ommotto
male - 28 years
Blog 38
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Of men, donkeys and dogs...our kind
>
>God created the donkey
>
>and said to him.
>"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to
sunset
>carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
>you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
>
>The donkey answered:
>"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20
>years"
>God granted his wish.
>.................................................- .......................
>.................
>
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>God created the dog
>
>and said to him:
>"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
>You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
>You will be a dog. "
>
>The dog answered:
>"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
>" God granted his wish.
>.................................................- .......................
>................
>
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>God created the monkey
>
>and said to him:
>"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing
>tricks.
>You will be amusing and you will live
>
>20 years. "
>
>The monkey answered:
>"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
>God granted his wish.
>.................................................- .......................
>.................
>
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>Finally God created man ...
>and said to him:
>"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
>You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
>You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
>
>
>Man responded:
>"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
>
>20 years is very little,
>give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
>the 15 years that the dog did not want and
>the 10 years the monkey refused.
>" God granted man's wish
>.................................................- .......................
>.................
>
>
>And since then, man lives
>
>20 years as a man ,
>
>
>marries and spends
>
>30 years like a donkey,
>working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
>
>Then when his children are grown,
>he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
>and eating whatever is given to him,
>
>so that when he is old,
>he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
>going from house to house and from one son or
>daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
>
>
>That's Life
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True
True
-------------------------
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket
I just love the following .....
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
Ain't it the truth!! -
SCARY HOW WITTY NIGERIANS HAVE BECOME!
SCARY HOW WITTY NIGERIANS HAVE BECOME!
A family in Nigeria was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA, sent by
their sister. The tiny corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:-
"Dearest brodas and sistos, I am sending you our moda's remains for burial de in Lagos. Sorry I
couldn't come along as tha expenses were so high. You will find inside de coffin, unda mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just share it among yourselves.
On Mama's head for Tunde's son is a woolen baseball cap, Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts one is for Omo Roy and de rest are my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bra (your favorite) just divide it among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties dat Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.
Underneath mama's body is 20 kgs of cocaine in sachets, which is worth 120 million Naira.
This should take care of all of you and the unborn babies in your bodies. Don't bury her with all this fortune.
Mama is also wearing eight Docker pants - Ikeje, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Ifoma, mama is wearing what you asked for ie earrings, ring and necklace - please just get dem.
Also, the six pairs of Chanel stockings that mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls de I hope they like the color".
Yours loving sister, Nene
PS: plse take care of finding a dress for her burial since all I had dressed her in were your presents.
Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles.
IF U STILL LOOK GLOOMY AFTER READING THIS THEN U MIGHT RETHINK ABOUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR BANA
HAVE A GOOD DAY
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
THIS IS WHAT I CALL CITIZEN JOURNALISM---WHEN KENYANS HAVE THEIR SAY ON WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THEIR LEADERS...THIS ONE FROM A PAL OF MINE IT STUDENT AT JKUAT ANTHONY MOGALLES (neither Spaniad, nor Italian)
n
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
* KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
* PLATO: For the greater good.
* ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
* KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
* SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
* RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
* CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
* MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: ... I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.
* MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
* JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
* FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
* GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
* OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
* DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
* EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
* BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
* ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
* RAY MACAULEY: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it, "the other side. "Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
* NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.
* THABO MBEKI: We need to establish if really there is a connection between the chicken and the road.
* ROBERT MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform.
We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them.
* ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion
* MOHAMMED ALDOURI: ( Iraq Ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
* RAILA ODINGA: Had the chicken signed an MOU not to cross the road?
*MWAI EMILIO KIBAKI: Kuku ilivuka pale ikienda pale pale!
i thot that was funny bana, and quite creative, i had never known that such a simple idea could generate real intriguing article!!! -
THE NAIROBI STAR, another headless snake
KISS 100 and Classic 105 have spent the last month hyping up the launch of their sister paper, the Nairobi Star.
So they claimed the paper would offer content unrivaled by The Nation and Standard Groups. Yet what i saw on the streets today is a total continuation of the status quo.
We have always complained that the media is selling big time in the market of sensationalism and vulgarism in order to hit high sells. Yet the Star promised us "real stories about us", they lied it would be a magazine in the body of a newspaper but what they offered was a tabloid not any different from Standard.
This is a headless snake that boasts to have changed our life for the better. In fact i now think the claim that they have a circulation of 50, 000 copies is all marketing gimmick. Where on earth can a newly launched paper still uncertain of market reaction be so bold to publish beyond the mainstream dailies (NATION- 250, 000 and STANDARD - 70, 000)???? some of these guys are now 50 years old in the newspaper industry for them to reach where they are.
With stories about Kamlesh Pattni, Enoch Kibunguchy etc arent thses the same politicians we read about in the other daillies. Surely, Media Africa and its MD Patrick Quarckoo can believe that a lie once repeated can be christened as the truth!
My verdict is that THE NAIROBI STAR is daily edition of Pulse Magazine, True Love, Eve, Drum etc courted with glossy graphix and sexist headlines.....this is not the kind of revolution we have been waiting for....Kenyans know better lets see what happens once the euphoria fades away... just like its predessesors PULSE we will get used to the rumours and gossips of the high and mighty...
I rest my case -
kenyan MEDIA IS GUILTY FOR ONCE
although i believe in press freedom and right of
media to self regulate itself.... i also belive that
the public should have right to question media on
its excesses or even media excerise restraint for public good.
in light of WWF wrestling a program which media research has
rated as one of most popular shows on KBC and now STV as well.
being a show that attracts children mostly,
the media should show
some form of responsibility by banning such violent content on its
programming or EVEN GIVING US THE TRUE SIDE OF WRESTLING
not just the glamourous part of the game...
By merely saying DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME to a 6year old boy is not
convincing enough...OF COURSE THEY WILL TRY IT what else can they do anyway???
personally i can confess that WHILE IN CLASS4 i kicked another child so hard
on the stomach at the place he had been operated on --- it was almost
a police case only that i was just a child at the time but that made
me guilty for long...
WHAT IF HE WOULD HAVE DIED WOULD I NOW BE
A MURDERER???
let's save our children from this brain wash!!
FOr more details read:
Dead wrestler's Web page was altered - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070629/ap_on_re_u...
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ITS ABOUT ME, MYSELF AND I
Hi, thank you for paying a visit to my blog. This site is basically about me, myself and I.
If you have the time I will nag you into the business of listening to what I have to say concerning various social, political, economic and religious issues affecting me and those around me. I empty my mind until I remain with nothing else in there.... I tell my own story in a way nobody else would have told it...at least I know myself more than you might think you know me.
Come, lets take the tour around my life
