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  • Kenya: End Cabinet Stalemate, Says Envoy

    The Rwandese ambassador to Kenya has called for a quick resolution of the Cabinet stalemate.

    "Kenya can solve this problem. What happened should never be allowed again," Mr George Kayonga said.

    Speaking when announcing the 14th commemoration of the Rwanda genocide to be marked on Wednesday, Kayonga expressed concern over loss of life in post-election violence.

    "We commemorate for the 14th time the Rwanda genocide today by striving to eradicate its ideology, caring for survivors and promoting progress and development," Kayonga said.

    The envoy said the loss of life was not comparable to the economic loss.

    He told the leaders to be cautious in the way they handle the Cabinet stalemate.

  • Revealed: Wrangles Inside the ODM Camp

    Tempers flared yesterday even as the ODM group held its meeting behind closed doors to cut out a response message to what was viewed as a slap in the face by Amb. Muthaura's announcement. It has been revealed that many "junior" MPs are secretly displeased with what they consider to be a falling away situation. These MPs feelt that they have been ignored while the rank and file keep on getting the best of the deal.

    Chief amongst the complaints that took center stage is the fact that Sec. General, Prof. Anyang' Nyong'o, MP for Kisumu Rural, seems to be hogging the microphone and the limelight always insisting on reading the press conference. "Why should he be the only one reading? Some of us are learned as well, let us share this cake equally" Prof. Olweny, MP for Muhoroni questioned even as others nodded their heads in agreement. Seeing that this could lead to a disturbance of sorts, Raila moved in fast to quell the storm and managed to broker a deal where Dr. Anangwe, from the Luhya community, would go ahead to read the statement, thus killing the already growing perception among MPs that only elite Luo MPs were enjoying power.

    After solving that issue, MPs moved on to deal with the Amb. Muthaura announcement. Raila was very silent as he let others talk. MPs from the Rift Valley area were very pointed in their denounciation of the deal. Many felt that their community would be served a raw deal, even after bringing in the Lion's share of the votes for ODM. "We know the Captain is tied to his promise of making the deputy captain his vice president [alluding to Hon. Musalia Mudavadi] but we feel that Ruto should take over the deputy premiership since he delivered" said nominated MP Musa Sirma. It was then that MPs allied to Raila, especially his older brother, moved in to forcefully say that rules are rules and ODM should be respected by Kenyans for following them.

    It was evident that a growing clique of MPs is growing resentful over this whole power sharing deal saying that it is going to benefit only a few of them. Kaddu Chairman, Hon. Cyrus Jirongo was adamant that the positioning of Hon. Mudavadi as the deputy prime minister should not make it impossible for western MPs like himself to lose out on ministerial appointments, seeing that he steered his party into a coalition with ODM.

    Matters came to a head when nominated MP and member of the pentagon Norman Nyaga tried to argue that MPs should be patient and all would well. He was shouted down and booed while being reminded that he was not even able to deliver Gachoka while he well knew he was a pentagon!. It was then that Raila moved in once again to tell MPs that they were in the deal to stay. He said that ODM is made of honorable people and that they should be proud of that "nilisema sisi ni chama ya wangwana. Hebu tusiharibu hio maneno. The whole world is watching us, and our fellow kenyans are waiting for us to deliver. This is unstoppable, and those who feel different should know that this cannot be stopped!" the leader thundered!

    It was then that the meeting was summarily brought to a stop. Efforts by Starehe MP Hon. Margaret Wanjiru to end the meeting with a word of prayer were thrawted as Hon. Ruto and others signaled that they were getting impatient and wanted to leave at once. "Tutaomba nyumbani" Kosgey said as they made for the door.

  • Kenyans 'forcibly recruited to fight'

    A Kenyan (who wishes to remain anonymous) in the Rift Valley town of Naivasha describes how members of an outlawed sect - the Mungiki - are forcibly recruiting members of their Kikuyu ethnic group to kill non-Kikuyus - allied to the opposition. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7215107.stm

    Law and order has broken down in the Rift Valley area since the disputed 27 December presidential election. Kenyan politics is polarised and because of this, when a community feels threatened, groupings or gangs arise in their defence.

    It is really disgusting. People are being killed and burnt in their houses, even one person was buried alive... buried alive?

    And other people are just watching.

    There are gangs of Kikuyu coming knocking from door-to-door. But I really don't think they are from Naivasha - people know that Naivasha is usually a safe place, a place where people like peace.

    But these people are coming and forcing people here to fight. So that's why they are going house-to-house making sure that if you are a Kikuyu, you have to come out and fight.

    If you are not a Kikuyu, they just kill you immediately.

    Not long ago they came into our estate and demanded the keys to the gate.

    They used a petrol bomb to frighten us, telling us if we don't come out, they'll burn us.

    Shooting, shooting, shooting

    Luckily, I managed to hide under the bed.

    Where they are targeting right now is Naivasha prison.

    Groups of Kikuyu groups roam the streets of a neighborhood of Naivasha as fires burn
    Homes belonging to Luos are being ransacked and set alight

    The Kikuyus are going to the prison and they want to get the Luos and the Namdis who have gone there to seek refuge.

