ƸӜƷ jax ƸӜƷ's blog

MIA from NUTLOG indefinitely

jax4java — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:49:08 UT

This site has taken a turn for the worse ever since the Netlog team allowed cyber abusers to tun rampant...and we ALL remember how miserable that was...as a result, I'm barely on it anymore.

If you'd like to stay in touch, please add me on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/jax4java) or on FB under Jax Java.

Thanks!

GOOOH

jax4java — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:50:40 UT

Learn about GOOOH here, these folks might be on to something:

http://goooh.com/Learn.aspx

Feeling Human Again

jax4java — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:00:37 UT

FINALLY A BREAK IN THE WEATHER! Yesterday the bank across the street read the temp at 101 degrees, 111 the day before...humidity stayed between 70-80%. Our portable air conditioner fried while we were in Eastern WA on Monday, coming home to a 120 degree house after riding in a sun roof car at 113 really sucked. Thankfully, with a razor blade, some desperation and determination, I managed to salvage the plug in enough to get it working again (with a fire extinguisher REALLY NEARBY). lol

We live right next to the river but couldn't utilize it because there's no shore access there, but we did live in Ana's kiddie pool (along with anyone under 7 in our neighborhood)...How many kids can you fit in a 10' wide 3' deep kiddie pool? As many as you can before you run out of Kool-Aid. My garden held up better than I did, which was a relief...even got two ripe cucumbers and 3 heads of lettuce over the past two days.

Today is the first day I didn't wake up with a migraine since Monday...Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Moral? The next purchase for this house will be an air conditioner unit, since I really don't sweat much like the body's supposed to it could literally save my life next time.

Hope ev1 else managed to stay cool!

Old Dogs CAN learn new tricks!

jax4java — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 17:17:27 UT

As you know, we rescued a (now) 11 year old Scottie last year...Star. While it's been a bit of a transition, she is definite proof that old dogs can indeed learn 'new tricks.'

Case in point, day before yesterday, Ana and I were playing in her 3' deep kiddie pool. Brought ToTo (the younger Scottie) in for a swim and she did hold her own (no current, I guess) and enjoyed herself. We then set ToTo 'free' to find a dirt spot to 'take care of the clean spots' and put Star in the pool with us.

Star, in the water for a few minutes, realizes she can't touch bottom. After a few more minutes, she turns to look at me and thinks "when are you going to shampoo me?". I cried and laughed at the same time, realizing this old dog had never been swimming in her life. I told her she's swimming and held her out away from me, hands on her belly to keep her above water. Star panicked and stuck all her feet out but didn't know what to do. Ana, realizing Star doesn't know 'how' to swim, immediately gets in front of her and says, "Star, you have to doggie paddle." and shows her how to doggie paddle. Star, upon seeing Ana, immediately imitates her and starts to doggie paddle. Never in my life have I seen a dog that didn't know how to swim by instinct until then...but amazing how quickly she picked it up.

Now we can't keep her OUT of the pool.

Random Ramble...

jax4java — Tue, 19 May 2009 07:30:31 UT

On a recent trip to Eastern Washington, the view changed from mountain pass to the rolling hills of Ellensburg...and the new windfarms in Washington State dotted the hillside. I marvelled at their stature and the high tech version...and pondered why Americans had ever abandoned the concept to begin with.

As we continued through Othello onto the desolate farm highway 28, the occasional older steel windmill could be viewed adjacent to irrigation equipment,...finally giving away to the primitive gravel road short cut to Central Ferry and the lone windmill standing abandoned, as it had for decades, melted by lightening and transformed a contorted, twisted work of metal sculpture, as if a God-like Norman Rockwell had been possessed momentarily by Salvador Dali...and knowing that the reverse trip through time must end there...for their older predecessors, the wooden windmills, were long since rotted away.

I remember as a young child, the working wood and metal windmill in my Aunt's backyard...kept for 'nostalgic purposes.' I remember marveling over it's cogs and wheels and wires in the windmill house below it. I remember inquiring, more years ago than I'd like to readily admit, why the windmill was considered to contain a 'nostalgic purpose.' My aunt, apparently prepared for such odd questions, responded that years ago farm land was more important than windmills, as food was needed more than electricity. When mainstream electricity became available rurally, it had been considered to be a vast resource. I remember thinking then how odd that answer was.

