Blog 15
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21 Guns
Not sure what this is about.. but this song seems appropriate for the time being.. what i feel.. or seem to feel..
21 Guns / Green Day
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away?
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?
When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins -
You have to give up complaining part 1..
This is what i've read in a book by Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series..
In order to complain about something or someone, you have to believe something better or someone exists. You have to have a reference point of something you prefer that you are not willing to take the responsibility for creating. You have this image of something better - more money, a better job, a better house, a more loving spouse - and you know you would prefer it, but are unwilling to take the risks that would be required to create it.
The circumstances that you complain about are, by their very nature, situations you can change, but you chose not to. You can get a better job, find a more loving partner, make more money, eat better and healthier food and live in a nicer house. But all of these things will require you to change.
But you know.. To change is to take risks. You run the risk of being unemployed (ditto), left alone (ditto), or ridiculed and judged by others (ditto). You run the risk of failure (ditto), confrontation (ditto), or being wrong (ditto). Making a change might take effort, money and time. It might be uncomfortable (very), confusing (ditto) and difficult (true). And so to avoid risking any of those above, you stay put and complain about it.
You know there is something better out there for you. So make a choice.. Either accept that you are making the choice to stay where you are, take responsibility for your choice and stop complaining... or... take the risk of creating your life exactly the way you want it to be.
"You know what you will get if you stay the way you are, but you'll never know what will come to you if you take the risk to change for the better" -
Kita insan biasa..
Kita Insan Biasa
( P )
Andainya dapat kuulang semula
Suatu zaman yang bernama remaja
Akan terpelihara segala milikku
Hanya buatmu...
( L )
Lautan mana yang tidak bergelombang
Bumi yang mana tidak ditimpa hujan
Aku sepertimu ada waktu diburu
Oleh dosa-dosa masa yang lalu...
( P )
Diriku mawar pudar warna
Tiada lagi yang istimewa
Dapat dipersembahkan
Menjadi satu lambang sucinya percintaan
( L )
Usah lagi kita persoalkan
Keterlanjuran di masa nan silam
Kusedia terima dirimu seadanya
Kita insan biasa...
Jay Jay & Dayangku Intan.. Saper ingat?? hehe.. -
The Reality of Me..
I'm trapped inside my love
I never will be freed
Of the pain I always have
Of this aching, biting need
It hurts because I miss you
And the pain will never cease
It'll never let me forget my love
Never give me peace
I can't change the way I feel
I'll live with it instead
I loved you then, I love you now
I'll still love you when i'm on my deathbed
I cry and then I wonder
Why I can't have you
I forget how much you hurt me
I want the girl I knew
Every time I see you
And look into your eyes
I see the girl I'll always love
Hidden deep inside
This prison is my home
It's the only thing I see
It's trapped me here, there's no escape
And I can never leave.
Will I ever be free? -
Meet me halfway..
Meet me halfway, right at the borderline
that's where i'm gonna wait, for you
i'll be lookin out, night n'day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay..
I can't go any further then this..
I want you so bad it's my only wish..
Dok petik skit je lagu ni.. part yang lain tu over sgt2.. hahaha.. -
Kemaman Kopitiam, Kuantan. 10012010 2345
Kini aku berada di Kuantan. Lepak kat kopitiam jugak, tapi di tempat orang. Terasa lega dapat melarikan diri dari hiruk pikuk Kuala Lumpur buat seketika. Bukannya di sini tak ada hiruk pikuk, tetapi hiruk pikuknya begitu lain rasanya berbanding hiruk pikuk kampung halamanku. The curse of being a city boy.
Tak kira la macam mana pun keadaannya di sini, perubahan suasana ini amat berharga bagi aku. Tidak terungkap oleh kata-kata. AKu berterima kasih kepada seorang teman yang sudi memberikan aku peluang ini. Sampai-sampai aku di Kuantan, dia tak buang masa, membawa aku terus ke Kemaman berjumpa dengan beberapa orang clientnya. Moga-moga ada la peluang untuk aku di sudut bumi tuhan yang ini, untuk aku memulakan hidup baru..
Erm.. Chicken Chop Hainan dah pun aku licinkan. Sekarang tengah melayan minuman Honey Lemon Ice, yang bagiku agak pahit sedikit jika dibandingkan dengan minuman-minuman yang sama di Kuala Lumpur. Lemon bagi lebih kot..
