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onepilot

male - 43 years, Manchester, United Kingdom
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Blog 14


  • Time for an update...

    Well it's been a long, long time since I've been on Netlog...

    Lots and lots have happened since my last update.
    Moved from Manchester to Derbyshire and now due to work I am spending a lot of my time in Guernsey.

    I finally made the break from my main job and ventured the career change I'd been working to.
    It was a hard and risky decision to give up a secure job I had been doing for 14 years to pursue a new career in a volatile and struggling industry. It took me a year but I did it..

    I invested in an aircraft type rating, spent the next 12 months doing little bits of flying self employed, then got the break I was waiting for.

    I'm now working for an airline doing what I have wanted to do for a long time. Most of the time I am loving it but it does get a little lonely being away from home and my family.
    I can get back home but it's usually once a fortnight. It makes it more tough at times when my family need me like now..

    Relationship wise all has changed too.. I'll go into that another time..

    Living the dream!!!!

  • A single Christmas

    Well here it is.. Christmas that is.. Well a couple of days away anyway.

    I'm lying in bed pondering the year I've had and where I go from here.. I should be up and at work but I'm sure they won't mind me being an hour late or so.

    Christmas last year was a very different affair to the one I will have this year.
    I was spending most of my time in Wales with my ex partner, doing all the Christmas shopping for presents with her and looking really looking forward to spending time with her and my family.
    Well as I've put in previous blogs, we split up around June this year and I went through a pretty rough time getting over it but nature took it's course and I got over it and have spent the last few months in a relatively happy state of mind. All of a sudden today it's hit me.. I'll spend this Christmas on my own. Oh I'll see my children for a little while and enjoy that time with them but the rest of Christmas I'll be on my own.. I'll have my friends around me to some of the time but I'll still be on my own because that special person is no longer with me.

    This is just a blip I'm sure and I bet most people who have become single after a relatively long relationship have been through the same at this time of year.
    Should I be lying here feeling sorry for myself? I have a good relatively secure career, great friends and a fantastic family. I'm probably in a better position that a lot of people at the moment so, no I shouldn't be here feeling sorry for myself.. I'm alone for Christmas, that's all.. I've got my health.. I just don't have my ex so I need to get things in perspective.. lol... I feel better already.

    I've done all the present shopping on my own anyway so it proves I don't need to rely on anyone- not bad for a bloke.
    Ok, the presents are all still sat here unwrapped and I'll have to deal with that issue tonight; that will be a struggle and something I could really do with having the support of a lady. Men simply can't wrap presents. haha

    Oh well, off to work..

    Oh well a fantastic New Year starts in just over a week..
    I'll make sure it's my year!!

  • Bank holiday..

    Well it's the August bank holiday weekend, summer is rapidly leaving us behind, the nights are drawing in.. It's also "her" birthday today.. Why did that just come in to my head? Oh well..

    What's going on in my life then..
    I'm getting happier by the day although today (see above for reason) has put me on the slightest of downers. I can't complain though as there are people out there going through far worse than I ever have.

    I have a good job currently, a great new career to move into shortly and a great set of friends and family.
    I just need to keep telling myself that when I am feeling on a bit of a low like today.

    Well work this morning then off to watch Man United v Arsenal this afternoon, then out for a few drinks with friends, seeing my gorgeous kids tomorrow and then A day of flights on Monday..
    A fun packed weekend so I better stop being down, get showered and take the weekend by the horns!!!

    :)

  • Time the healer..

    Well it's approaching three months since I came back in here at the beginning of june after my ex splitme.... again........ for the second time....

    It's tuesday lunch time and I'm sat at my desk trying to work out exactly how I feel now this far on..

    Life is good, I'm lucky to have a good job and moving into a brand new career shortly, my kids are happy and well, as is the rest of my family. I don't have any major fiancial worries.. So with all these and such a positive future, why don't I feel like I am the happiest man alive?

    I don't think about my ex half as much now but still get the little reminders when I see certain things or hear certain tunes etc but inside I think I'm nearly there. Maybe the 1st of September (which will be three months) will be the time I'm back on track.. Who knows but no doubt I'll write it down.