And, as I watched time reverse itself a hundred years or more as I traveled across Washington state...I was struck that it, had, indeed the windmill had returned again from the past.

For society 100 years ago valued food as a resource more than plentiful energy...and today, realizing that energy is not a vast resource...society values energy more than food. As Eastern Washington farmers turn over their land to windmill farms, the very land their great grandfathers had reclaimed from windmills...all to meet society demand for resource. As content as I am to see us return to a greener way of living...I'm left to wonder if we've only gone 180 degrees...and to come full circle would mean the future predictions of food shortages are both true and dire. Why then, can we not temper the two together in balance? We must be careful to preserve both...or will our great grandchildren tear down our windmills to feed a starving society?

Now that's what I'm talkin about...we all need a dose o GO

jax4java — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:57:10 UT

Note from The Universe:

Some things should just be done for the fun of it.

Not because they're inexpensive, practical, organic, logical, fashionable, modest, brilliant, green, expected, proper, spiritual, thinning, fattening, prudent, or allergen-smoke-chemical free.

Please supersize me,
The Universe

My Little Pony Takes Over The World

jax4java — Tue, 12 May 2009 22:52:49 UT

Chronicles of my life with a blonde: part 16, Easy Bake Oven

jax4java — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 16:31:11 UT

Chronicles of my life with a blonde: part 16, How many blondes needed to use an easy bake oven?

Q: How many blondes needed to use an Easy Bake Oven™?

A: 2...and a Brunette to walk them through it. *sigh* Thus begins another chronicle of my life with a blonde, putting the "irony" in "easy."

little Blonde Spouse Mini Me (aka Ana Rasa) to Brunette Self, "Momma, I wanna play with my Easy Bake Oven™."

Brunette Self to little Blonde Spouse Mini Me (aka Ana Rasa), "Honey, how about you ask Daddy to play with you with your Easy Bake Oven™? The two of you haven't played with it together yet!" [inside Brunette Self is thinking Brunette Brother and Brunette Momma have been suckered into playing with Easy Bake Oven™ on a twice rotation, when it is Blonde Spousus Santa Claus who purchased said Easy Bake Oven™ for ages 8 and up for said little Blonde Spouse Mini Me age 5...ha...revenge is mine! BWAHHAAHAA!]

little Blonde Spouse Mini Me replies, "What a great idea!"

Fast forward two days to unsuspecting Blonde Spousus Santa Claus' next day off.

little Blonde Spouse Mini Me approaches said Blonde Spousus Santa Claus, "Daddy, will you please play with me and play Easy Bake Oven™?"

Blonde Spousus Santa Claus, 'fast stepping' replies, "Perhaps another time."

little Blonde Spouse Mini Me tears up. Big mean Brunette Self jumps in and reminds Blonde Spousus Santa Claus that Brunette Brother and Brunette Momma have already played twice with little Blonde Spouse Mini Me and that it's Blonde Spousus [Santa Claus]' turn. Realizing he's been bamboozled, he laughingly agrees.

But alas, revenge was HIS [plot twist]. It began with a frustrating 15 minutes while he struggled with the picture instructions. Brunette Self begins to feel incredibly guilty.

Blonde Spousus Santa Claus then starts poking things into Easy Bake Oven™ trying to "figure out how to get the **&^*&#^$%#@* cake pan IN there! There's no door!"

Brunette Self realizes impending shock hazard and spends the next 15 minutes guiding Blonde Spousus Santa Claus and little Blonde Spouse Mini Me like Wolfgang Puck through the process of preparing the batter, pans and how to slide the cake pan through the oven without ripping it apart.

By end of process, Blonde Spouse Santa Claus and little Blonde Spouse Mini Me have retired from the kitchen, leaving Brunette Self to complete the cake. DAMN.

Life In the Blah Lane

jax4java — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:59:41 UT

Ah huh.

Things have been going well but no new changes to report.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Pulling the Plug

jax4java — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:30:14 UT

written in a moment of clarity that came in the fit of despair
2:22 pm
26 Jan 2009

None of this is real:
It never was.
It never is.
It never will be.

All of life -- imagined
Some semblance of a dream.
The dreamer, unaware --
The mind makes it up as it goes.