    Gangs of Kikuyus are outside the prison and burning houses nearby but the police - there are many of them there - but it is like they are relaxed.

    They are not doing anything, just shooting, shooting, shooting [up in the air] but not stopping these people from getting closer to the prison.

    These Kikuyus that are doing all this - it is a kind of revenge.

    In Naivasha it is revenge for what has been happening in other areas where Kikuyus have been killed.

  • Private firms must play role in ensuring peace deal’s reac

    The Kenya Private Sector Alliance (Kepsa) carried the hopes of many Kenyans when they decided to play an active role in encouraging a deal between the Government and the Opposition, ODM.

    What they didn’t realise is that their role was not to be a one off. We had very visible high level meetings and since then, it has been all quiet.

    The private sector has always taken a bystander role and viewed politics as too dirty to indulge in. The private sector has even at times insinuated that Kenya’s economy is unaffected by the political happenings in the country. Reality only dawned on us after the disputed election results of December 27, 2007.

    Leader after leader has been visiting Kenya, among them the US Secretary of State, Dr Condoleezza Rice. The likes of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who are world renowned, left without achieving anything. The then Head of African Union and the President of Ghana was said to have passed by for a cup of tea. Our own Noble laureate (Wangari Maathai) has not been able to achieve much, even though she has been a lone voice of reason

    Our current Constitution is indeed the cause of the problem and the Bomas draft would have sorted us out had we adopted it.

    In tourism, we talk about our source markets of Europe and North America lifting or reviewing their advisory, but we are not playing our active role to pressure the two parties to agree on something and spare us another round of skirmishes. It will only take half a day of skirmish and killings for fresh advisories to be put in place.

    All along, it has been acknowledged that a political solution was the only way forward. However, some PNU hardliners now seem to be moving away from it. At this rate, the peace talks could be at a risk.

    Kepsa cannot afford to be silent on the latest development. So what are the probable scenarios:

    ODM takes its role as the opposition and waits for Parliament to resume and fight their case there. This would have been the wish of many Kenyans, including tourism players, but it is highly unlikely.

    ODM takes its battle back to the streets and the Government ignores them and they tire out? This is also highly unlikely.

    ODM goes to the streets and the Government brutally deals with them, resulting in increasing incidents of violence? This is the most probable outcome.

    If the third scenario happens where does that leave us? More advisories, more cancellations. We may end up with evacuations by some of the Western nations as they have clearly indicated that it will not be business as usual. I pray hard that does not come to pass.

    As the private sector, we need to ask ourselves if indeed we are playing our role as required. It is evident that the current calm we are enjoying has deceived many that all is well and it is indeed back to normalcy.

    Kepsa should not wait and wish that a deal will just come on its own. We have to make it happen without any fear or favour.

    If we choose to remain silent and we end up with a fresh flare up of chaos, then history will judge us harshly.

    The church groups a couple of days ago admitted that they were indeed partisan. How come since then we haven’t seen them come up and give a middle ground approach to compel the two warring groups to agree.

    I am not a doomsday proponent but if the current talks fail, then we should brace ourselves for the worst as the power of brutal force will not stop people who yearn for change.

    MOHAMMED HERSI
    Chairman, Kenya Association of Hotelkeepers and Caterers
    Coast

  • KIBAKI, RAILA, NGILU, KARUA: joke about kenyan politics

    :) :) :) :) :)

    Raila, Kibaki, Ngilu and Martha Karua are traveling in a train.

    The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Ngilu and Raila are sitting there looking perplexed. Kibaki is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

    All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

    Ngilu is thinking: "These men are all crazy after Martha Karua. Kibaki must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."

    Martha Karua is thinking: "kibaki must have moved to kiss me,and kissed Ngilu instead and got slapped."

    Kibaki is thinking: "Damn it, Raila must have tried to kiss Martha Karua, she thought it was me and slapped me."

    Raila is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Kibaki again."

    :) :) :) :) :) laughing matter :)

  • WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    THIS IS WHAT I CALL CITIZEN JOURNALISM---WHEN KENYANS HAVE THEIR SAY ON WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THEIR LEADERS...THIS ONE FROM A PAL OF MINE IT STUDENT AT JKUAT ANTHONY MOGALLES (neither Spaniad, nor Italian)

    :) :)
    n
    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    * KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

    * PLATO: For the greater good.

    * ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

    * KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

    * SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    * RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

    * CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    * MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: ... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

    * MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

    * JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

    * FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    * GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    * OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

    * DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

    * EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

    * BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

    * ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

    * RAY MACAULEY: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it, "the other side. "Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

    * NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

    * THABO MBEKI: We need to establish if really there is a connection between the chicken and the road.

    * ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform.
    We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them.

    * ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion

    * MOHAMMED ALDOURI: ( Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

    * RAILA ODINGA: Had the chicken signed an MOU not to cross the road?

    *MWAI EMILIO KIBAKI: Kuku ilivuka pale ikienda pale pale!
    :) :)
    i thot that was funny bana, and quite creative, i had never known that such a simple idea could generate real intriguing article!!! :)