pepsimsu
male - 26 years, East Lansing, United States
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Blog messages with the tag 'Wise':
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Shopping at Primer Outlet in Birch Run
Birch Run的大名早就听说了。查过wiki后得知- 它是密北一靠近Flint的城市，因为坐- 着美中西部最大的shopping center--Primer outlet而扬名。虽然之前有很多机会前- ，但直到昨天（6.13)才有幸与其近距- 接触。
下午2点左右从学校出发，沿着I-69E和I-- 75N大约1个小时的车程就到了Primer Outlet。实际上自己年前就在Florida的Orla- ndo逛过该outlet了，看来它们实属大同- 异。在service center取过地图，就正式开始了。
这里面店面齐全，基本上囊括了大多- 知名品牌，像Calvin Klein，Guess， J.Crew, Nautica, Polo Ralph Lauren, Coach等等，考虑到店面太多，根本无法- 一一逛遍，我们就挑喜欢得扫荡起来- 。也许是好久没有shopping的缘故，基- 上所有逛过的没有空手而出的，当然- 贵的物件是不会头脑发热的。比如Cal- vin Klein就算清仓的多数衣服也要上百，不- 过还是掏到了10刀以下自己喜欢的衣服- ，虽然花费些功夫，但也很值了。算- 花钱最多的地方就属Columbia sportswear company和Adidas Outlet Store了，超过了50刀的大关，比起其他- 来说我这只算小巫见大巫了。不过我- 的原则是不把鸡蛋放在一个篮子里面- 所有牌子都要有上几件，体现一下多- 性嘛。我也觉得有些牌子虽说很响，- 但衣服设计地实在不敢恭维，像以Levis- 为代表，价格死贵不说，从我的角度- 说一件比一件难看。相比之下，还是- 欢Old Navy的服饰设计，即使它们远不在一个- 次，不管怎样我只求对的不求贵的。- 逛到最后一家Gap Outlet，看中了一条牛仔，试穿了一下- 在Levis试过同样价位的既好看又舒服- 虽说其中一张信用卡已封顶而遭拒，- 后还是很乐意地将其买下。
提着大兜小兜和朋友们回合了，发现- 买的东西最多，看来从现在起要开始- 慢还钱了。回到学校已将近8点，我- 就在附近的Golden Wok又腐败了一回。
这次shopping之后，不等到Thanksgiving是不- 能再轻举妄动了。 -
shopping at the Horrocks
Horrocks是Lansing 边上一个农贸市场，里面卖的蔬菜算- 附近最便宜的，可惜之前只去过一次- 现在有车了，可以跑到那里买菜了。-
之前和老于约好这周五下午去那里买- ，于是下午一下课就直接跑回来了。- 实验室呆着真是无趣，再者目前实验- 不太紧，很快就能搞定，之后一门心- 就想着要到来的考试，可是在实验室- 种环境很难集中注意力学习，并且听- 着她们讨论实验心里不免有些失望。
回来后闲着无事就趁机打扫了下房间- 托托地，擦擦桌子，吸吸灰尘，很快- 搞定了。之后就是漫长的等待时间，- 最后迫于无奈，开始着手做饭，这个- 候老于也到了，说现在是rush hour,在路上堵了一阵。确实也是，我们- 后来去Horrocks的路上也碰上了，不过还- 好。
那里的蔬菜有些还真算便宜，不过不- 所有的，我们就捡些便宜的买，这里- 水果一点也不便宜，就没敢买，打算- 还是在路上的Meijer买，不过大多数东- 都在这里搞定了，后来在Meijer又买了- 水果和便宜菜就打道回府了。
还算明智，之前吃了饭，因为我们回- 时已将近10点。
对了，这周遇到了一件倒霉事，我的- 行车停在Plant Biology Bld外面不知被谁开车把后轮碾了，也- 有见留下来的条子，看来美国人也是- 多一事不如少一事，害得自己还得自- 己去修，这下可花了不少钱，近45刀，- 比上次换轮多了近15刀，这下也体验了- 美国服务的昂贵，我也会更加爱惜我- 车子了。 -
who will be the US president?
随着美国两党总统候选人正式浮出水- ，谁能入主白宫成为世人纷纷猜测的- 题。百草止水认为麦凯恩胜算更大，- 其理由概括如下： 第一，美国是- 白人人口接近七成的国家，而黑人人- 尚不足15%。麦凯恩是典型的白人，奥- 巴马则属于黑色种群。尽管种族歧视- 美国不再那么严重，但白种人的优越- 毕竟无法很快消失，尤其是种族平等- 在美国作为一项法律和实践尚不是很- 。在这种情况下，黑人奥巴马竞选美- 总统，必然就存在着先天的不足和劣- 势。麦凯恩显然就能占据地利和人和- 这基本上是他区别于奥巴马的最大优- 。
美国的种族歧视事实上还是很严- ，尽管表面上黑人和其他少数种族的- 位在迅猛提升，但是还根本无法实现- 和白人的平起平坐。在民主党的预选- 中，希拉里因为性别歧视而最终走了- 城，，美国人说他们尚未做好迎接女- 性总统的准备。那么黑人奥巴马横空- 世美国人就准备好了吗？显然不，这- 过是民主党的更加自由和民主之风令- 奥巴马艰难胜出，在保守的美国共和- 选民眼里他显然远远不及希拉里，更- 况是麦凯恩。
第二，副总统候选人首次成为事- 大选成败的重要砝码。麦凯恩虽在共- 党预选中轻松胜出，但他年龄太大，- 其副总统搭档就必须要年轻，44岁的阿- 拉斯加州女州长萨拉•帕琳就这样- 出了水面。奥巴马历经艰苦征战才获- 得民主党提名，不仅因为他的资历浅- 而且因为他的黑人出身，于是65岁的- 人参议院外交委员会主席拜登便走上- 前台。
仔细比较共和党搭档和民主党组- ，我们发现共和党更具优势。首先，- 和党的搭档均为白人，这在占人口绝- 大多数的美国白人眼里不会成为问题- 其次，希拉里的竞选历时漫长，不少- 国人心中已经种下了女总统的期待，- 所以希拉里预选败北令他们极为失落- 预选艰苦胜出的奥巴马又非常忌讳与- 拉里搭档，麦凯恩便及时寄出女副手- 以吸拉这部分选票，奥巴马之失便成- 麦凯恩之得，希拉里因素成了左右选- 投票的一个重要关键。
第三，现任总统布什的作用。本- 布什政府在伊拉克的重大挫折令美国- 高度失望，这本是上届和本届美国大- 选中民主党手里的有力砝码，可是他- 都未能很好地利用，结果上届大选克- 败北，本届大选奥巴马也将重蹈覆辙- 。为啥会这样？上届大选克里应对失- ，本届的奥巴马更是缺乏经验。更重- 的是，尽管布什政府在伊拉克问题上- 陷入了巨大麻烦，但美国面对着的世- 局势更加不安全，美国需要一位强力- 又果敢的总统，克里无法展现出这种- 魅力，奥巴马更是欠缺多多，因此奥- 马的胜算只会更小。
反观麦凯恩，丰富的越战经历，- 妥协的从政履历，坚毅的对外政策，- 恰很适合美国人对安全问题的需要。- 尤其是伊拉克局势有所好转，美国驻- 的伤亡大幅下降，伊拉克因素在大选- 的份量将会有所下降。而伊朗核问题- 的日趋紧张，格俄冲突将要引发的美- 新冷战，都将迫使美国人去挑选一位- 有经验且最富胆略的总统。
第四，两党代表大会之前，麦凯- 的支持率一度领先于奥巴马。民主党- 表大会召开之后，奥巴马的支持率再- 度反超麦凯恩，但领先幅度不是很大- 随后共和党代表大会胜利召开，麦凯- 年轻的女搭档萨拉•帕琳开始聚- 公众视线，两组候选人的支持率无论- 前谁后都将会不相上下。随着美国大- 选序幕的正式拉开，谁将最终胜出的- 扑朔迷离。
问题是两党选民有一个非常明显- 区别：共和党选民以中上层美国白人- 主，在历次大选中的投票积极性和投- 票率都很高；民主党选民以蓝领和有- 人种为主，历次大选中的投票积极性- 投票率有所不足。在这种情况下，两- 党候选人的民意支持率差距不大时，- 般都会对共和党极为有利。共和党选- 因为观念保守，所以凝聚力强，容易- 动员。而民主党却因为观念太过民主- 自由，因而就凝聚力弱，动员能力就- 些。所以，如果奥巴马不能大幅度领- 先麦凯恩，要想赢得大选将会非常艰- 。
那么是否麦凯恩就将注定会赢得大选- 也不尽然！美国大选的偶然性太大，- 酷的大选将会使最终结果更加难以捉- 摸。这是因为还会有其他众多因素在- 右大选选情：首先是谁筹钱更多，其- 是谁的竞选广告更加生猛，再次是谁- 更加善于竞选造势，第四就是各人在- 选期间对种种突发事件的把握能力。- 此，奥巴马也存在入主白宫的可能，- 只不过他要付出比麦凯恩更多的努力- 代价。而且奥巴马一旦当选，就很可- 成为白人激进势力的谋杀目标，从而- 很不幸地步上马丁路德金和林肯及肯- 迪的老路。