Tapi... sayang pulak nak tinggalkan kawan-kawan di Kuala Lumpur. hmm... Nak buat macam mana ek? -
Malam 6 Januari 2010
Dah lama tak menulis. Aku mengaku, idea agak kurang sejak akhir-akhir ini. Sejak sesi persekolahan kembali bermula, perubahan agak jelas dalam jadual harian aku. Walaupun aku tak ada kena mengena dengan hal-hal menyekolahkan anak-anak (duit dah bagi kat si dia, dialah yang menguruskan hal itu, bukannya aku tak mahu terlibat, tetapi keadaan memaksa aku hanya mampu melihat dari jauh, walau sebenarnya nampak pun tak..).
Sekarang aku sibuk menghantar proposal-proposal, kembali kepada aktiviti aku sebagai tutor. Namun aku mesti melakukan perubahan dalam teknik pengajaran memandangkan ada perubahan juga serba sedikit dalam kurikulum pendidikan tahun ini. Aku pun tak pasti lagi apa perubahannya, tapi kawan-kawan guru aku berkata begitu. Harap-harap aku boleh melakukan perubahan secara drastik supaya aku dapat meneruskan tugas aku sebagai tutor persendirian yang berjaya (InsyaAllah).
Kepada sesiapa yang berminat untuk mendapatkan khidmat tutor persendirian.. sila hubungi aku melalui message. Aku akan pastikan khidmat first class. Kalau aku tak mampu membantu, aku boleh meminta bantuan dari rakan-rakan dalam network tutor aku. InsyaAllah.
Terima kasih kerana sudi membaca. Semoga berjaya! -
Unforgiven III
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Quitting??
One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I t ook very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the
bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the God how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the God is! -
Busuk!!
Alkisah.. Terdapat seorang penoreh getah yang separuh umur bernama Pak Abu yg tinggal seorang diri di pinggir kampung. Sememangnya beliau terasa amat sunyi setelah isterinya yg tersayang meninggalkan beliau utk bertemu Ilahi beberapa bulan sebelum itu. Anak-anak beliau telahpun berhijrah ke bandar semenjak bertahun-tahun dulu, meninggalkan beliau bersendirian. Tetapi Pak Abu tidak pernah merasa kesedihan yang melampau, malahan beliau terima keadaan hidupnya sebagai takdir yang telah ditentukan. Sekurang-kurangnya anak sulung beliau telah membelikan sebuah van tua, yang mana beliau gunakan untuk mengangkut getah hasil torehannya ke pekan untuk dijual.
Namun begitu, pada suatu hari, van yang beliau amat sayangi itu rosak. Beliau agak bernasib baik kerana beliau telahpun dapat menghantar hasil torehannya pada hari itu ke pekan sebelum ini. Akan tetapi masih terdapat beberapa guni getah sekerap yang belum lagi dihantar. Memandangkan hari sudah agak suntuk, dan hujung minggu bakal tiba, beliau perlu menghantarnya ke pekan secepat mungkin. Jika tidak, beliau perlu menunggu selama tiga hari untuk menjual getah sekerap tersebut.
Beliau pun meminta bantuan sahabatnya Pak Bakar untuk menolong beliau menghantar getah sekerap tersebut ke pekan. Pak Bakar pun tiba dengan van barunya, berkilat-kilat dan wangi baunya, mungkin baru selepas dicuci, divakum dan dipolish. Bila Pak Bakar melihat akan getah sekerap yang bakal dimuatkan dalam van beliau, beliau mula merungut.. "Busuk la van aku... Busuk!" Kecil hati Pak Abu mendengarnya, tetapi Pak Bakar dengan berat hati mengatakan bahawa dia sanggup juga untuk menolong. Maka bertolaklah mereka ke pekan membawa getah sekerap itu bersama.
Sepanjang perjalanan ke pekan, Pak Bakar tidak henti-henti komplen akan bau getah sekerap yang amat busuk itu. "Busuk betul la benda tu. Busuk gila!" Pak Abu hanya memendam perasaan..
Setibanya di pekan, mereka terus menuju ke kedai Ah Pek untuk menjual getah sekerap. Agak lumayan juga hasil jualan tersebut, memandangkan betapa banyaknya getah sekerap yang dijual. Pak Abu kemudiannya masuk kembali ke dalam van untuk memulakan perjalanan pulang ke kampung.
Dalam perjalanan pulang, Pak Abu asyik mengira hasil jualan getah sekerap. Sengaja ditunjukkan not-not RM50 yang bersusun-susan kepada Pak Bakar. Pak Bakar pun berkata, "Wah! Masyukk... Boleh la belanja aku makan nanti". Pak Abu pun buat-buat terkejut. "Apa? Mana boleh! Duit ni busuk tau! Busuk!! Busuk gila!!!"
Please wait...
