Blog 8
-
Him being him
Wow. Not only does he useing the excuse that he adds Zoosk a dating site because our roomate has it on his facebook. Then he send chat requests to women in PA and another one. Then he adds Amanda back on his facebook. Then last night to top things off when I was not watching him play slot games he sneeks and watches nude bitches on the internet www.nudesexymom.com and gets on a web site called Shy web cam girl alone. Wow just wow. That prooves my point that he does not care one bit about me. He acted like he cared about Adam and took him to the ER last night after school, but complained the whole time that he wanted to leave, he was hungry and needed a beer. But when we walked in the door and found out my dad called he listened for a few minutes and then grabbed a beer took it outside and chugged it then came back in complaining he had a head ache. I said well you chugged that beer right hes like well yeah. I said well than thats why you have a headache. He didn't think I saw him with it. Then he did not make his own son noodles or anything after that the daddying was done. It was all about his aches and pains well if he would stop stressing out about Amanda and worry about his family and stop lieing life would be good. Alls his days worry about is her, other woman, casinos and lottery. I am so sick of it. I used to think it was just a fun hobby with the lottery, but he has made it a job and very expensive habit. I am tired of living like this. He said we are staying here at least for the school year so we can get a head, but we are never going to get a head if we don't get the stuff out of pawn and eliminate the debt we have. I am going to do my part and see a debt person for mine for the big ones. So I can get a home owners loan and I am going to get a big enough place and property to be able to have all my family in one place. I am going to beat this depression and get my life back on track. Please God let Sherry come home at least for the summer.
-
School
Wow I just got some awesome news today. My big boy gets to go to school five days a week. Wish I would have known that last week and he would have been on the bus friday. So he missed one day by accident. The driver just said this morning that he gets to go five days a week. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for him and for us. Plus I just got some amazing news my best friend Sherry applied for her teaching liscence in Ohio. Here comes December, but she also applied for a Job in Tennesse. But heres hoping she is coming home. I really did not think she would come yet due to her mom being ill. But if she is coming back thank heavens I might be able to finally get the old Debra back. The one that had back bone and loved life. Better go for now. Heres hoping for the future.
-
Sick of drama
I am so sick tired of my fiancee getting on my facebook cites and pretending to be me so he can talk to his ex-girlfriend. He is trying to catch her to say stuff to me that would admit she still loves him and wants him. I have read heard so much over the past two years. That he don't want me and his so. Yet she has four boys. The sex must be dam good. Well why would you stay with me for 14 years if I was that bad oh yeah money. So he don't have to work and make a living at going to the casino all the time. Oh yeah right make a livng off the casino thats a joke. Yes he did win 777 dollars off spending one dollar but between going to the casnio the day he won and pay day he blew it all back in and nothing to show for it. The stuff he bought for me and adam. He took it back to wal-mart. I might as well deactive my facebook accounts. I have no privacy to talk to anyone and knows all my passwords but I don't know his. Wish I could figure out what to do.
-
Drama like Always
Wow. Today topped all day. We saw her and her mom today. Rob followed them and tried to get them to stop because her mom flipped us off. He says that she appologied for what ever she did or say. And like normal he bowed downed to her and realiing her back in to our lives again. I am so sick and tired of the drama crap. He told me last night the he got rid of her. Yeah right maybe for a few hours. I am sick and tired of being an informant. She don't want friends. And like normal Rob just wants her and I fighting. So that her and I won't talk about him. Well if they are not lieing to me and keeping stuff from me then this would not happen. I am so sick of this. He says he loves me but he keeps going back to her and sending pictures of himself to her. NOT ones that she should be getting if they are supposed to be just friends. If they don't want to be homewreckers then stop there stuff. I am so sick this.
-
Friendship Renew
Well I guess she does want to be friends again. She says that she is in love with someone and that she does not want to be a home wrecker. Which that tells me right there that she is still in love with Rob. She would not tell me the name because she does not want to lose our friendship so that is a big red flag that its Rob too. Then tonight I had to ask for a kiss from Rob when he left. He says that he does not give kisses out anymore. They have been homewreckers before so what does it matter now. So I guess I should just leave and let them be together. Rob said a statement today that no matter where he is that even if he was dead that he loves Adam. Well that gives me another red flag that he wants her again and that I don't fucking matter. Well I guess I better be making some plans again and this time for good. She made a statement that if our men left that we would always have each other so i don't know what to think.
-
She wants to be friends
Well supposedly she says she wants to be friends with both me and him. But she writes him and says that she has been keeping the cloths that he bought her (which were bras, undies and t-shirts for sure probably other stuff too) for memories. Well she says that she regrets ever doing anything with him and me. So if you regret something why would you keep cloths from some for memories. Plus why would you tell me that you don't want anything to do with him every again and then insist on staying friends with him. She even told me that if I was ever to leave him that her, husband and here kids would come visit me more. Which is a lie. Because every time that I would leave him she would only call me when he changed his phone number and she knew more than likely I would for sure have the number because him and I have a son together. She calls me nieve and a controling b----. I am not anymore controling than she is. She does even worse to her husband. She threatens to kill anyone that even thinks about talking to him even if it was something as innocent as asking directions. I am nieve because to ever believe that they will ever be done. She says she wants nothing to do with him anymore because of what he did to her and her husband. She don't know what she wants. She sure don't know the meaning of wedding vows. Cause she has broken everyone possible and even the 10 commandments. I don't claim to be a saint. I have had my problems too however if your going to be in a marriage then be faithful. If you want to play the field than don't get married. Because in the long run your not only hurting the person you married you hurt, yourself, your children and the person you had the affair with. She needs to stop playing games. Don't say you believe in God if your going to wreck two families, cause god would not approve of what your doing. Well I better go for now, I hope some day things will go back to normal
-
Drama
My life for the past 15 years has been nothing but drama when alls I ever wanted was a man that love me and only me. A family with at least one child. If I was blessed with more hopefully one girl and one boy. When woman get married and have a family when they say their wedding vows. Why can't they mean them. Why do they still have to continue to run after someone elses man. They have a husband and several children. They break their wedding vows and sleep with the man that I am with. Then when the two of them say its over the continue to do it behind my back because he tells her that I am ok with it when I had no clue they started up again. But yet they don't consider it cheating because I let them do it in the beginning, but when they said they were done. I took both of them at their word they were done. Then when my fiancee and I get back together he says they are done again and then they can't leave each other alone on facebook or texting each other or calling each other on the phone. She tells me she wants our friendship back. She don't want our friendship back. She just wants to get close to me so she can be close to him like normal.
-
My Mom
My mom was the most wonderful person I have ever had the pleasure of being in my life. She was the most caring, considerate person in the world. I may know more people like her, but she will always hold a very special place in my heart forever. I know now that I look on how life went when I grew up. I took my mom for granted and I will never forgive myself. Knowing my mom she is looking down on me right now and saying don't you dare blame yourself. I love you and I know you always loved me and always will. So go on with your life and live it to the fullest for you and your family. I will always be in your memories and your heart.
Please wait...