奥巴马-美国革命-造神运动
如果再有一黑人 喊出“More Changes”，我们是否选他还是Obama？
数月前，当肯尼迪（Edward Kennedy ）在一竞选集会上带领众人引吭高歌- Obama is our sunshine（奥巴马是我们的阳光）”，我- 们情不自禁地回想起我们伟大祖国的- 亮颂歌“东方红，太阳升， 中国出了个毛泽
东”，仿佛回到了风雷激荡的文化大- 命时代。
既使我们中国已不再搞大体育场或广- 之类的大型群众集会，美国数百年也- 曾有过。但是，今年是美国革命年，- 一切的一切都变了，因为我们迎来了- 国乃至世界的大救星—Barack Hussein Obama（吧那个.侯赛因. 奥巴马）。上周，我们美国80，000人民- 在Pepsi 大体育场， 洗耳恭听 Messiah奥巴马的声调一浪高过一浪的布- 与训导。（估计 如能当选美国总统， 要像当年毛泽东天安门上检阅百万红- 兵一样，在华盛顿
举行百万人的 就职典礼和大游行。美国乃至全世界- 假一个月，以示隆重庆祝！ ）
Change，Change， Change， 听上去就像祈祷一样，不过我们祈祷- 多有事求。而我始终不知这祈祷Change- 内涵。奥巴马从未 给出答案。我也问过很多人，让他/她- 给我列出若干具体的Change，无人能给- 出一个。奥巴马究竟要 Change 什么？？？把Chicago的腐败政治带到华- 顿？将他的老婆工资再涨160%倍？再- 信给国会拨款给Rizco，然后再让Rizco 送他一套Mansion？ 我想奥巴马 所要的最核心的Change是，通过这场造- 运动，把他Change 成美国总统。
但问题是，他从未领导过一个哪怕最- 的行政单位，又没有任何可以夸耀的- 就，（在Illinois ， 他在超过170项议案上投了 present， 在参议院他未有一个提案）他这样一- 既无经验，无作为，又无建树，更无- 德的人（有很多历史疑点待查），如- 何让人相信他？ 极左翼民主党头目们让我们投他的票- 仅仅因为他的半黑的皮肤？？
如果选了他，不就只是促进了整容业- 发展， 越来越多的人Change自己的肤色成黑色- 去享受AA 法去上Ivy 名校，去享受黑人才能独享的种种照- ，去所向披靡地去参选总统？
如果选了他，不就是鼓励政治投机，- 机取巧吗？ 如果再过 若干年，再有一个初出茅庐的黑人 振臂一呼，喊出“More Changes”， 我们是不是要再次响应极左翼民主党- 目们的号召，呼拥而上，再造化一个- 奥巴马 更耀眼的新神？
有鉴于此，我以及我的朋友们准备在- 今年的大选中投McCain/Palin的票，理由- 下：
（1） McCain是个英雄，心口如一，光明磊落- Palin 是 和我们一样的平民出身， 敢和邪恶腐败势力抗争，正派清廉，- 绩斐然。
（2） 我们无法Trust Obama ，他从哪里来？他要把美国往哪里带- 他是一个美国自建国以来最无经验， 也未经过vetting的总统侯选人。左翼媒- 从一开始就给了他a Free Pass, 这在美国历史上是极为罕见的。主流- 体本身就是一个值得探究的Story, 彻底改变了我们对主流媒体的印象。- 翼主流媒体对奥巴马的明目张胆的纵- 与偏袒和奥巴马对Clintons的无理攻讦- 漫骂与詆毁，这些也是促使我们投奥- 巴马反对票的
原因之一。如果他是一个非黑人（其- 他是一半白人），我们也不会投他的- 。
（3） 追溯美国 历史， 从未有 极左翼民主党人或极右翼共和党人 赢得总统大选。原因之一，极端化的- 统侯选人会 激发 对立面Base的投票热情。原因之二，Inde- pendents中间选民不喜欢极端化的总统侯- 选人。
奥巴马是一极左翼民主党人，所以大- 右翼共和党人和中间选民会蜂拥而出- 去投共和党的票。
（4） 历史证明，国会与总统不宜属与同一- 党。看看Polosi 等领导的众参两院低至9%的Approval Rate， 是数十年来通过立法最少的国会，而Po- losi一直力挺奥巴马，你就知到道再选- 个奥巴马会有多大的危险。（不过对- 中国或许是个利好，因为“海龟”回- 会大幅增加。）
（5） 从来没有救世主，不要太相信政客。- 客越是信誓旦旦，花言巧语，越是要- 惕。 奥巴马的满嘴跑火车，语言花花緑緑- 开得空头支票最多，但就是无真实内- ，还经常根据形势需要，改变自己的- 说法（这也是他标榜的Change, we can）。
（6） 奥巴马是民主党历史上最大的分裂者- 他已使很多老民主党人丧失信心，造- 了影响久远的混乱。我们所知道的不- 少人因这次初选已决定脱离民主党。- 感谢Clintons的大度与Grace，否则民主党- 的情形会更糟。如果尊敬的读者知道Ed- wardKennedy与 Carter的1980初选，而后Carter惨败给Regan 这一段史实，就会知道我所说的缘由- ） -
the opinion about 2008 Olympic games
北京奥运会，中国代表团夺金的效率- 常之高，在8月18日更是一天夺取8枚金- 牌，与当初金牌榜排名第五韩国队的8- 相同。我关注了很多的金牌的诞生和- 多场奥运会的比赛，也有一些感悟。
1.中国代表团的首金。
陈燮霞，女子48公斤级举重。由于杜丽- 发挥不够出色，没能得到首金，所以- 金的重担落到了陈燮霞的肩上，可以- 陈燮霞是以绝对的优势，摘取了这枚- 金牌，也开始了中国代表团近乎疯狂- 夺金之旅。
2.射击举重小将的出色发挥
男子10米气手枪庞伟，女子10米气手枪- 文珺，男子56公斤级举重龙清泉，男- 69公斤级举重廖辉。虽然都是奥运赛- 上的小将，但是整个比赛过程却显得- 非常成熟稳定，这与平时的训练是分- 开的。不过从总也让人感到有些伤感- 这些年轻的小将为了这枚金牌，在训- 练中付出了多么大的努力啊。
3.轻松的未免郭晶晶/吴敏霞
郭晶晶/吴敏霞女子双人3米板，基本上- 从第二条开始就确立了绝对的优势，- 到最后一条，整个过程凭借稳定的发- ，毫无悬念，使得国人可以全心的欣- 赏跳水的优美，而不用太担心中国运- 员的成绩。
4.跳水梦之队另外3枚双人跳水金牌。
男子双人10米跳台林跃/火亮，女子双- 10米跳台陈若琳/王鑫，男子双人3米跳- 板王峰/秦凯。这三对跳水组合的比赛- 估计也是大家看的很轻松的比赛，基- 本上都是从第一条就开始确立领先优- ，直到最后一条，大比分领先第二名- 可以说获得冠军是毫无悬念的。
5.传奇的妈妈级冠军——冼东妹。
女子52公斤级柔道冼东妹，可以说是一- 个传奇人物，曾经几度退役，几度付- ，夺得过亚运会，世锦赛，奥运会的- 军，而且本次北京奥运会成功未免52- 斤级柔道冠军。赛后记者对她的采访- ，冼东妹流着泪说想孩子，从中我们- 可以看出运动员所付出的努力，作出- 牺牲。
6.硕士力士——陈艳青，张湘祥
女子58公斤级举重陈艳青，男子62公斤- 举重张湘祥，两个人同一天获得奥运- 冠军。陈艳青是心理学硕士，张湘祥- 北京体育大学体育教育训练学硕士，- 两个人赛后接受记者采访的谈吐，看- 出两个人不俗的素质。张湘祥夺冠后- 两次跪拜也是对他8年甚至更长时间努- 力的一种情感宣泄，对帮助支持他的- 的一种感恩，不得不说，好样的。
7.射击场上的遗憾——朱启南，谭宗亮-
男子10米气步枪朱启南，男子50米手枪- 射谭宗亮。由于朝鲜运动员金钟秀被- 查出服用了禁用药物，所以谭宗亮的- 牌也被瞬移为银牌。朱启南和谭宗亮- 枚银牌获得者，不得不说有些遗憾，- 但是就像谭宗亮说的“铜牌也是对自- 这么多年的一种肯定”，我们也应该- 他们鼓掌。
8.个人赛历史的突破——仲满，常永祥- ，刘子歌
男子佩剑个人赛冠军仲满，男子74公斤- 级古典式摔跤银牌常永祥，女子200米- 泳冠军刘子歌。这三个人都实现了个- 的历史突破。男子佩剑仲满使得中国- 人第一次站在男子佩剑的最高领奖台- ，这也得益于中国击剑队的法国教练- 埃尔，正是这名传奇教练，给中国击- 剑队带来了立杆见影的效果，从中我- 也可以体会到同一个世界同一个梦想- 奥运理念，我们也应该理解美国女排- 的教练郎平，和跳水以及乒乓球项目- 各国到处可见的中国教练，也是中国- 育事业为世界体育事业作出的贡献。-
男子74公斤级古典式摔跤常永祥虽然只- 得到了银牌，但这也是中国代表团在- 典式摔跤项目上的突破，出乎了很多- 的意料，虽然最终没能夺冠，但是我- 们一样要给与绝对的掌声。