All of pain -- imagined
All of love -- dreamed
All of fate -- an act of guilty conscious
All of fear -- only fear of waking up...
Waking up to realize --
None of this is real.

Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde, part15: Medication Mgmt

jax4java — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:17:46 UT

With the turn of the seasons always comes the rounds of colds and flu in our home, and this year was to be no exception.

Our 5 year old daughter and Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus came down with the nasties first, immediately going into massive snot production and dry cough hackiness.

Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus ventured out to the market to buy cough drops to help with the hackiness that threatened to leave them both parallyzed in fits and waves of coughing.

Most of this first day, Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus diligently gives daughter and himself a cough drop every 2 hours to help with the cough. Oddly, the hacking is unabated. Daughter is overly willing to take a cough drop, something she usually despises as it "tastes all funny."

Brunette Self begins to wonder if the cold is now a "super bug" and investigates medication Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus brought home from the market, now tucked in on the back of the counter.

Brunette Self is greeted with this:

Brunette Self bites tongue and suggest a cough drop with an actual horeshound derivative might be more beneficial, goes to market and returns with cough drops. Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus and 5 Year Old With A New Mouthful of Cavities immediately cease coughing fits.

1 week later Brunette Self finds herself hacking away, Blonde Spouse Sniffle-uf-a-gus looks through medicine cabinet and advises me we are all out of cough drops, but he found another bag of Werther's Originals. *rolls eyes*

Brain Fingerprinting Coming To Airports

jax4java — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:58:26 UT

[begin cynical soap box rant]

What a horrific violation of personal privacy! Of course, the US has been interested in manipulating it's masses since it funded the subliminal advertising of War propoganda to children in movies back in the 20s. Where does it stop? Parents buy home kits to test their teens? Employers buy these systems to replace job interviews? Divorcing couples use it on each other in court? Turn about is fair play, eh? How about EVERY elected official or potentially elected official must subject themselves to these technologies at all times will running for office and while in office? Betcha if the people passed that contingency this technology would quickly "disappear."

[end rant]

from: http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/12/02/airport.security/index.html

Behavioral screening -- the future of airport security?

By Dana Rosenblatt
CNN

TEL AVIV, Israel (CNN) -- Keep your shoes and belts on: Waiting in long airport security lines to pass through metal detectors may soon be a thing of the past.

Security experts say focus is shifting from analyzing the content of carry-ons to analyzing the content of passengers' intentions and emotions.

"We are seeing a needed paradigm shift when it comes to security," says Omer Laviv, CEO of ATHENA GS3, an Israeli-based security company.

"This 'brain-fingerprinting,' or technology which checks for behavioral intent, is much more developed than we think."

Nowhere is the need for cutting-edge security more acute than Israel, which faces constant security threats. For this reason, Israel has become a leader in developing security technology.

Several Israeli-based technology companies are developing detection systems that pick up signs of emotional strain, a psychological red flag that a passenger may intend to commit an act of terror. Speedier and less intrusive than metal detectors, these systems may eventually restore some efficiency to the airplane boarding process.

One firm, WeCU (pronounced "We See You" Technologies, employs a combination of infra-red technology, remote sensors and imagers, and flashing of subliminal images, such as a photo of Osama bin Laden. Developers say the combination of these technologies can detect a person's reaction to certain stimuli by reading body temperature, heart rate and respiration, signals a terrorist unwittingly emits before he plans to commit an attack.

With these technologies, the emphasis is on speed and seamlessness. Ehud Givon, CEO of WeCU, envisions a day when a passenger can breeze through a security checkpoint in 20 to 30 seconds.

Although traditional security profiling can discriminate by race and religion, security experts say behavioral profiling is more fair, more effective and less expensive.

WeCU has received grants from the Transportation Security Administration within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, which hopes to implement a system to pinpoint internal threats such as airline employees intending terrorist acts.

Once these technologies are in place, a passenger may pass through a security screening without realizing it. For example, passengers could use an automated check-in system or gaze at a screen with departures information without realizing they've just been exposed to the words "Islamic jihad" written in Arabic.

These stimuli, explains Givon, will intrinsically elicit some sort of biometric response -- whether the passenger knows it or not -- that can be picked up by WeCU's strategically placed sensors.

"I believe that we introduce a new layer in security," Givon says. "This is something that couldn't be done in the past: finding the connection between a certain individual and the intent to harm."

