B. DAY----------- (3) POINTS
C. AFTERNOON- (4) POINTS

6.
A. AUTUMN-------- (3) POINTS
B. SUMMMER- (4) POINTS
C. SPRING---- (2) POINTS
D. WINTER--- (5) POINTS

7.
-HEADBOARD-------- (5) POINTS
-NO HEADBOARD-- (2) POINTS

8.
LEO---------- (5) POINTS
VIRGO------- (5) POINTS
SCORPIO--- (5) POINTS
LIBRA-------- (3) POINTS
GEMINI------ (4) POINTS
ARIES-------- (3) POINTS
CAPRICORN- (3) POINTS
CANCER------ (4) POINTS
PISCES------- (5) POINTS
AQUARIUS--- (4) POINTS
TAURUS------ (5) POINTS
SAGITARIUS- (4) POINTS

9.
A. MINI VAN------------- (3) POINTS
B. ROOF OF A BUILDING---- (4) POINTS
C. PARK------------------- (2) POINTS
D. AIR PLANE-------------- (5) POINTS
E. PARENTS ROOM----------(5) POINTS
F. ALL OF THE ABOVE------ (10) POINTS

10.
A. VODAFONE------------------- (5) POINTS
B. O2--------------------------------- (4) POINTS
C. T-MOBILE----------------------- (4) POINTS
D. 3 MOBILE----------------- -------(5) POINTS
E. TESCO MOBILE-------------- (2) POINTS
F. VIRGIN-------------- --------------(3) POINTS
G. ORANGE----------------------- (5) POINTS

11.
A. LION------ (5) POINTS
B. LIZARD--- (3) POINTS
C. SNAKE--- (4) POINTS
D. MONKEY- (3) POINTS

12.
A. CHOCLATE SYRUP- (3) POINTS
B. HONEY--------------- (2) POINTS
C. WHIP CREAM------- (5) POINTS
D. NUTS----------------- (3) POINTS

13.
A. UP----------- (2) POINTS
B. DOWN------ (3) POINTS
C. SIDEWAYS- (5) POINTS

NOW ADD THE POINTS UP (FOR THE SLOW ONES)

SCORES!!!!!

25-34= PRIESTS SON/DAUGHTER. MIGHT AS WELL SAVE IT TILL MARRIAGE.

35-49= PRETTY FREAKY BUT THERES STILL A COUPLE OF TRICKS U CAN LEARN... FROM ME.

50-65= TOTAL OUTRAGEOUS FREAK! OMG! CALL ME!!!! NO SERIOUSLY START DIALING!***

NOW REPOST THIS IN THE NEXT 2 MINUTES
AND YOU WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK WITH
THE PERSON YOU THOUGHT OF!

REPOST AS:FREAK IN BED TEST, I GOT A .....

Rodrigo y Gabriela

sonofjudas — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:09:05 UT

Rodrigo y Gabriela check this guitar duo out on youtube i think their great

Lonely Island

sonofjudas — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:48:37 UT

Listen up netloggers in case u've been living under a rock there's a couple of vids u need to check out on youtube a group called lonely island check out these 2 hilarios vids jizz in my pant's and i'm on a boat check i'm out and tell me what u think.

write me a letter

sonofjudas — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 10:36:08 UT

fill in the blanks plz

Dear_
You have a_
You make me_
You should be_
You and me should_
I'd get your name tattoed on my_
You are so_
I think your_
I_ya
Love from_

Pass on to all you know and see what kinda letter's you get XX.

Hocus pocus

sonofjudas — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:56:08 UT

3 nuns in a convent, a nude ghost appears,waves his cock at them & says "hocus pocus". nuns reply "never mind the hocus, just fuckin pocus

this is a rude joke if it ofends any1 i am very sorry

I Don't care who you are. I Bet you won't give it to me.

sonofjudas — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:02:37 UT

Modify I Don't care who you are. I Bet you won't give it to me.

Name:___________________
Number:___________________
Best time to call:__________________