女子200米蝶泳冠军刘子歌，第一次使- 在游泳项目上有了中国人的世界纪录- 非常的不容易。
9.团体历史的突破——中国女子体操团- 体，羽毛球男子双打，女子四人双桨- 艇
女子体操团体程菲，邓琳琳，江钰源- 何可欣，李珊珊，杨伊琳6个女孩在跳- 马，高低杠，平衡木，自由操上面的- 定发挥确定了自己的冠军位置，虽然- 不是十全十美，但是基本发挥出了各- 自的水平，获得冠军也是理所当然的- 这也填补了，中国体操梦之队在女子- 体上没有得到过奥运冠军的空白。
羽毛球男子双打傅海峰/蔡赟的风云组- 虽然最终败给了目前世界排名第一的- 印尼组合，而且是遭到逆转，不得不- 有一些遗憾。但相信看过两个人比赛- 人都会为两个人强烈的攻势，富有攻- 击性的打法而叫好，虽然只是银牌，- 这也是中国羽毛球男双项目第一次夺- 奥运会的亚军。
女子四人双桨赛艇唐宾，金紫薇，奚- 华，张杨杨。相信看了当时直播的人- 应该理解这枚金牌的突破的意义了，- 当时的解说员充满激情，几近哽咽的- 说，估计很多人也都有些了解，从这- 点上就不难看出，这枚金牌到底有多- 么重要。
10.最让观众过瘾的比赛——女子69公斤- 级举重
女子69公斤级举重刘春红，估计看了那- 场比赛的人都和我的感受差不多，就- 过瘾。6举5破世界纪录，抓举，挺举- 总成绩三项记录都为刘春红一个人创- 的，看了比赛的整个过程就是轻松过- 瘾，也是这么多金牌争夺的比赛中让- 看着非常爽的比赛之一。
11.为自己证明的冠军——杜丽
女子50米步枪3姿冠军杜丽，北京奥运- 开赛首金被太多的人给予了非常多的- 望，而射击项目是什么事情都能发生- 的，由于发挥不是很好，杜丽没能获- 首金，非常的遗憾。但4天后的50米三- ，这个她所谓的副项，却让她证明了- 自己，了却了她心中大部分的遗憾，- 该表示祝贺。
12.一个人的胜利——张娟娟
女子射箭个人赛冠军张娟娟，在韩国- 位高手的包夹下取得了这枚来之不易- 冠军，相信看过她比赛的人也会觉得- 非常神奇不可思议。而且她的胜利也- 以说报了之前女子团体输给韩国的几- 之仇，虽然一个团体比不过你们，但- 我一个人就可以单挑你们三个！
13.最艰难的胜利——杨秀丽
女子柔道78公斤级，由于柔道举重等项- 目，还是比较冷僻的，不像乒乓球羽- 球，体操，篮球等项目那样被大家熟- ，而相信之前搭建对杨秀丽这个名字- ，也没有什么认知。只是相信看过了- 场艰难的比赛的人都应该会记得这个- 字，虽然眼睛受伤，但这丝毫没有影- 响这名伟大的运动员的风采和拼搏精- ，而且大家也能改能想到柔道摔跤等- 目运动员所要付出的努力。
14.举重美女——曹磊
女子75公斤级举重冠军曹磊，估计看了- 曹磊比赛的人，得出的结论和我都查- 太多，曹磊绝对是举重项目的美女了- 而且还有虎牙，很是漂亮啊。不过这- 位美女冠军也是非常可怜啊，为了不- 响她比赛，父亲把她母亲去世的消息- 迟了两个星期才告诉她，可怜的女儿- 没能见到自己母亲的最后一面，估计- 一生的遗憾了。
15.最扣人心弦的夺冠——佟文
女子78公斤以上级柔道佟文，这场比赛- 看过的人都会叫好，没看直播的不免- 些可惜。在5分钟比赛时间里，第3分- 左右，佟文被对手一次摔得10 分，以10分落后，尽管后面，对手被判- 了一次消极，佟文的到1分，但佟文依- 落后。到了比赛倒数第15秒，也许当- 很多人都放弃了，因为柔道比赛是非- 常耗费体力的，而在只剩下15秒的时间- 里，又怎么能出现奇迹呢？结果转机- 的发生了，倒数第15秒，佟文以一个- 彩的“背口袋”，历时3秒以一本获得- 了胜利，这3秒钟估计也让无数的日本- 众伤心难过。而且根据赛后对佟文的- 访谈节目看，日本观众是很喜欢和尊- 佟文的，柔道是日本的国技，而佟文- 胜了很多的日本柔道高手，成为了日- 本柔道界最强的对手。
16.最男人的冠军——陆永
男子85公斤级举重冠军陆永，由于在抓- 举阶段陆永第三次试举失误，落后第- 名5公斤。而该名选手在第三次挺举试- 举中成功的举起了209公斤，因此由于- 永体重轻一些，所以举起214公斤才能- 冠。为了这枚金牌，他发起了冲击，- 第二次试举他使出了全身的力量，而- 左手还受了一点伤，结果他举起来了- 裁判的三盏白灯全部亮起，但之后由- 于对手教练的不满，裁判重新做出了- 罚，由于陆永整个举重过程中出线了- 屈肘”，所以本次试举被判失败。之- 后陆永什么也没说，开始第三次试举- 相信当时观众们都为他捏了一把汗，- 为感觉第二次试举他已经使出了全力- ，他的第三次能成功吗？结果他吼了- 下，然后轻松的把杠铃举了起来，并- 举起保持了很长时间，向裁判和对手- 证明，我赢得胜利靠得是实力，陆永- 样的。
17.最幸运的冠军——邱健
男子50米步枪3*40冠军邱健。估计看了- 个项目决赛的观众一定会感觉到不可- 议，上一届雅典奥运会最后一枪脱靶- 的埃蒙斯，把冠军拱手让给了中国选- 贾占波，这次有奇迹般的出线了4.4环- 重大失误，把到手的金牌拱手让给了- 我国选手邱健，当然资格赛排名第四- 邱健也是凭借着自己决赛阶段稳定的- 挥才得到了这枚金牌，对此也要对他- 表示祝贺。而对埃蒙斯，只是表示惋- ，希望他调整好心态，伦敦奥运会再- 这枚金牌夺回来。
18.比赛场上的遗憾——程菲，郭爽
女子体操运动员程菲，在所参加的3个- 赛项目，跳马，自由操，平衡木上都- 有一些失误，最终只获得了跳马和平- 木项目的铜牌，实在是可惜啊，特别- 自由操赛后的哭泣，确实让无数的观- 众为之难过伤心。不过我们相信她会- 作起来，取的更辉煌的胜利。
19.跳水，体操等其他个人项目的夺冠
可以说这些项目的夺冠，没有任何异- ，是运动员们刻苦训练和稳定发挥获- 的，再一次向全世界证明了中国体操- 、跳水梦之队的所向无敌。
20.老将的稳定发挥——扬威，郭晶晶
男子体操个人全能冠军扬威，绝对是- 借着自己稳定出色的发挥夺得了这枚- 贵的男子体操个人全能金牌，扬威也- 向世人证明了，自己不再是“千年老- ”，而是向他赛后说的那样“我是no.1- 了”。
郭晶晶在双人和单人3米板上稳定的发- ，以绝对的实力夺得了这两枚金牌，- 当然其中双人3米板也有吴明霞一般的- 劳。赛后给郭晶晶颁奖的竟然是霍震- 霆，这也不免成了各大网站的新闻。
21.最牛的夺冠——中国乒乓女团，男-
中国乒乓球团体的比赛，大家完全不- 有任何担心，各次比赛都是以大分3：- 0，横扫对手，不给对手留任何机会。- 不得有些媒体上从开赛就开始说“乒- 乓球团体到底会剃对手多少个光头呢- ”，这两枚金牌也可是说是最牛的夺- ，也向全世界证明中国乒乓球no.1的- 置，不是浪得虚名啊。
22.媒体评价的几个梦之队——举重，- 水，体操，羽毛，乒乓，国奥
相信从中国代表团的整个夺金历程，- 家对举重队参加9个项目，8金1银的成- 非常满意，跳水，体操，乒乓，羽毛- 也都有着不俗的表现，这些被称为梦- 队，可谓是众望所归。而国奥之所以- 梦之队，是因为他们确实如同在梦中- 踢球一样，当之无愧的“梦之队”。
23.北京奥运会最大的悲伤
本次北京奥运会最大的悲伤莫过于，- 国飞人刘翔的因伤退赛，使得全世界- 注他的人一时都难以接受，很多人也- 有一些批评的言论，这也是人们的一- 对自己看法的表达，而支持他的人也- 陈述了自己的理由，不管支持也好，- 反对也罢。这件事情在国人中间引起- 巨大反应，是需要一定的时间来慢慢- 息的。我也希望，刘翔日后能后更加- 好的表现。
奥运会是充满惊喜、振奋、愉快、悲- 、惋惜等等复杂感情的一个盛世，经- 了这一个阶段的比赛，中国代表团获- 得了非常成功的战绩，估计本次奥运- ，第一的位置无法被撼动了，希望大- 能够更加喜爱体育运动，也为那些别- 的国家的体育健儿加油助威。 -
how to date
看到这个帖子挺有意思，不过自己是- 有耐性把它看完的。说实在的，自己- 需要约会的技巧。然而有时候不知道- 是怎样想的，也许是习惯了一个人的- 活，很少或说是害羞的缘故吧，自己- 少和女孩独处，当然这不是长久之际- ，毕竟自己在慢慢长大，不能总这样- 去呀。
How many times have you gone on what you thought was an amazing date only to
find that the person never calls back or doesn't seem interested when you
try to book another date?