The Orwellian-sounding startup has gone further to develop a system that detects a passenger's behavioral intentions by scanning their every step, literally. While walking around certain parts of the airport terminal, a passenger may not realize he has stepped on a "smart carpet" filled with hidden biometric sensors.

The technology is still under development, says Givon, who believes it will be strong enough to pick up biometric information from a footstep. If a passenger is wearing heavy hiking boots, for example, WeCU will rely on biometric sensors combined with video and thermal biometric imaging to detect malicious intent.

Another option from WeCU is a "smart seat," or cushion full of hidden biometric sensors that could provide a more detailed read on someone sitting in an airport waiting area, Givon says.

While the technology sound like something from a James Bond flick or even "A Clockwork Orange," Givon insists that passengers will not find the techniques intrusive. "We don't want you to feel that you are being interrogated," he says.

Givon is negotiating contracts with airports worldwide and believes his company's technology may be implemented as soon as 2010.

Nemesysco, another Israeli-based technology company, believes the key to a person's emotions and intentions lies in their voice. The company's patented LVA, or Layered Voice Analysis, technology can pick up verbal cues from a passenger who may pose a threat.

Unlike a polygraph test, which checks for lies, Nemesysco's systems work as an "emotion detector," says Nemesysco CEO Amir Liberman. In other words, it's not what passengers say, but how they say it.

Nemesysco's devices use a series of patented signal-processing algorithms that can differentiate between a "normal" voice and a"'stressed" voice. If emotional stress is detected, officials can determine if the passenger should be taken aside for further questioning.

The system works on the premise that all voices have a certain frequency, and any deviation of that baseline frequency can indicate stress.

Liberman says it takes approximately five to 10 seconds for their system to capture a "normal" voice in casual conversation, which establishes a baseline. Their system then measures changes from the baseline voice that signify an increase in stress, excitement, anticipation, hesitation or other emotions that can indicate a potential terrorism threat.

A computer processes the voice patterns and then flashes words such as "high risk," "medium risk," "excited" and "highly stressed." Through his system, Liberman says, he "can see what's going on in your brain."

Versions of Nemesysco's system already have been successfully tested at Moscow Domodedovo International Airport, where officials used it to target criminals and drug traffickers. A version was recently implemented at another major international airport which Liberman declined to identify.

Layered Voice Analysis also has been used to test for insurance fraud and on the TV program "Big Brother Australia."

Layered Voice Analysis has limitations, including the inability to trace the vocal patterns of a person with a speech impediment. But the system is more effective than current security measures, claims Liberman, who believes a terrorist currently can pass through airport security with explosive material "that can take down any plane."

In fact, many experts express little confidence in the current state of airport security.

Philip Baum, London-based editor of Aviation Security International magazine, says would-be terrorists could easily slip through security checkpoints, even with new regulations that check for liquids.

"The archaic system of an X-ray machine and metal detector cannot pick up other potential threats posed by passengers," Baum says. "I can have a ceramic weapon or chemical weapons and walk through an archway metal detector and it won't be picked up. Yet we have huge faith in these metal detectors that can only pick up one substance."

Laviv, whose consulting firm focuses on securing mass transportation systems, is equally skeptical.

"It is possible today to hijack an aircraft using only five or six able-bodied passengers who are well-trained in Kung Fu fighting," he says. "There is no technology in place in airports to detect a threat like that.

"The question is, should our desire be to look for each and every threat agent, rather than focus our efforts on identifying the [violent] intention of the passenger?"

Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde

jax4java — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:09:33 UT

Blonde Spouse has long since been banned from power tools. There is a long story in that that involves blood...let's just leave it at that.

We are putting in a new shelving unit in our bedroom, and Brunette Self had just completed cutting the shelf to size. Brunette Self assigns the task of removing the nails from the top shelving piece (reclaimed wood) to Blonde Spouse, assuming safety due to the Blonde Spouse being denied power tools. Brunette Self watches in horror as Blonde Spouse leans wood piece against kitchen sink, and proceeds to attempt to knock out the nails by hitting the tips. The wood, mind you, has the nail tip side facing Blonde Spouse, so he can obtain better "leverage." Blonde Spouse begins hammering nail tips, bending them in the process. Brunette Self pleads with Blonde Spouse to stop "before you hurt yourself." Blonde Spouse is offended Brunette Wife cannot be more supportive. Blonde Spouse then proceeds to whack one of the nail tips at the top of the board, driving the bottom row of nail tips into said Blonde Spouse's foot. Brunette Self bites tongue.

