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jackiesissy

male - 46 years, Amelia Island, United States
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Blog / Caught Your Husband in Panties... Now What? (Part 1)

Wednesday, 19 November 2008 at 19:38

We have all heard about wives who find out to their surprise that their husband is a crossdresser. What is a woman to do?
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Everyone has heard it so often that it is practically a cliche. A woman comes home from work early, or perhaps she leaves the house on a shopping trip and, forgetting something, returns home. She walks into her house and there, much to her surprise, she finds her husband admiring himself in the mirror, wearing a dress and pantyhose and makeup!

There are many variations of this story. Maybe the husband is parading around the house in panties, or masturbating while wearing a garter belt and stockings. Sometimes it happens that a woman finds panties among her husband's belongings and confronts him with the evidence of a possible affair, only to have him admit that the panties are his (or maybe hers) and that he himself secretly wears them.

Unfortunately, this situation is generally seen by the woman as a bad thing, if not downright catastrophic. There is the sudden realization that her husband, as she might phrase it, "is not the man that I thought I married". She may suffer feelings of betrayal because of the realization that he has been keeping secrets from her. Often, and most devastatingly, she will conclude that this means that her husband is secretly gay.

Miss Carolyn (for those who do not already know) is the mother of Miss Barbara, the woman to whom I am married. She suggested that I write this essay with the idea that it might be beneficial for women who find themselves in this situation. The first thing that she wants to make clear is this: your husband is almost certainly not gay!

It is true that he is a crossdresser, and there is likely an aspect of sexual excitement in this behavior for him, but most crossdressers are not gay. Gay men are by definition men that are attracted to other men. Most crossdressers are in fact attracted to women, just like most men. Of course, there is a small chance that he might be gay, but that has little to do with the fact that he is a crossdresser. In other words, there is a small chance that any man might be gay, crossdresser or not. The only way you would know for sure is if he told you, or if you were to catch him in an intimate situation with another man.

The next things you should know are that yes, he has been keeping secrets from you and no, he is not exactly the man that you thought you married... and, if handled correctly, both of these will be very good things for you! Also good for him and for your relationship, but especially good for you. I will come back to these points soon but for now, what should you do (or what should you have done) at the moment of discovery?

Miss Carolyn's recommendation to a woman faced with this situation is that she remain calm above all. Of course, it is only natural to register surprise at such a discovery but it is important to regain composure as quickly as possible. Try to keep in mind that no matter what you are feeling, the surprise, embarrassment, humiliation, and fear that your husband is feeling are whole magnitudes more intense, and this gives you a great advantage. The best thing to do is to say something like, "Well, isn't this a surprise? I'm leaving now but I'll be back soon and then we are going to talk. You have fun!" And then smile and calmly walk out of house. He will probably be speechless and he certainly won't follow you (not dressed like that!). And needless to say, you can bet that he will not be having any fun while you are gone.

If something like this has already happened and you did not handle it this way, don't worry, it is not too late. The main thing that a woman in this situation, or any woman for that matter, needs to know is this: Once she has seen her husband (or boyfriend, or indeed any other man) dressed in women's clothes, the balance of power in the relationship immediately shifts to her. It is almost like magic!

This power-shift is a basic principle of female superiority. If used properly, it will be the basis of your relationship with your husband from that moment on. In the next essay of this series, I will discuss how to put this principle to use, starting with that first talk the two of you have after the incident. Stick around, this is going to be fun!


Comments 22

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  • 46

    jackiesissy 26 November 2008

    - owlwmn:
    This blog of yours made really think and to try to "see" my husband in panties. I cracked up laughing. As a joke he might, but I don't think he would. Thanks for an interesting blog.

    Teressa

    Hehe... funny Miss Teressa! Well, you never know, maybe he would if you asked him. I am glad you liked this blog. Stick around, I am almost finished with Part 2! It was getting a bit long too, so there will be at least 3 parts, maybe more!