Dating can be awkward, and everyone makes mistakes. Of course, there aresome instances in which the person you like doesn't follow up and it has nothing to do with you (e.g,. an ex comes back into her life...don't youlove that
. But often it's simple things we do (or don't do) that prevent us from making a connection. During the past few years, I've interviewed hundreds of daters and asked them what they were looking for, and it's amazing to hear the same themes.Women have certainly complained to me about the biggest mistakes they feel that men make in dating, so I thought I'd share the secrets
1. Men Show Off or Try to Impress Too Much. Don't offer your resume, your earning potential, and tell us how you'll change our lives the first time we meet you. Instead of talking about yourself the whole night, ask questions! Don't come on too strong right away. Let us figure out if we want to be with you, instead of telling us we do.
2. Men Don't Listen to Us When We're Talking. We notice if you stop listening to us, if you ask us questions we just answered, or if you keep interrupting us when we're opening up. This drives most women nuts! Unless you're on call, don't check your Blackberry at dinner and don't check out other women
3. Men Aren't Chivalrous. The lines here are not always clear. We want you to treat us like equals, but we also want you to treat us like women. It's nice when a man picks up the tab or makes sure his date gets home safely. It may be old-fashioned, but a number of women report that dating a gentleman
matters.
4. Men Don't Take Initiative. Men, how many times have you caught yourself saying, "I don't know" or "Whatever you'd like" when planning a date? If you 've asked a woman out, a better approach is to give a few fun and creative date options and ask her to pick one. Initiative doesn't mean ordering for a woman at a restaurant or ordering a woman around! It does mean confidently approaching your date with ideas,
passion and interest. It also means you can be flirty and forward, letting her know how amazing you think she looks or how much you want to kiss her.
5. Men Say They'll Call and Then Don't. It's no surprise that acting like you're going to follow up when you're not bothers most women (and never underestimate the way word travels about you not keeping your word!). Better to end a date by saying, "It was nice to meet you. Have a good night." Don' t act like you're going to follow up if you're not. If you've gone out more than a few times, be honest that while you enjoy your date's company, you don't feel a romantic connection. Just remember, communication is usually
the way to go with a woman. There are always exceptions, so I don't believe there are absolute rights
and wrongs in dating -- but there are strategies. If you follow these simple steps, you'll be ahead in the dating game. At least you'll get an 'A' for effort.
1. DO be impressed by the object of your affection rather than trying to impress him or her with all your stats. People notice when you notice them. No need to ask 20 questions, but do ask a few open-ended and specific questions (rather than 'yes'/'no' questions), make eye contact and listen. Curiosity is a very attractive quality and a simple way to engage your audience.
2. DO find common ground. What brought you to the party? Chances are you know some people in common in the room. This will help you build connection and trust. When asking the object of your interest questions, figure out some activities, hobbies, or experiences you've shared.
3. DO hang out by the food and drink table when you don't know who to talk to. Ever notice how people congregate in the kitchen at many house parties? Many people approach this area on their own to refill their cups and grab a bite, and it will be easier to start a conversation when they've stepped away from the other guests. Offer to get a drink for the object of your affection and if he or she is standing with a friend, extend the invitation.
4. DO see every person you meet as a potential connection. Stay open. Sometimes the people you know the least will help you the most. If you chat with someone interesting who is not single, he or she may know someone to introduce you to. Also, do not assume that the shy person in the corner at a party is boring. Take the opportunity to learn about people in the room before you decide if you are interested or not.
5. DO initiate conversation. The general rule of networking is to approach someone who is standing on his or her own or join a conversation with three or more people. In general, it's not a great idea to interrupt two people talking unless you know one. When approaching someone new, always remember to smile.
So fill up your social calendar this holiday season and let the pick ups begin! If you play your cards right, you'll be like my friend and will want to hibernate and crawl into bed this winter...but in this case, it won't be because you're lonely.
We've all heard that it's the thought that counts when it comes to giving a gift. Unfortunately, that's not always true in dating. When you're first dating someone, there's a fine line between romantic and creepy.
It's true that when the interest is mutual you can probably give your date a heart-shaped paperweight that she or he will cherish. More often than not, however, early courtship is meant to have a little mystery and it's not a good idea to spill all your romantic beans too soon (framing that cute photo of your first date and giving it to him on your third may not be the best move). There are no hard rules when it comes to sharing a gift with someone you're dating, but there are some guidelines. Here are a few thoughts on gifts to
give your date at every stage of your relationship:
When you've dated for 1-3 months
During the first few months, it's a good idea to stick to simple, thoughtful and cost-efficient gifts. Your instinct may be to shower your date with expensive items of jewelry or trips, but this may not work in your favor. One potential problem is that you're setting the bar high for heightened experiences and it may be difficult to keep up. Spending tons of money too early may actually turn off someone who isn't sure if you're the right person.
The best early-date gift I ever got was a bouquet of cookies. I think my date noticed I was like Pavlov's dog when the biscotti tray came out when we had dinner at an Italian restaurant one night, so he showed up for our next date with his own version. It worked well because it was fun, personal, and clear he was paying attention to what I liked!
Some other ideas: Use an inside joke you share as a theme when picking a gift; buy your date a book based on something you've discussed; and ye ol' faithful flowers or gourmet chocolates. Planning a creative and fantastic date is also a great early gift.
When you've dated for 6-12 months
After a few months of dating, you're more likely to be closer and your gifts can reflect that. Here are what some people had to say about the best gifts
they've shared at this stage of dating:
"After 7 months together my boyfriend's gift to me was a weekend in New York. He wrapped up an apple as my first gift to open, and the second gift was a Frank Sinatra CD ("New York, New York"
. The card explained the details of the trip."
"Customized cuff links are a great gift. I once got a dentist boyfriend these platinum cuff links with a toothbrush on one side and a tooth on the other. It's personal, luxurious and functional!"
Some other ideas: Make a modern mix tape for your date by gifting songs on iTunes; buy sports or theater tickets for a future date; frame that cute photo of you together. When you've dated more than a year
"On our first anniversary, I took my girlfriend out for dinner and then gave her a gift certificate for a local spa and told her she had to use it that weekend. She had been stressed at work, so I knew she'd appreciate it."
"My boyfriend loves fixing up his house, so I got him his dream power tool. He was pretty excited about that and liked it more than the sweaters I usually buy him!" Ironically, some people who have dated for a while get lazy with their gifts, assuming that they're "in" with their partners and can shop last-minute.
However, this is the time to make sure your gift is very personal and the card you give reflects your feelings (at least for most women, a thoughtful card wins big points!).
The bottom line is that giving a gift will send a message, so figure out what you're prepared to say. If you want to say, "I don't know where this is going," keep your gifts a little more generic. If you want to say "I love you," tailor your gift to his or her passion. Whatever you do, though, skip the heart-shaped paperweight.
Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life, that you would probably be a far more successful dater? Think about it -- your follow-ups would be better, your memory would be better... and your manners would be better. Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better because you would not be so emotionally driven and attached to every single outcome.
One of the most common dating situations in which people always seem to lose their "business skills" is deciding when to return a phone call after a date leaves a message. Many people feel it's necessary to create some super- special strategy to decide when to return that phone message. This is the
most ridiculous thing in the world! So let's go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all. In the
area of dating, when do you call a date back after he/she has left you a phone message?
Here are five phone rules that everyone should following when dating:
1: Be Prompt When They're Prompt. If you give out your phone number and a date calls you within 24 hours, then you should call this date back within 24 hours. There should be none of this "waiting four or five days to call" business. When your date has called you within 24 hours, that's called momentum. It's called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls. Even if you're busy, call your date back promptly to let your date know that you' re busy and tell your date you will connect with him/her in a few days when your schedule settles down; Waiting four or five days to return a phone message to me is simply rude. You would never do this in your business life, yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.