    I've kept myself busy with work, my flying career and some trips away.. In fact I went on a trip to Paris last week. Probably not the best of places to go considering it's a romance city and everyone was part of a couple but the flight's were at good times and priced right. I still enjoyed it..

    Well after reading back through my other blogs since I came back I think I can honestly say I've healed a lot since the 1st of June and although I am still having the occasional down moment, I really will be looking back soon and thinking life is now good..

  • Mondays..........

    Don't you just hate Mondays?

    After all the cr$p I've had, I really had a good weekend for once; spent quality time with the kids and friends and hardly even thought about "she who shall remain nameless".. And then Monday comes along with a bang! Back at work, with a fantastic hangover - yes I shouldn't play out on a school night, I know!

    On a positive note, I think I'm feeling down primarily because it's Monday now and far less because of the split etc.. :)

    I've got something to look forward to at the end of the week also as I've treated myself to a trip to Paris for a few days - yes a romantic location but the only reason was because the flight times were the best out of the locations I chose..

    Back to work..... :)

  • Berlin and after..

    Well Berlin was fantastic...

    A great trip with a great bunch of lads and no stag do controversy..
    It took me a good few days to recover though to be honest as I'm definitely outgrowing that sort of trip.
    I can't do the all day drinking that goes on and even though I waited until a respectable late afternoon before I joined in the festivities, I was still wrecked for a good two days when I got home.

    Berlin as a city is wonderful and we did get around and saw some great sites.. I'd thoroughly recommend it ..

    As has happened in the past, I seem to forget all my problems while I am busy and away but when I come back I hit reality with a bang and realise I am still a little down over my split etc.

    It's taking longer than expected to get back on my feet too which is frustrating.. I can't want for the day I wake up and don't even think about my break up.. I haven't heard anything for weeks now so I'm obviously a far distant memory so I just wish I could feel the same.

    Well I've decided another trip of a less hectic nature is needed so I'm off to France for a few days next week to cheer myself up...

    No doubt I'll write another few sentences when I'm on the downside of that trip too.. lol

    Why do I write this on a public forum I ask myself.. Well it's a way of looking back few my text and slowly seeing the improvement in my mood and feeling and I think it will spur me on even more.

    :)

  • On the up...

    Well it's been a good few weeks with no contact now and as a result I'm starting to think about things relating to my split far less - although I am obviously this morning to spark off this blog.
    I've had some really fun packed and busy weekends recently which have also been good for me.
    This weekend will be no exception, a trip to Berlin with the lads - flying out Friday and back Sunday night.
    I certainly won't have any upsetting thoughts on my mind for the weekend.

    I seriously think I'm on the up.......
    A few more weeks and I'll be wondering why I ever let it upset me..

    :)

  • closure..

    One of the hardest things about getting over a breakup is the future unknown.
    If you've been the one dumped then you always hold on to the hope that maybe she'll/he'll change their mind and come back.. It stops you moving forward as you stay in a sort of limbo state, waiting to see if the next text message or email is from them.

    I've been in that state for a few weeks since my ex left this time (second time), and lthough it wasn't as painful second time around (lol) I have still had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and was classically hoping one text would be from her.

    I've heard from her today about a non relationship issue and she made it clear (although not wanting to rub my nose in it I am sure) than she'd moved on and was now happy with a new partner.

    Well that's closure isn't it.. I've definitely got to move on now and to stop pondering and wondering. I suppose it was what I need to get me out of the way I have been feeling. I've got to make a new future for me and I will do..

    I've done it before and I'll do it again and each time I'll keep learning...

  • Words are cheap part two...

    I've copied below a blog that I wrote in 2007, just after I'd split with my partner the first time..
    I was obviously going through a tough time, thankfully it's not been half as tough this time although admittedly I still feel sad about it..

    I stand by a lot of what I wrote there and I do feel I made some significant changes in my life but I also feel that maybe I still had a lot to sort out. Is that the reason why I am in the same situation for a second time?

    Maybe not, maybe I should have listened to the statement at the end of the blog "Words are cheap....."
    I'm starting to feel that where she is concerned, words really are cheap. I filled another two year gap for her at the most and her words really were cheap...

    --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
    October 11th 2007
    I'm going through a tough old time at the moment.. Some of it through my own actions and some of it not.