    Thanks again,
    jackie


  • 48

    owlwmn 25 November 2008

    This blog of yours made really think and to try to "see" my husband in panties. I cracked up laughing. As a joke he might, but I don't think he would. Thanks for an interesting blog.

    Teressa


  • 46

    jackiesissy 23 November 2008

    - Simply_Tash:
    If I caught him in my panties? :).... I will tell him to try the red thongs.... :).....seriously speaking, there will be an initial shock, even violent reaction....but as long as I am asured that I am not competing with a man for his love, or even another woman for that matter, then I can acquiesce....I can let him have his fun times as long as he remains a functional husband.....I can even doll him up... :) :)...

    Fun blog, Jackie!!! :)

    Haha... Nice one Miss Tasha! I like that attitude. Except for the thongs idea maybe, I think sissies look kind of silly in a woman's thong... they just don't fit right if you know what I mean. Instead, maybe take him shopping and let him pick out some things in his own size. Of course, once he was in panties, you could make the choice for him!
    Thanks again,
    jackie


  • 51

    Simply_Tash 22 November 2008

    If I caught him in my panties? :).... I will tell him to try the red thongs.... :).....seriously speaking, there will be an initial shock, even violent reaction....but as long as I am asured that I am not competing with a man for his love, or even another woman for that matter, then I can acquiesce....I can let him have his fun times as long as he remains a functional husband.....I can even doll him up... :) :)...

    Fun blog, Jackie!!! :)


  • 46

    jackiesissy 22 November 2008

    - champion723:
    this was an awesome blog as usual hun and to me there is nothing wrong with any of it, if it adds excitment then by all means keep it going hugssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    Thanks Miss Tracey! It is nice to hear from you. I hope everything is going well for you and thanks for the comment.


  • 46

    jackiesissy 22 November 2008

    - hopefulltrue:
    :) I think this was funny but on the serious part not telling the whole truth is the only problem that I see... Women wear men's clothes & if a guy wanted to wear females what the heck go for it... To each their own I say. Good blog though :)

    It seems that the lack of truthfulness is the major problem that many women have with such a discovery about their men. But the man wants to be truthful, It is just that men are afraid to tell women about their desire to feel feminine because society has always told men that this desire is a weakness, or means that the man is gay. Neither of these things are true. Maybe the reason that men get caught doing things like this is because deep down, they want to get caught, then the truth can be known. Thanks for reading and thanks for your thoughtful comment!


  • 46

    jackiesissy 22 November 2008

    - sweetcarrots64:
    i will keep an open mind about this...some men i think, likes the feel of panties being worn by her lady before...and it keeps him aroused at times...hihihi...but i dont know about the dress...i may accept the wearing of panties as fetish behavior..to keep his mind excited...hahaha. nice topic here jackie!!!

    Thank for reading my blog and leaving your comment, Miss Lida. It is true that for many men panties are a fetish and worn for arousal. But that is not always the case, especially when he likes to dress up in more than just panties. Some men just need to feel feminine for reasons that even they don't understand, they just can't help it. Hopefully this series will help women understand this and even help to see how she can benefit from the situation.


  • 46

    jackiesissy 22 November 2008

    - Babymisty1963:
    I'm sorry but it's bad enogh to see a man in a speedo, but to have to see him in my thong!!! I think NOT!!!
    I don't want to wear a mans undies and I don't want my man to wear mine!! I guess I'm just not that cool!!
    The biggest problem for me would be that he kept something from me and did not let me decide if that was something I wanted to deal with or not!! He took away my choice!!

    Hi Miss Mary, thanks for reading and for the comment. And don't worry, I think you are plenty cool! I understand your view about him keeping something from you. It is just that it is hard for a man that likes to wear women's clothes to tell his wife/girlfriend about it because he loves her and he is afraid of what she will think about him. So he will try to keep it a secret, or he will try to quit doing it, but he always seems to get caught in the end. I hope this blog series will help people that find themselves in this situation.


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