2: If They Waited, You May Also Wait. You've given your phone number to a date, and that date waits four or five days to call you. As far as I'm concerned, when that happens you are entitled to wait four or five days to return that person's call. That person did not make you a priority, and he/ she played games. Although the person decided to call you, what he/she was likely actually doing during those four or five days was debating whether he /she wanted to call you. This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get
a woman's phone number and wait four or five days to call her, that I'm really not that interested in her and I really don't care whether or not she calls me back.
3: It's OK to Call Right Back. If a date calls you promptly after you've given him/her your phone number, then you should call this date back within 24 hours -- but it is even perfectly fine to call him/her back the same night your date called you. It doesn't look desperate. It looks like you actually have manners, that you're someone who pays attention to detail, and that you're someone who respects other people's time. Think about this for a second. When a date calls you, he/she is taking time out of their day to
talk to you. So it's not only "OK," but really simple courtesy, to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call. This is something we do in business every day without ever thinking twice about it, but we don't do this in our dating life because we conduct it with emotionally based decisions.
4: You Can't Manipulate Your Date Into Liking You. So many people think
there needs to be some "strategy" in making the decision when to return
phone calls. They'll think things like, "Oh, let me think when I should call
my date back. Should I wait four or five days so I'll seem busy and not too
available? If I call back today will I seem desperate? It doesn't work that
way! This is simply a matter of courtesy and being a mature adult. If a
client calls me and leaves me a message about wanting me to coach him/her, I
will call the client back as quickly as possible not because I'm desperate
for business but because I respect the fact that the client took the time to
contact me. Playing games and trying to make your date think certain things
about you (like that you're busy or not desperate) by waiting to return a
phone call will not make your date more interested in you than he/she would
otherwise be. All you will accomplish by doing this is make your date think
you're rude and uninterested.
5: Being Busy Is No Excuse. So many of us are busy being busy. As busy
people, we get how busy everyone's life can be. Returning a phone call and
leaving a voicemail message, though, takes only about 15 to 30 seconds.
Returning a call to let a date know that you're busy and will call him/her
in a few days takes barely a minute. It's better to return a call promptly
and let your date know you're busy and will call him/her in a few days after
things settle down (with work, kids, or whatever it might be), then to put
the phone call off and to think about it. The longer you wait to call your
date back, the less likely your date will still have the same interest in
you that your date had in the first place.
These are all tips that you should follow in navigating the phone calls you
receive from someone you're newly dating. These tips are equally applicable
to men and women. So remember to follow these rules, and when your date
calls you -- call your date back!
Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the
dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words,
average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never
heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too
confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you
have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and
he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a
good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no
chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The
fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you
or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one
of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it
won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or
disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect
yourself more. To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why
does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?
" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman
too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does.
He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives
too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made
himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention,
affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her
eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her
doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not
going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do
is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy,
more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you
forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a
position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something)
else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this
situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More,
they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value. Translation:
Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort
or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that
he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How
? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in
what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with
compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he
knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude
is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a
busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.
Men often complain that women are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most women are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired, safe, and inspired.
These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs... forward!
#1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is
when you've both decided that you'd like to get together for more than a
quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her
up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is
usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.
Romantic Rule: Starbucks doesn't count!
#2: A long lead time. Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance.
They know that women like to be treated like they're too in demand to have
huge holes in their social calendars, (even if you have intel that would
suggest otherwise!) You'll create romantic tension by giving her several
days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret
ingredient of seductive success... anticipation. Romantic Rule: Create
romance by planning in advance for it.
#3: Actions speak louder than words. Women know that men invest in the
things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal,
be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are
insultingly casual, it's a clear sign that you're withholding your approval
from her. Women will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often
shoo you away without further ado. You don't have to spend big bucks, but if
you like her, why not come up with something that will delight her?
Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have
for her!
#4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most
women needlessly anxiety. If you men had any idea about the pre-date regime
that women go through to get ready for a high priority date, you'd all be
much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late,
she'll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn't show it.
Romantic Rule: Having good manners will make her feel like you're a great
bet, and not a deranged stranger.
#5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It's bad form
for a man to keep a woman waiting in general, but especially so on a first
date. This often puts women into a state of "dressing disorder." When men
are late, most women will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell
rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She'll then blame this on
you, the tardy man, who should've arrived on time to avert this crisis!
Romantic Rule: If you'll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her of
your new ETA as soon as you can. Most women appreciate extra time to fluff-
up before you ring their bell.
#6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately. Men earn a woman's
affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and
every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No
matter how hot or how homely, she'll want to know that you find her fetching
if she's agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss
her a compliment. Try the old standby "You look great" or the new
metrosexual classic, "Love your shoes" immediately upon your arrival. You'll
have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point. Romantic Rule:
Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.
#7: Woman are suckers for a man with a plan. Women love men who have the
ability to care for them and about them. It's always a good sign when a man
has made reservations because it's proof that you're not winging it. When
you take control, it's a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The
typical woman will also be wary of the man who asks in a whiny voice what
she'd like to do.
#8: Pick up the check. If you're wondering who should pick up the first
check. Please consider that women spend wads of money on first dates: there'
s the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming),
lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It's an
investment for women to just show up. Romantic Rule: The very least you can
do is to pick her up and feed her. She's exhausted!
#9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don't weenie out and say "I'll
call you." Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and
say, "Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you." That'll
signal it's a wrap.
#10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door,
look her in the eyes, say "I had an amazing time tonight" and move in for
the perfect nightcap... a goodnight kiss. If she turns her cheek, don't
despair! She may not be ready for a lip lock just yet. Tell her you want to
see her again and set up your next date right then and there.
For those of you who use text messaging as a form of communication with
someone you're dating, whether you have a BlackBerry or an Apple iPhone,
text messaging is the most abused and misinterpreted form of communication
out there.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for
confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant." It's
great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?". It's great to
reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know." It's
great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't
talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight."
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the
dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly
within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of
these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended
misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid
in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of
communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what
you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something
that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you
into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the
opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell
someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in
person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. Texting is the chicken way to
blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.
Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when
a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks
that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that
interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys,
if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some
women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call
them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the
night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning.
Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give
someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few
hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few
times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-
so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real
conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with
someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you
need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange
a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean
they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as
your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're
texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and
they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen
asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal,
though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they
responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and
they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They
may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to
text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some
work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you
answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go
unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the
phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be.
Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the
time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about...
getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy
wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging.
Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun
side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting
in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in
someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you'
re hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and
get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding
behind text messaging!
Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to
contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me
some amazing things men have written to them in emails.
Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to
get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman
in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But
when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get
abrasive and crude.
Here's my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a
woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm
making up! But all of them are things men actually do.
Top 10 email turnoffs for women
1. Don't ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might
as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no
interest in getting to know her, because that's what she's going to think if
you ask her this.
2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your
first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient
. Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to
respond to you.
3. Don't ask her how many other dates she's been on from Yahoo! Personals.
How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important
is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.
4. Don't send her a nasty email if she hasn't responded to you after several
emails. It's her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact
with you. If she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There
are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.
5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email
exchange, and don't send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about
connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling,
that doesn't mean she's going to respond.
6. If she gives you her phone number, don't wait a week to call her. By
extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn't call you back,
don't be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone
number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.
7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you
please send me a picture so I can see your body?" Ask her if she'd like to
exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some.
Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of
themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body.
Men, don't do this!
8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone right
away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You
need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to
email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she'll give you her phone
number right away. Either way, don't be rude.
9. Do not email-stalk her. Many of my women clients have complained to me
about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until
they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the
very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails
several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking her
out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll never go out
with you.
10. Don't send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very
first time, don't cut and paste an email message in July that you've been
sending out for six months with a tagline that says, "I love the holidays."
By doing that, she knows you didn't read her profile - and that you're
really, really lazy!
So you went out with somebody and thought they were absolutely amazing. She
was the hottest, sexiest woman of the moment. So, how do you capitalize on
the success of a great first date?
Here are 10 sure-fire ways to get that second date:
1. Ask her out again at the end of the first date. Invite her to do
something she told you she finds exciting. For example, if she likes Mexican
food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to
bring her there Tuesday night. Set up that second date so she doesn't have
time to think about the first date, and so she has something to look forward
to.
2. Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message
that says "Had a great time last night...Looking forward to the next time."
Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.
3. Don't agree with everything she says. Challenge her mind. If you agree
with everything she says, she'll look at you as being weak. If she sees you
as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you, and you will no
longer get a second look or a second date. I'm not telling you to be
confrontational. I'm telling you to be open, honest and real.
4. Don't expect sex or force the issue of sex until it's right for both
parties. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no
rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential
partner. You're both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn't want to
have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she
wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision too!
When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults
and not like children.