Brunette Self places new shelf down into shelf unit and on top of the support brackets of wood already mounted on the inside of the unit. Brunette Self, thinking, Blonde Spouse would be safer driving in nails rather than pulling them out, offers to have Blonde Spouse nail the shelf in. Thinking Blonde Spouse will drive a few nails attaching the board to the support, and perhaps one on each side in the front of the unit and on the back of the unit on the outside, Brunette Self hands Blonde Spouse the hammer and a box of nails and proceeds to sit down and play Word Search games.

Brunette Self gets highly involved in finding words in the puzzles, drones out the hammering coming from the bedroom. Brunette Self snaps out of it and then realizes Blonde Spouse has been hammering for quite some time. Brunette Self, feeling much like a horror movie victim about to discover the first body in the other room, wanders into the bedroom to check on the status of shelf nailing. Brunette Self is greated with this:

Halloween's Over...Now What?

jax4java — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:22:45 UT

How to Make Pumpkin Puree
By eHow Food & Drink Editor
from: http://www.ehow.com/how_8305_make-pumpkin-puree.html

Fresh pumpkin puree is always best to use as a base for pumpkin pie. The following recipe is easier than most because you don't need to undertake the painfully boring and irritating task of peeling the pumpkin. A 4-lb. pumpkin will yield about 4 c. puree.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Split the pumpkin in half and seed it. Remove the stringy fibers by scraping the insides with a metal spoon. Place the two halves cut side down in a roasting pan along with 1 c. water.

Bake the pumpkin until meltingly tender, about 90 minutes.

Scoop the flesh out of each pumpkin half.

Puree in a food processor fitted with a metal chopping blade. Use as needed.

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Roasting Pumpkin Seeds
By: Allrecipes Staff

When you're carving your Halloween pumpkins, don't throw away the seeds!

from : http://allrecipes.com/HowTo/Roasting-Pumpkin-Seeds/Detail.aspx

How to Roast Pumpkin Seeds
Rinse pumpkin seeds under cold water and pick out the pulp and strings. (This is easiest just after you've removed the seeds from the pumpkin, before the pulp has dried.)
Place the pumpkin seeds in a single layer on an oiled baking sheet, stirring to coat. If you prefer, omit the oil and coat with non-stick cooking spray.
Sprinkle with salt and bake at 325 degrees F until toasted, about 25 minutes, checking and stirring after 10 minutes.
Let cool and store in an air-tight container.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom's Pumpkin Pie
SUBMITTED BY: Jim Wright
from: http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Desserts/Pies/Custard-and-Cream-Pies/Pumpkin-Pies/Main.aspx

Pumpkin puree is blended with white and brown sugars, milk, cream, and pinches of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves. Altogether, they make a rich and sensational pumpkin pie filling that bakes up perfectly for the holidays.

PREP TIME 30 Min
COOK TIME 1 Hr
READY IN 1 Hr 30 Min
Original recipe yield 1 - 9 inch pie

INGREDIENTS
1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch single crust pie
3 eggs
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
2 cups pumpkin puree

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C.)

In a large bowl, combine eggs, egg yolk, white sugar and brown sugar. Add salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. Gradually stir in milk and cream. Stir in pumpkin. Pour filling into pie shell.
Bake for ten minutes in preheated oven. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C), and bake for an additional 40 to 45 minutes, or until filling is set.

Drama Free Zone on Netlog

jax4java — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:25:57 UT

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I hereby declare my profile and all contained there-in a "Drama Free Zone on Netlog."

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In case you missed that, I hereby declare my profile and all contained there-in a "Drama Free Zone on Netlog."

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For months I have considered deleting my Netlog account. Netlog is no longer the enjoyable place it once was for me. I am tired of the drama, backstabbing, namecalling, "you're either my friend or their friend" behavior on Netlog. My 16 year old acts with more maturity than many adults on this site. If I see it, I will report it...EVEN if you are on my friend's list. If you don't like it, then please feel free to delete me from your friends. Life is too short to waste on this petty BS.