    My relationship ended a while back and it was only afterwards that I realised what I'd actually lost. My best friend, partner and soul mate; all three gone in one go. It's even more painful to go through a breakup when you realise you are pretty much to blame for it. Too much complacency, and lack of showing commitment (which was actually there) were all too much for her in the end, and the woman who had been totally devoted to me said enough was enough.

    There is good that has come out of this. The pain I felt (and still feel) has made me take a good look at myself and to ensure I've learnt lessons from the mistakes I have made.
    I can't change the past, I can only make sure the same isn't repeated in the future, and believe me I will.

    They say things come in threes; well number two has just turned up while I am dealing with number one.

    I lost touch with my dad some time ago and recently my sisters and I decided we should visit him, and try and make us a family again. My mum had been arranging contact for us and had found his brother.
    Cheerfully she phoned me (during a meeting) yesterday to say she was going to ring his brother and would let me know where he was and when we could go to see him.
    Two minutes later she rang back in tears saying my dad was dead.. The shock was immediate but I had to continue my meeting.
    Afterwards the realisation set in that I'd left it too late to say the things I wanted to say; the chance to clear the air and to bring my dad back into our lives had gone.

    I have had some good friends around me throughout the breakup and they are here for me through this new painful time but......

    My ex had said she would want to remain friends after the breakup and that I would always be special in her life; she recently told a friend of mine that she still loves me even though there was no future.
    She had been there in recent months when we were trying to arrange contact with my dad so was aware of the situation..
    As a result I thought it would only be fair to let her know the news and secretly, I wanted the friend in her to come to help me..

    Not a single response.... Nothing..

    Words are cheap, anyone can say them. It's the people who back those words up with actions who are the real treasures in our lives....

    Life is too short to leave things unresolved..

  • Words are cheap part two...

    I've copied below a blog that I wrote in 2007, just after I'd split with my partner the first time..
    I was obviously going through a tough time, thankfully it's not been half as tough this time although admittedly I still feel sad about it..

    I stand by a lot of what I wrote there and I do feel I made some significant changes in my life but I also feel that maybe I still had a lot to sort out. Is that the reason why I am in the same situation for a second time?

    Maybe not, maybe I should have listened to the statement at the end of the blog "Words are cheap....."
    I'm starting to feel that where she is concerned, words really are cheap. I filled another two year gap for her at the most and her words really were cheap...

    --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
    October 11th 2007
    I'm going through a tough old time at the moment.. Some of it through my own actions and some of it not.

    My relationship ended a while back and it was only afterwards that I realised what I'd actually lost. My best friend, partner and soul mate; all three gone in one go. It's even more painful to go through a breakup when you realise you are pretty much to blame for it. Too much complacency, and lack of showing commitment (which was actually there) were all too much for her in the end, and the woman who had been totally devoted to me said enough was enough.

    There is good that has come out of this. The pain I felt (and still feel) has made me take a good look at myself and to ensure I've learnt lessons from the mistakes I have made.
    I can't change the past, I can only make sure the same isn't repeated in the future, and believe me I will.

    They say things come in threes; well number two has just turned up while I am dealing with number one.

    I lost touch with my dad some time ago and recently my sisters and I decided we should visit him, and try and make us a family again. My mum had been arranging contact for us and had found his brother.
    Cheerfully she phoned me (during a meeting) yesterday to say she was going to ring his brother and would let me know where he was and when we could go to see him.
    Two minutes later she rang back in tears saying my dad was dead.. The shock was immediate but I had to continue my meeting.
    Afterwards the realisation set in that I'd left it too late to say the things I wanted to say; the chance to clear the air and to bring my dad back into our lives had gone.

    I have had some good friends around me throughout the breakup and they are here for me through this new painful time but......

    My ex had said she would want to remain friends after the breakup and that I would always be special in her life; she recently told a friend of mine that she still loves me even though there was no future.
    She had been there in recent months when we were trying to arrange contact with my dad so was aware of the situation..
    As a result I thought it would only be fair to let her know the news and secretly, I wanted the friend in her to come to help me..

    Not a single response.... Nothing..

    Words are cheap, anyone can say them. It's the people who back those words up with actions who are the real treasures in our lives....

    Life is too short to leave things unresolved..

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