5. Be positive and fun when you're out with her on a date. Don't bash your
ex. Don't complain about all the things that are wrong in your life. Spend
time getting to know each other's good sides.
6. Listen to your date. Question things that don't sound right. Have a two-
sided conversation instead of talking at her. Most men tend to want to
impress women with their accomplishments.
Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what's inside. So spend time
listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The
less you brag, the more interested she will be!
7. When out with your date, do not check out other women in front of her. Do
this, and you'll never get another date with her again.
8. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Don't tell her all night
long how beautiful she is, because she will start to think that you've never
before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you'll start to lose
your power.
9. Compliment her mind. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Bond
with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you
in ways that you've never experienced before!
10. Once you've secured the second date, and the second date is successful,
you need to set up an "activity date" for date number three -- take her to
the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk. Do things that
cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative,
not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get
monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different
dates.
What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and
hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you
stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the
right thing to do?
When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much
about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all
situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they
hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.
Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you
say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the
confidence you display when approaching her.
Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:
1.Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the
environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example,
if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly
natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to
comment on.
2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine
smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating
openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.
3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that
you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her,
walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show
her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down,
you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead
in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and
chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.
5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her
internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her
feel at ease with you.
6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you
approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good
about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn
to you. With practice, you can master this.
7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not
have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to
the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she
will lose interest fast.
8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you
are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will
feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your
movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that
communicate comfort and confidence.
9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful
tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to
start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something
like "I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let
her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your
friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact
same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.
10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes
a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly.
This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are
comfortable with yourself.
The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice!
Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all
together, you will be surprised at their power.
Throughout the years, men have always asked me, "How do I make that first
date as perfect as she expects it to be?"
I've come up with a checklist of some of my favorite first-date tactics that
will leave her glowing at the end of the night. In fact, these are so good,
she'll be texting or calling you within the next 24 hours expecting more of
the same!
1. It's OK to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She
dreads a potentially boring, four-course ordeal, too!
2. Always call her by early evening on Tuesday to confirm a Wednesday get
-together -- it's the polite thing to do and it lets her know you're already
thinking about her.
3. Be sure to leave both your home and work phone numbers. If you don't
leave your home number, she might assume you have a wife or girlfriend. If
you don't leave any number, she'll wonder what game you're playing.
4. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to
what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating
in high heels on a sunset beach walk.
5. Always listen to what she has to say, and make sure you wait until she
's done talking before responding.
6. Don't assume that just because you're out with a beautiful woman, she
knows how pretty she looks -- she wants to hear it from you. Don't go
overboard, though, or she might think you're insincere.
7. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with
them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth,
fresh breath, great shoes, cell phone turned off, and unchapped lips make
her more apt to lock lips with you that night.
8. Do not ask her, "So, what kind of music do you like?" The last 10 guys
asked that. Be original and instead fill your iPod with a great mix of
music that expresses your style.
9. Tip well. Believe me, she'll be watching.
10. Reading body language is simple: If she touches your arm, she's
interested. If she touches your leg, she's interested tonight. If she leans
away from you the whole night, she is not interested at all.
11. Very small gestures go a long way and show her you're a gentleman.
When you drop her off at her house, be sure to wait the extra 30 seconds
while she gets inside (and next time you might be going in with her!).
12. Women need momentum. Without it, they lose interest or wonder if you
have lost it, too. Follow up with a phone call the next night. Even more
important, ask her out at the end of the date. Don't play games or wait.
13. Never look at another woman when you are on a date. If she catches
your wandering eye, you are done.
Dating is a process a lot of us really can live without. It's an emotional
rollercoaster that can drive you to drink four year-old bottles of Mike's
Hard Lemonade from the back of your refrigerator.
Here's my list of the top ups and downs of dating -- and how to feel better
about them:
1. Stop the mental post-date recap abuse. You went out with somebody with
whom you thought you had a connection, and it turns out you didn't. So now
you're going to mentally torture yourself for the next four days trying to
figure out what you said wrong. You'll even torture all your friends asking
them what you could have done differently.
The post-date recap is a form of mental torture. You will never know what
that other person is thinking unless they call you. If they don't call, it
really does mean that he or she is just not that into you (which is about
the only good advice from that ridiculously stupid book).
2. We made out in the parking lot and they never called again. Making out is
fun! You needed it. They needed it. Don't beat yourself up that you did it,
just realize you did it. Be okay with it. It was a great date. You were in
the moment, and you experienced something that you wanted to do.
3. I texted them the next morning and said, "I had a great time last night,"
and they never texted back. So what? You had a great time last night. So
did they. They just woke up, and their post-date recap was different from
yours. They probably had a good time, but when they thought about it, the
chemistry and the "it" factor wasn't there. It's not about you. At least you
were honest. So you did all you can do.
4. Should I have said something different in my voicemail message? You left
a voicemail message and now you're replaying it in your head a thousand
times. "Should I have said 'Last night was fun' with more enthusiasm? Is
that why she's not calling me back?"
When it comes to voicemail messages, the shorter the better. From an old
sales technique, I always prefer to say, "Last night was fun. I have
something really funny to share with you the next time we speak." That's it
-- it creates a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of mystery and no
mental torture.
5. Who cares what they think? You left the above voicemail message without
knowing if you'll ever see them again, and they don't call you back. You
start to think, "Now they know that I like them, and they don't like me." So
what? Is it better to just sit there and hope and pray they call? I always
believe in being honest. You've got to do what feels right for you.
6. Stop giving your power away to one person. If a two-hour date can cause
you to give away all your power and confidence, then you need to learn to
embrace yourself and love yourself more. This is just one person you went
out with for two hours. They don't know what an amazing person you are. The
only thing they know is the person they sat across from at the table.
Whether they choose to hang with you again isn't the issue. The issue is
that one person does not determine your worthiness. You've got to toughen
your skin. Rejection is what dating is all about; you can't take it
personally. If I go out with someone and I have a great time but they never
want to see me again, I'm still a great person the next day.
7. In order to feel better about dating, you need to think abundance. Just
because you think you like somebody and they don't call you back, this is
not the last person in the world you're going to meet. In order to be a
successful dater, you need to practice abundance. The power of abundance is
training your mind to realize that if it doesn't work out with one person (
or 10 people), there are plenty of other people out there who do want to
hang out with a fantastic person like you.
Most men think there's a magic word they can say to get a woman to talk to
them. While there is no such "magic word," there are three keys to
communicating with a woman that work every single time.
This is not earth-shattering stuff. What I'm about to suggest to you is a
simple approach that has worked every single time I or one of my students
have used it.
Here are the three simple steps to communicating with a woman:
Step 1: Observe What She Is Doing. Take the example of a woman standing
behind you in line at the supermarket unloading her groceries. What is she
putting on the conveyor belt? If she's behind you in line at Starbucks, what
is she ordering? What is she eating? Notice everything she's doing. Let the
environment give you something to say. Most guys think of something to say
that's so random it makes absolutely no sense in a woman's mind. Women
actually make fun of these guys and say, "You won't believe what he actually
came over and said to me."
Step 2: Act on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the
observation, you need to open her up and evoke a feeling. For instance, if a
woman is ordering a double espresso, the thing to talk about is usually the
first thing that comes to your mind.
A typical guy might say, "Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no
answer. A man who is 100 percent present will look at her and say, "Rough
night last night?" or "Busy day ahead?" What you're trying to do is stay
inside her head and remain in her current thought process.
It's much easier to have a conversation based upon things she's already
experiencing. A woman will share something that's already going on in her
head.
Another example: you're standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously
texting someone while standing there by herself. You can walk over and make
an assumption like "Is your friend late?" This will in turn open up a
conversation based upon feelings and emotions
Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you emotionally. They
don't want to bond with you randomly. This leads us to Step 3.
Step 3: Listen to What She Has to Say. In order to have good conversation
and bond with a woman, you need to listen to what she says. If you listen to
her, you will know what to say next. It's called a conversation for a
reason.
A lot of men always think about what to say next, or they have a script in
their head about what to say next. That's not a conversation -- that's a bad
screenplay.
For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in
Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a
suitcase, obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway
. So what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her:
• Guys: "So where are you going?"
• Girl: "New Jersey."
Immediately one of them says, "New Jersey? I'm from Tampa."
That's not a conversation. That is a guy changing the subject to talk about
himself. He doesn't care about her right off the bat. The correct thing to
say in this situation is this:
• Guy: "Where in Jersey are you going?"
• Girl: "The shore for the weekend."
Now, in turn, the two guys can keep her present in her head about the
weekend and ask her about her trip.
• Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying there?"
If they listen and stop thinking about how to amuse her by telling her they'
re from Tampa, they'll actually connect with her and have a conversation
about the shore, vacations -- and who knows where the conversation might go.
Men complicate things for no reason. There are no magic lines that you can
say, but in reality if men just talked to women like they talk to their
closest friends, they would have amazing conversations. Men just need to
relax and listen to what women are saying.
Do this and you're going to have great conversations. It's that simple! Get
out of the house, observe, react and listen!