If you are also tired of the drama and would like to have adult conversation, please feel free to add me to your friend's list or keep me on your friend's list. To those of you who have risen above it, I commend you and are grateful for you! To those of you who continue to instigate or perpetuate it, you will note you are no longer on my friend's list...your continued vengeful behavior has become tiring to me, it is toxic to yourself and to others, please grow up, rise above it/take the high road--for your own benefit, and enjoy your journey as it parts from mine.

Thank you.

Melamine may be in US food supply : HALLOWEEN CANDY

jax4java — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:15:47 UT

Melamine may be in US food supply

..Note:

Brasscheck TV has independently verified the claims made in this video.

If anything, this video understates the situation because melamine has been found in US and European food other than candy.

The only item in question is exactly how much Chinese manufactured milk powder was imported into the US before the contamination was finally admitted to by the Chinese government.

Also, Japan has found melamine in other widely used food ingredients manufactured in China like egg powder.

A link to additional background info is available at the bottom on this page.

Foods at risk: ANY food manufactured in China and potentially any food containing milk powder. US food manufacturers imported millions of pounds of milk powder from China before September 14th. The FDA continues to allow to be sold.

This includes chocolate, cookies, cakes, and even things like packaged macaroni and cheese.

Background

Mike Mozart is a product designer who also runs a video blog about new developments in the toy industry.

His reviews are normally light, cheerful affairs and completely apolitical.

If he appears distraught, it's because he is. This is serious.

Mozart has discovered that the US is the ONLY country that still permits potentially melamine-contaminated food on its shelves. Even China has removed these products from its stores.

That's right. This poison that killed and injured thousands of people, mainly children, may be in US food. We're the only country that hasn't pulled it from its shelves.

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If your child, or any child you know, develops kidney problems do this:

1. Have the child's urine tested for melamine. There are labs in the U.S. that will do it.

2. If the child has kidney stones, save them for testing.

3. Save the product you suspect as having cause it for testing.

4. If any tests show positive for melamine, get an attorney!

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More info here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE-e1bIew5g

and

http://www.brasschecktv.com/page/462.html

Read what the FDA says about it here:

http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/2008/NEW01891.html

ChroniclesOfMyLifeWithABlonde,part13: UnHandy Handyman

jax4java — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:11:43 UT

On Wednesday of last week, the Blonde Spouse and Brunette Self agreed that the main bathroom shower/tub unit needed recalking. Blonde Spouse heartily agreed to take on the task. Brunette Self feels sense of foreboding. *shudders*

"Hon?" Brunette Self ventures.

"Yea, babe."

"Do you know where you put the caulking gun and supplies?" Queries Brunette Self, and directs reader to refer to part 12: Dis-Organization for further details. "We cannot afford to get more caulking and a new caulking gun right now, King County wants their blood--er, TAX money on the 31st."

Blonde Spouse diligently removes trim around top of tub/base of shower surround and treats area with mildew preventer. Blonde Spouse places trim, with nails still in it, with nails pointing upward on the base of the tub. Brunette Self asks why nail points are pointing up (and figures explaining REMOVING NAILS FROM TRIM IS MOST SAFE OPTION is too difficult and lengthy to get into at the moment), and Blonde Spouse snappingly replies it's so the nails don't scratch the tub. *BITES TONGUE*

Blonde Spouse forgot to remove remaining tidbits of caulking prior to using mildew preventer. Tidbits of Napalm like caulking hang dripping with mildew preventer (that Brunette Self is highly allergic to) around the shower surround. Blonde Spouse also forgot to take into account drying time of mildew preventer, thus extending the project back into his work week. Brunette self, several eye rolls later and pondering if we can budget in anti-histamines to combat the welts and swelling, offers to complete the project if Blonde Spouse will locate caulking and caulking gun.

Blonde Spouse states, "There behind the door in the master bathroom."

Brunette self simply ignores nagging need to try to rationalize why Blondus Spousus Dis-Organizedus would consider this the most prime location for home maintenance supplies, and simply says, "Ok."

It is now Sunday of next week, Brunette Self has managed to remove napalm dripping caulk tidbits from unit without putting herself into the hospital. Brunette looks behind doors in master bathroom for caulking supplies and gun...no caulking supplies and gun.

