Blog 19
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new boots
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'
Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked ba ck into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'N otice anything different NOW?'
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!'
Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'
'Nope', she replied.
'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.'
have a smile daryl -
he said she said
every day in the shouts is a ridiculous display of childish squabbling it is so pathetic if you people only knew how ridiculous it looks its so sad like a bunch of children he called me this she said this please get over it lifes to short and believe me after 9 heart attacks and colon cancer and surviving both by the grace of god i consider every day a gift and believe it should be treated as such take it from me lifes to short so lets treat all as we want to be treated and lets all get along you never know when your numbers up folks stop fighting and enjoy life please
hugggggggggggggs all
daryl -
is it nba or nfl scary
Is It NBA or NFL?
36
have been accused of spousal abuse
7
have been arrested for fraud
19
have been accused of writing bad checks
117
have directly or indirectly
bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3
have done time for assault
71,
repeat
71 cannot
get a credit card due to bad credit
14
have been arrested on drug-related charges
8
have been arrested for shoplifting
21
currently
are defendants in lawsuits, and
84
have been arrested for drunk driving
in
the last year
Can
you guess which organization this is?
Give
up yet? . . Scroll down,
Neither,
it's the 435 members of the United States Congress
The same group of Idiots that crank out
hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.
You gotta pass this one on! -
sorry not me
everyone seems to think im with someone on the internet because of the poem i put in the spotlight well no not so just fantasy i guess something i was inclined to write just hope everyone likes it
have a great day daryl -
internet love
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun. -
never judge to fast
..
> I helped a woman in her wheelchair reach for ice cream tod ay...even
> though others were standing there no one offered to help...they just
> watched as the door kept shutting on her so I stepped in, looked for the
> flavors that would work for her as she informed me should could
> not have chocolate, and wished her a good day as she went on her
> way...She was so thankful and I was hoping all those others felt about
> knee high...
> 'Some people!' snorted a man standing behind me in the
> long line at the grocery store.
> 'You would think the manager would pay attention and
> open another line, 'said a woman. I looked to the front of the line to
> see what the hold up was and saw a well dressed, young woman, trying to
> get the machine
> to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the
> machine kept rejecting it.
> 'It's one of them welfare card things. Damn people need to get a job
> like everyone else,' said the man
> standing behind me. The young woman turned around to
> see who had made the comment. 'It was me,' he said, pointing to
> himself.
> The young lady's face began to change expression. Almost in tears, she
> dropped the welfare card onto the
> counter and quickly walked out of the store. Everyone in the checkout
> line watched as she began running to
> her car. Never looking back, she got in and drove away.
> After developing cancer in 1977 and having had to use
> food stamps; I had learned never to judge anyone, without knowing the
> circumstances of their life. This
> turned out to be the case today.
>
> Several minutes later a young man walked into the
> store. He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman.
> After describing her, the cashier told
> him that she had run out of the store, got into her car, and drove away.
>
> 'Why would she do that?' asked the man. Everyone in the line looked
> around at the fellow who had made the
> statement. 'I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was
> using. Something I shouldn't
> have said. I'm sorry,' said the man.
>
> 'Well, that's bad, real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in
> Afghanistan two years ago. He had three
> young children and she has taken on that
> responsibility. She's twenty years old, single, and now has three
> children to support,' he said in a very
> firm voice.
>
> 'I'm really truly sorry. I didn't know,' he replied, shaking both his
> hands about.
>
> The young man asked, 'Are these paid for?' pointing to the shopping cart
> full of groceries. 'It wouldn't take
> her card,' the clerk told him.
>
> 'Do you know where she lives?' asked the man who had made the comment.
> Yes, she goes to our church.'
>
> 'Excuse me,' he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He
> pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier,
> 'Please use my card.
> PLEASE!' The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young
> woman's groceries.
>
> Hold on,' said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and
> began loading his own groceries onto
> the belt to be included. 'Come on people. We got three kids to help
> raise!' he told everyone in line.
> Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few
> customers began bagging the food
> and placing it into separate carts. 'Go back and get two big turkeys,'
> yelled a heavyset woman, as she
> looked at the man. 'NO,' yelled the man. Everyone stopped dead in
> their tracks. The entire store became
> quiet for several seconds. 'Four turk eys,' yelled the man. Everyone
> began laughing and went back to work.
> When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,646.57 for the
> groceries. He then walked over to the side, pulled out his check
> book, and began
> writing a check using the bags of dog food piled near the front of the
> store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to
> the young man.
> 'She will need a freezer and a few other things as well,' he told the
> man.
> The young man looked at the check and said, 'This is really very
> generous of you.'
> 'No,' said the man. 'Her brother was the generous one.'
> Everyone in the store had been observing the odd commotion and began to
> clap. And I drove home that
> day feeling very American.
> We live in the Land of the free, because of the Brave!!! Remember our
> Troops of Yesterday and Today!!!
> A great exampl e of why we should be kind and patient.
> Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
> May God's many blessings continue
> to be with you - ALWAYS!!!
> MAY THIS KEEP GOING....
> IT WILL OPEN A LOT OF EYES,
> HOPEFULLY HEARTS,
> AND KEEP SOME MOUTHS SHUT. -
grandmas you gotta love em
Grandma's Birth Control
A doctor had been seeing an 80 year old woman for most of her life .
He finally retired.
At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all her
medications that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he
realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.
'Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?'
'Yes, they help me sleep at night.'
'Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could
possible help you sleep.'
She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee.
'Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the
glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks..........and
believe me, it helps me sleep at night.'
Grandmas.......... you gotta love 'em! -
my first time
Subject: My First Time
MY FIRST TIME----
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...
NOW ALL U DIRTY MINDS SAY 3 HAIL MARYS.. -
retirement
a man was walking to the store when he passed a rest home and saw six old ladies laying on blankets on the lawn he figured well they snuck out and havent been found he went to the store got some lunch and was on his way back about two hours later and he saw they were still there thinking he must say something he goes in and reports it to the man at the desk did you know you have six elderly ladies laying naked on the lawn oh yes the man said they are retired prostitutes having a yard sale
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got chills with this one
A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps...
A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
'And blood was everywhere,'
'The sirens screamed out eulogies,'
For death was in the air.
'A mother, trapped inside her car,'
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
'Oh, God, please spare my boys!'
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
'She struggled to get free,'
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
'On where the back seat once had been,'
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
'She did not hear them cry, '
'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, '
'Oh, God, don't let them die! '
Then firemen came and cut her loose, '
'But when they searched the back, '
'They found therein no little boys, '
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
'And was traveling alone, '
'But when they turned to question her, '
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
'In beseeching supplication, '
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
'Their jeans are blue to match.''
'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, '
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
'And gave them each a cone, '
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
'I've searched the area high and low, '
But I can't find their dad.
'He must have fled the scene, '
'I guess, and that is very bad.'
'The mother hugged the twins and said, '
'While wiping at a tear, '
'He could not flee the scene, you see, '
'For he's been dead a year.'
'The cop just looked confused and asked, '
'Now, how can that be true? '
'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came '
'And left a kiss for you.'' '
He told us not to worry
'And that you would be all right, '
And then he put us in this car with
'The pretty, flashing light. '
'We wanted him to stay with us, '
'Because we miss him so, '
'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight '
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
'And told us not to fuss, '
'And he said to tell you, Mommy, '
'He's watching over us.'
The mother knew without a doubt
'That what they spoke was true, '
'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.'
The firemen's notes could not explain
'The twisted, mangled car, '
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
'But on the cop's report was scribed, '
'In print so very fine, '
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
'The 7 Second Prayer, Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves.
'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless my
family, my home, my friends, and me. Amen. '
Pass this message to 7 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}.
You will receive a miracle tomorrow.
He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and
He asked: 'My child, what is your greatest wish for today?' I responded:
'Lord please, take care of the person
who is reading this message, their family and their special friends.
They deserve it and I love them very much.
' The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning,
but not its end. This message works on the day you receive it.
Let us see if it is true.
ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.