Most men think that they need a clever line to approach a woman. But through
all my years of coaching men and women, I have found that it is not what
you say that's important, but how you approach.
Most women put more importance on visual clues to assess a man's character.
They don't care what you say, as long as you say it without hesitation and
with authority. Unfortunately, most men don't know this, so they walk over
to a woman like a wounded animal expecting to be rejected. When you approach
like a wounded animal, you will be rejected every single time -- no matter
how clever a remark you may have.
With 80 percent of human interaction based on nonverbal body language, what
is a man to do? The key to impressing her right off the bat is to be
different from all the other men who are approaching her that evening.
Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing
, even if you are not sure what you are going to say:
1. Walk with confidence. When you see a woman that you are attracted to,
walk right over. Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence.
Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and
not slumped over. Keep eye contact as you approach. Do not hesitate. Most
men linger in the background before they approach, then, when you finally do
approach, she is quick to turn her back on you. The reason is that you did
not exude confidence. Most women notice who is observing them.
When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her, you might as well
go home.
2. Lose the male pack. When out on the town, avoid being seen with the
drunken testosterone pack of males. One of the biggest turn-offs for women
is the "male pack" -- you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other,
drinking and checking out other women. When you approach a woman with your
buddies waiting on the sideline, she will impulsively reject you in front of
the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. Break away from the male pack
and find one other guy to go out on the town with. Save the male bonding for
a sports bar.
3. Dress for a strong appearance. Make sure you're not sabotaging your
efforts with your attire. If you look like a slob, it will not matter what
your body language says, because you will look like every other man who put
no thought into what he was going to wear that night to attract women. Buy
clothing that makes you stand out from the rest of the men. Find a cool pair
of jeans and some great shirts that give you an edge, so when you walk in
with the right body language, women will see you. Keep in mind that shoes
are really important too, so find a few pairs that look great on you.
4. Create a spark within her. Most men's conversation will center on
being agreeable and non-confrontational in the hopes that she likes you. In
the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring! You need to spark her
interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into a
conversation about summer movies and she says that "Spiderman III" was her
favorite Spidey movie so far. Instead of being agreeable, look her right in
the eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong -- the first
Spiderman was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will
create a fun, friendly, flirtatious verbal sparring, which will create a
spark in her brain. She will realize that you are not a pushover like most
men and attraction will start to form in her head.
5. Maintain some tension.
Flirting with women is all about gathering information, so the better
listener you are, the better your chances. When you call her, you will have
more things to talk about. Before calling a woman, I think about everything
she said and then I pick the most juicy topic or opinion and challenge her
with it. For example, going back to the example of "Spiderman III," I would
text her the next day: "I was thinking U + I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R
so wrong. Name the time + place + I'll bring the DVD."
She will immediately respond to the challenge and text you back. You have
just learned the secret of re-creating the tension that you shared with her.
Plus, you are being totally unlike every other guy who waits three days to
call her and schedule a predictable dinner date.
Have you ever been out on a date with someone you really like, but you weren
't sure exactly how to let your date know that you're interested in him/her?
It can be hard to know how to express yourself around someone whom you don'
t know very well yet.
There are many ways to express yourself during a date. You could, for
instance, immediately try to kiss your date and attempt a long session of "
sucking face"... but that isn't wise. While it will certainly convey your
interest, it will probably give your date the wrong impression.
Clearly, then, there are better and worse ways to convey your interest to a
date (with the above example being one of the "worse" options). So let's
look at some more realistic (and better!) ways that you can let your date
know that you're interested.
Here are six simple ways to show your date you're interested:
1. Lean toward your date. Body language plays a huge role in what you
communicate to others. This is especially true on a date, where the person
you're with will be paying a lot of attention to your body language. So,
when you're on a date with someone who interests you, you need to let him/
her know it with your body language. One of the best ways is to lean in
towards your date. Lean in and smile. And when you're leaning in, look at
your date directly in his/her eyes.
2. Smile or laugh a bit when your date says something funny. While we all
know it's important to listen to what your date is saying during a
conversation, it's equally important to react to things that your date says
that resonate with you. For instance, when your date is saying something
funny, contribute to that part of the conversation. Keep the conversation
rolling when it's on something funny and don't change the subject.
3. When your date says something intriguing, comment on it. When your date
starts talking about a topic that is in an area of interest of yours,
respond with questions and get more involved in that topic. Say, for
instance you feel really passionate about an upcoming election and your date
says "Well, I really don't think I'm going to bother voting." You can
respond with something like "Wait a second. Why are you considering not
voting?" Then, let the conversation flow from there. Asking questions when a
date says something relating to an area of interest of yours is a great way
to get into a deeper conversation with your date while also showing
interest in what your date is saying.
4. Challenge your date a little bit. Gently challenging your date will lead
to a stimulating conversation. It shows your date you're interested and
engaged in the conversation, and that you're not just a puppet who just nods
and agrees with everything.
5. Keep your body language open at all times. Do not fold your arms. Do not
pick at your nails when you are telling a story or talking. Look at your
date directly in their eyes. Don't look in other directions. If you don't
keep eye contact, your date will not only think you lack interest, but that
you're looking at somebody else.
6. Bring your date "into your space." When you catch yourself leaning back,
lean forward towards your date. When you tell a story, be animated. Whenever
you talk to your date, use hand gestures and engaging body language. Face
your date and hold your in front of you. By doing all of this, you're
inviting your date into your personal area. Your date will notice this and
know you're interested.
So many things about a date are subliminal. You can listen, be a good
conversationalist, talk all day long, and get along easily with people.
Doing all of these things, however, may still not mean that someone with
whom you are out on a date will decipher you're level of interest. It's
necessary to clearly express your interest (so that your date will know you'
re not just being courteous).
If you struggle with knowing how to naturally and effectively show a date
that you're interested in him/her, then following these tips will really
help you to break through many of the challenges you've had in the past. You
will also be pleasantly surprised at how much differently those interesting
dates will act towards you!
Has rainy weather thrown a wrench in your date plans? Just because it's wet
outside, doesn't mean the movie theater is your only alternative. Whether
you're braving the outdoors or staying cozy at home, here are seven ideas
for planning a memorable rainy-day date.
Rock out. Get your blood pumping and work up an appetite by going indoor
rock climbing. Not only will you get a great workout, you'll also get to
work on those important relationship skills of trust and healthy competition.
Singin' in the rain. The best way to beat the rainy-day blues is by
listening to someone else sing them. Find a cozy jazz/blues club and melt
under the warm, soothing sounds.
Get cookin'. Plan a romantic dinner at home, but throw the standard three-
course meal out the window.
Start with some yummy soup and go straight to warm brownies and freshly
baked cookies.
Take a class. Spend a rainy day or night learning something new. Sign up for
an Italian cooking class, learn how to Samba or hone your painting skills.
Make memories. You know all those digital photos you've taken together over
the years? It's time to take them off the computer and put them into a
memory book or scrapbook. Spend time together picking out your favorite
photos, from your first date to the dinner party you went to last week.
Places like Target will let you upload your digital photos online and have
them ready for pick up within an hour. Light a fire, make some hot cocoa and
spend the evening on the living room floor cutting and pasting pictures and
other memorabilia from your relationship into your very own scrapbook.
Go under water. Stay warm and dry as you stroll through the homes of
creatures natural to wet environments. Spend the day looking at sharks,
stingrays and other underwater creatures at your local aquarium.
I get so many emails from men asking me this question: "How do I know if she
is attracted to me on date?"
This a great question, and knowing the answer will make going in for that
kiss become her idea and not yours. That's right, guys -- the first kiss has
to be her idea. She has to want it and desire it, and learning what her
body language is saying is key to the first kiss and knowing if she is
attracted to you.
When you are out on a date, sit across from her at a table, or if you are
about to sit in a booth, let her sit down first and see where she invites
you to sit. Some women will invite you to sit right down next to them in the
booth and some will not. If she invites you to sit down next to her, she is
telling you that she has an initial attraction to you.
Be a listener, not a talker
The first step to making the date a true success is to listen to what she is
saying. Pay attention to the details, and react to what she has to say.
That does not mean that you can't share a story or two about yourself, but
the best dates are the ones where you're in a listening and reacting mode
rather than a talking and bragging mode.
Of course, she wants to hear about who you are and what you are all about.
She does not want to hear you brag about how much money you have or how
successful you are. She also does not want to know about your negative
dating history.
She wants to know about what you have learned in life to this point.
She wants to see how positive a person you are, and she wants to imagine
being able to hang out with you.
There is a lot to learn about a first date. I really suggest you book one
hour of phone time with me to go over all of this. So if you desire to be
the guy who women want, then email me right now and let's book that hour.
How to read body language cues
Now what type of body language should you be looking for when you're sitting
across from her at that table?
Pay attention to her eyes. One sign of attraction is when her eyes are open
really wide, and her pupils are enlarged when you are talking or when she is
talking to you.