Brunette Self musters up the courage to educate Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus on Monday evening, "Hon, the caulking stuff wasn't where you said it would be. Are you sure you didn't move it?"

Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus pretends not to hear Brunette Self. This tells Brunette Self that Blonde Spousus of the Work Week Grumpus has dis-organized these items so far that even he does not know where they are...they are indefinitely MIA.

Having a family of four share one bathroom for the next two weeks awaiting Blonde Spousus Dis-Organizedus' next paycheck in order to purchase new caulking supplies and gun: ANNOYING.

GETTING THAT ANNOYANCE OUT BY WRITING ANOTHER CHRONICLES OF MY LIFE WITH A BLONDE AND MAKING MYSELF AND OTHERS LAUGH: PRICELESS!

iPods for all: Ways to spend Iraq war's $1 trillion

jax4java — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:35:55 UT

By DUNCAN MANSFIELD

Associated Press Writer
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. —

When the Sunday morning political pundits began talking last year about the tab for the war in Iraq hitting $1 trillion, Rob Simpson sprang from his sofa in indignation.

"Why aren't people outraged about this? Why aren't we hearing about it?" Simpson said. And then it came to him: "Nobody knows what a trillion dollars is."

The amount - $1,000,000,000,000 - was just too big to comprehend.

So Simpson, 51, decided to embark "on an unusual but intriguing research project" to put the dollars and cents of the war into perspective. He hired some assistants and spent 12 months immersed in economic data and crunching numbers.

The result: a slim but heavily annotated paperback released, "What We Could Have Done With the Money: 50 Ways to Spend the Trillion Dollars We've Spent on Iraq."

Simpson is no geopolitical, macro-economic, inside-the-Beltway expert. He's an armchair analyst and creative director for an advertising agency, a former radio announcer and music critic in Ontario and a one-time voiceover actor.

His alternative spending choices reflect his curiosity and wit.

He calculates $1 trillion could pave the entire U.S. interstate highway system with gold - 23.5-karat gold leaf. It could buy every person on the planet an iPod. It could give every high school student in the United States a free college education. It could pay off every American's credit card. It could buy a Buick for every senior citizen still driving in the United States.

"As I started exploring, I was really taken aback by some of the things that can be done, both the absurd and the practical," Simpson said.

America could the double the 663,000 cops on the beat for 32 years. It could buy 16.6 million Habitat for Humanity houses, enough for 43 million Americans.

Now imagine investing that $1 trillion in the stock market - perhaps a riskier proposition today than when Simpson finished the book - to make it grow and last longer. He used an accepted long-term return on investment of 9 percent annually, with compounding interest.

The investment approach could pay for 1.9 million additional teachers for America's classrooms, retrain 4 million workers a year or lay a foundation for paying Social Security benefits in 65 years to every child born in the United States, beginning today.

It's too recent to make Simpson's list, but that $1 trillion could also have paid for the Bush administration's financial bailout plan, with $300 billion to spare. It might not be enough, however, to pay for the war in Iraq. Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz has recently upped his estimate of the war's cost to $3 trillion.

Simpson created a Web site companion to his book that lets you go virtual shopping with a $1 trillion credit card. Choices range from buying sports franchises to theme parks, from helping disabled veterans to polar bears.

Click on Air Force One, the president's $325 million airplane. The program asks: "Quantity?"

"At one point we couldn't find anybody who actually stuck with it long enough to spend $1 trillion," Simpson said. "It will wear you out."

---

On the Net:

http://www.whatwecouldhavedonewiththemoney.com/

Annoyed with WA State Guidelines for Chronic Pain

jax4java — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:58:22 UT

http://www.agencymeddirectors.wa.gov/Files/OpioidGdline.pdf

As a chronic pain patient who is continually perscribed more pills instead of being given 'permission' to utilize alternate sources, I find these guidelines repugnant and cruel. As a Medicare ombudsmen, I have watched several chronic pain patients suffer in this state due to the guidelines adopted recently, have taken multiple (dozens) complaints by patients simply cut off without a taper on this medication after years of relying on them to function in day to day life; and given no alternative except callous phrases such as "walk it off." Those that remain on chronic opioids on Medicare and Medicaid are denied medical marijuana, and must be subjected to random drug tests. Those with private insurance are often held to the same guidelines. Patients are told, "it will only help 30% of your chronic pain, you must learn to function with the remaining 70%." The above guidelines, I feel, would truly change had any of these policy makers experienced such pain in their own lives, or the lives of their loved ones. Why should so many suffer?