Another sign of attraction is that when you are speaking, she will lean her
body into you and literally be drawn in with your words. She will not get up
and go to the bathroom. She will sit there and not want to miss a single
second of the date:
• She will not look at her watch.
• She will not look around the room.
• She will be totally fixated on you the whole time.
• She will play with her hair and lick her lips before she moves
towards you, because she is creating a sexual feeling inside her.
• She will reach her hand across the table and glance at yours.
• She will touch your shoulder or another part of you very casually
.
• When she is speaking, she will touch her leg or her face,
imagining it was you who was touching her.
There are many others, but these are a few good ones to get you started.
Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a
subconscious level. She is not aware of what she is doing, and that is what
makes this so powerful.
One last thing: How do you know after all of this that she wants the kiss?
She wants the kiss if, when you walk her to the car, she lingers and keeps
talking and looking at you. What you do then is go in, move towards her lips
, and see what she does. Then pull to the side and give her a hug. This will
create tension. If she then talks more, look at her, touch her face and
move in for the kiss.
How many times have you been out and a hottie catches your eye? Instead of
approaching her, you sit there paralyzed, wondering what to do. Sure, you
could say "hello"... but then what? Time and time again you come up with
nothing and wind up alone, watching her leave.
This "self-sabotage" is easy to avoid with a simple, surefire technique I've
been teaching for years: Use "props" to strike up conversations with women,
and you'll never have a missed opportunity again.
Props are anything nearby you could use to start or maintain a conversation.
Here are five examples:
1. She has a great dog, so you pet the dog and a -
look for a suitable car
汽车在美国的重要性我早已深刻领会- 了，只不过之前琐事缠身，一直静不- 心来查看相关信息，眼看着身边的朋- 友都成了有车族，该是出手的时候了-
还记得，去年冬天每周买菜的惨状。- 为不想麻烦别人，每周就坐公交去附- 的Meijer买些便宜的蔬菜和肉类，每次- 回来时，都是身后背着，两手拎着，- 场面真是壮观。车上很少有人象我这- ，不过也无所谓了，谁叫我没车呢。- 最难忘的一次是，由于周末football 比赛，公交车改道，我们去前没意识- ，回来时可惨了，我拿着袋25P的米穿- 在校园附近，当时比赛已结束，多数- 当地观众都在附近返家，当时感觉挺- 堪的，后来想想也没什么，美国这边- 好些，况且没人认识我们，他们也不- 在乎，只是中国人自身的阿Q精神作怪- 已。
没下雪时外出买菜还好些，不过Michigan- 的冬天是漫长的而且雪多，如果在这- 去买，就很难受了，于是后来找到了- 会的justin隔两周带我去一次Meijer, 这样就省事和省时间多了，也不用再- 严寒之苦。总之每次回来冰箱里都塞- 满满的，真是尝进了其中的心酸与苦- 楚。
春季学期结束后，有机会把笔考过了- 虽然结果有些悬（正好过了及格标准- 错10道选择）。之后就是漫长得准备f- irst committee meeting的时间和试验阶段了，期间虽然- 在关注车信息，不过只是零零散散，- 没有心思去做，于是就一拖再拖。
今天搜到一款2002 Honda Civic （$7,999）的车，与其他同类型的车相- ，算是质优价廉吧，虽然有些不喜欢- 的绿色颜色。再看到它的carfax report后，有些放心了，之前看到只有- 个owner, 也没有过交通事故记录。相比另一款20- 02 Mitsubishi Galant ES （$6,495 ）强多了，它有过3个主人，还出过重- 事故，看来carfax report还挺重要，这里要谢谢Nicky Chao，免费快捷得通过VIN号帮我查了相- 信息。
当然我不会一时头热，毕竟这是一个- 大抉择，它将会花费我将近一年的积- ，我会再收到Blair的信息后再作出最- 决定的。
我感觉拥有一部车已是眼前的事了。 -
APS transporation arranged
从Jesse那得知有车可乘后，我就没有再- 想着订往返的火车票了，毕竟要花170- 107刀呀。另外我可想着省钱买车呢。- 是这周五我去Sundin实验室去找techinian- Gail询问具体情况，她很热心，告诉我- 在只剩一个座位，如果Jesse不要，我- 可以和他们走，而且不用付油钱。得- 知这个消息后我很高兴，碰巧的是，- 遇到了Jesse,和他聊后，知道他不会跟- 走的，因为他想有个旅行，同时要照- 顾他的猫。我下我可松了口气，又省- 170刀。下周我就会把这个消息告诉Geil- ,这样我就不用担心交通问题了。
至于返程，由于我打算在明州呆个周- ，我就想订张返程火车票（最终91刀- 和Lina 一起返回，毕竟我允诺和她一起走的- 周六和Univ. of Minnesota 的香港同学Adrain 打了个电话，告诉了自己的打算和那- 的住宿问题，没想到他说可以住他那- 这下另一个问题解决了，终于我可以- 高枕无忧的买票了。
对了，APS 会议是从June 26 至30号，我的返程票是August 3的，这样会后我有3天的时间呆在那。- 毕竟出去一次不容易，把握机会给自- 一个短暂的假期不是挺好吗？
今天周日（June 15)是Father's day,想着可能买东西会有discount，就订- 了，下来花了不到91刀，主要是自己- 的是studnet advantage ticket。至于优惠，不象中国，只要有- 生证就行，我会了33刀买了张student advantage card，可以使2年。希望以后出去都有机- 会搭乘火车，这样才不至于亏本呀。 -
new proceeding of my first committee meeting
As for my committee meeting, so far everything is going well. I got the revision of my literature review from Sheila. She is very careful and has a sharp eye. I can't imagine she can tell where there is lack of a space between two words. It helped me a lot. My advisor felt surprised with my well-done first draft of the literature review. I can understand it. After all, I am an international student and did not pass the first exam since I came here. I know I improved a lot in my English. However, I still feel uncomfortable in the class and conversation. It still has a long way to go before I can handle it freely. Now I work hard on it and hope the day will come to me earlier than expectation.
Get down to business, I contacted my other three committee member. Up to now I got positve reply from Jay and Linda that they would like to sever as my committee. Both of them offered some good advice on my project objective. I really appreciated it. Although I did not talk about it with Ray, another committee, I will make an appointment next week for a brief meeting. It is not a problem to convince him as my committee because he is getting along well with my advisor. It is just a matter of time. I plan to tell my advisor about the meetings I had on Sunday and talked about the time of the first committee meeting. I hope I can finish it as soon as possible.
Now I need to work on a presentation that I will give on the first committee meeting. Good luck to me. -
weekly report
I spent a busy week to work on my project and literature review. Everyday It took me the whole day to finish my scheduled experiments and then I still have to stay at the lab to write my review. Just on Friday I kind of finish my review and objective. Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to talk about it and just ended up with my greenhouse trials. They are important to me. I hope they can get hers approval, then I will definitely contact my committee members to set a separate appointment for my project. It is the time to make it. I think it is a reward for my hard work to get 800 dollars' fund to attend APS meeting. I felt so excited when I got the news on Friday because I didn't think I can get so much money from my department. I am rich again. Cheers.
With the weather getting warm, I began jogging from this week. It was great. After a busy day, I can run around Spartan Village to have a relax. Maybe it is a different way for it. However, I like it. It will make me look younger, healthy, and strong. I promise I will insist on doing it because the summer holiday is here and I don't need to worry about my classes. Anyway, I can spare more time on the exercise since now. It is so cool. I have made a decision for my exercise plan. I will keep running from Sunday to Thursday and doing exercise in the gym on Friday and Saturday becasue I usually felt so tired after too much exercise in the gym that I can't fall asleep. Probably you think it is weird. It is totally true for me. I don't know why.
By the way, I want to keep writing my blog every week. I don't want to find any excuses not to work on it. It is necessary to record my life and study here in the spare time although it seems similar and repeated for every day. I will find out the difference and write my experience and thought. It is my own stage and I should keep moving forward. I promise I will. -
fall in love with Ge
Last several days I stayed with Ge for a while every day. I found she is kind, pretty and ready to help other people. We sometimes happened to touch each other and both of us felt comfortable about it. It seems that she also like to stay with me. We have gone shopping twice recently. At that time she was patient with my stuff and happy to try something for me.
On Saturday afternoon we gathered together watching a love moive about two young guys. I hope that she could understand my current situation a little through the story because i think we have something in common with the roles in the movie. After that I expressed my crush on her and said whether she would like to accept me as her boyfriend after a long-time consideration. She seems a little embrassed with it based on our futher and did not see me face to face. Indeed she will graduate this winter and has to find a job off the campus. Then we have to separate from each other and maybe something else would happen following our separation. I agreed to give her some time to think about it. I think what I did is right and I need to grasp the chance to speak out my love. I don't want to regret missing the opportunity and falling behind other guys. I am positive about it because i know she like me a little. That is the key point.
Besides, she will return to China on this coming Monday and stay home for about two months. It is a long time that I will not see her. It is a good time to let her consider it. She also told me to talk with her mom to get her final decision. I am confident of myself and will become her boyfriend. God bless me.