Stock Market for Dummies

jax4java — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:06:41 UT

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the
villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.
'

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

jax4java — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:13:57 UT

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:

each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don't send it back to me.... I'm going to bed.

ChroniclesOfMyLifeWithABlonde,part12: "Dis-Organizatio

jax4java — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:17:16 UT

I've come to realize that my Blonde Spouse has some pretty odd habits when it comes to organization. He will look at a box of random items, select the biggest thing in the box (say, "a pan" and determine it is all kitchen stuff. We've lived in our house for over 4 years now, and I still can't find everything he "organized."

Yet, Blonde Spouse is surprisingly anal about the weirdest things: his pillows must be arranged perfectly perpendicular to each other in order to sleep, toilet paper must be folded and not bunched, just to name a few.

My Brunette Virgo-ness has begun to wear off on Blonde Spouse, the last time he packed for a camping trip, he proudly announced, "I have made a list." My Brunnete Virgo-ness' heart jumped with joy and promptly fell to my shoes when he presented me with "the list."

"The list" consisted of a complex drawing with arrows, curved lines connecting items and the occasional "oh, shit, I don't know where that is" comment. There were bubbles connected to other bubbles, big X's over duplicate items, etc. Blonde Spouse determined that we required 6 rolls of toilet paper (for a two day trip), replacement flashlight bulbs, but apparently plates and silverware were not important items...neither was propane or the tent. ?? I attempted to point this out but angered Blonde Spouse, who stated "I can do this!"

We arrived at said campsite to discover he had packed the tent (after I suggested it), but forgot the poles. We had 3 replacement light bulbs but no batteries for the flashlights. We had six rolls of toilet paper but no biodegradable chemical for the port-a-potty. We had tarps but no rope to hang them. We had signs to post but no staples to post them. *sigh* Brunette Virgo-ness has taken over the packing lists, and has resigned herself to composing a "secret" list to assure this never happens again.

Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde, part 11: Order Take-Out

jax4java — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:48:23 UT

Sometimes my Brunette Self is afraid to order anything with Blonde Spouse, fearing disgruntled food service workers may spit in my food in frustration with the order.

We roll up to the order menu, “May I take your order.”

Blonde Spouse, “I’ll take a cheeseburger, please. No ketchup but mustard, no tomato but onion, no pickles but mayonnaise.”

Disgruntled food service worker, “So, you want a cheeseburger with pickles and mayonnaise?”

Blonde Spouse, “No! No pickles but mayonnaise, with onions but no tomato and no ketchup but mustard.”

Disgruntled food service worker, “So you want a cheeseburger plain?”

Angry Blonde Spouse, “NO! Mayonnaise no ketchup, mustard no pickles, onions no tomato!”

Brunette Self, “I’ll just get a #3, please. Surprise me on the pop.”

Angry Blonde Spouse, “Did you get that?”

Disgruntled food service worker, “*audible sigh of annoyance* Please pull forward to the first window.”

Brunette Self turns to Blonde Spouse, “Why don’t you just order a cheeseburger with mayonnaise, onion and mustard?”

Blonde Spouse, “Because that would be too complicated.”

Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde, part 10: Painting Fence

jax4java — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:17:38 UT

We installed a 6 foot tall wooden privacy fence in our backyard and drowned it in clear sealer. Sadly, only two years later, it needed to be re-sealed again. The original sealer did a lousy job of keeping it’s beautiful cedarness, so we opted to stain it this time around in addition to sealing the wood.

We only had enough redwood stain to do one side of the fence, and enough red mahogany stain to do the other side.

Brunette self, “Hon, why don’t we mix the two stains together?”

Blonde spouse, “Why would we do that? We might run out of color!”

Brunette self, taking deep breath, “Honey, wouldn’t we run out regardless of whether or not we mixed them, since we have equal parts of both?”

Blonde spouse, “No way! I’m going to paint the outside redwood and the inside mahogany!” Result? Two toned fence.

Brunette self resorts to abandoning ill-logical debate and wonders if Blonde spouse shouldn’t be running for president.