angelwithabullet
Trust female - 46 years
Blog 212
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Sx Education 9: Shy Guys?
Why you should kiss her when you first meet her ...
I've had experience of this - so you've got a woman's point of view here.
Sometimes, it can get really hard for a guy to approach a woman. And even if you do manage to get her on a date, the longer you wait to kiss her, the harder it is for you to make that move on her.
But you know what I've found the best way to deal with it is?
Kiss her immediately you start talking with her. Even if you end up not fancying her!
It gets that hurdle 'out of the way'. It stops any embarrassment. It gets rid of the tension that you might feel about doing it in the future with her.
Make a pact with yourself. You won't ask any woman out - on a date - unless you've kissed her first.
Ok, ok, ok. So, the thought of it is making you quake in your shoes ... "How the hell am I gonna be able to do that?!"
Well, here's how it is NOT done.
A passionate embrace
A smack on the choppers
A tender look in the eye and a brief touch of the lips
A French tongue
A wet one
A tonsil teaser
ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THOSE!
If you are a shy guy and you think about doing any of those you'll only squirm with embarrassment and it will all go horribly wrong.
Here is the big issue:
Your success with the ladies is to do things to them that your gut tells you is right FOR YOU.
Some guys think that kissing a woman needs courage or strength or guts or even 'gall' to go out on a limb and do what they've never done before. Especially if they fancy the girl.
But remember, girls like guys - and if you are playful and able to be open with the girls then they'll play back and be open with you.
So, lay all your fears aside for a few minutes - spot a woman you quite like the look of and say:
"Hi, I wanted to see what happened if I just walked up and started talking. I've only got five minutes…..I'm (make up a funny name)."
When she responds - in whatever way - remember it's only her response. It's not your fault if she turns into a bitch. If she smiles and gives you a cheeky or flirty response - great ... you're on your way.
So, how is it done?
Allow her to say a few words, feel it in your gut if she's 'responsive' to you.
Then smile (with your eyes) and make an excuse to leave for a few minutes (ask her if she wants a drink - say you've just seen your friends and you need to quickly say hello - even say you've got to go to the little boys room - anything just to get away)
Take her head in your hands
Lean in
And quickly - very briefly - touch her hair with your lips
This has got to be done in a fraction of a second - don't linger!
Leave her for a bit longer than five minutes. This might go against the grain. You might think you'll lose her attention, you might think that she's calling you a bastard behind your back.
But you'd be wrong to think those things.
She'll be more likely thinking about that touch. That brief kiss, that smile in your eyes, that funny name ...
And you know what - it creates an attraction for you.
You become strong in her eyes. You become courageous.
Do this a few times to different girls and - you don't even have to go back if you don't want to - it will become a habit.
The goal is - not to care how she responds. And to build your confidence - for when you do see a woman you really want to be with.
Go for it guys. Good luck!
Kaye -
Capricorn Men?
Are you a Capricorn man? I'd like to hear from you.
Tell me about yourself and your life.
I think I've met everyone under each other zodiac sign, but never a Capricorn ... so I'm intrigued!
Show yourself ... expose yourself. Give me what you got!
Kaye -
i got it!
Ha, I think I have finally got it - the secret to life, that is.
Live in the moment, for that is all we have.
I'm going to have some fun with life now.
Wanna join me?
kaye x -
Ewe Flu on the way?
According to the news bulletins:
"Two more people have been confirmed with the swine flu virus, taking the UK total to 122. The latest cases are both adults in England. One is from London and the second is from the East of England.
The Health Protection Agency said the source of infection for the two latest cases remains under investigation. Of the total UK cases, more than half (66) are in the London area. The latest diagnosis takes the total for the East of England to 12.
Margaret Chan, the head of the World Health Organisation (WHO) on Friday said swine flu was a "sneaky virus" which was likely to keep spreading. "This is a subtle, sneaky virus. It does not announce its presence or arrival in a new country with a sudden explosion of patients seeking medical care or requiring hospitalisation. We expect it to continue to spread to new countries and continue to spread within countries already affected."
Oh really?
Can anyone recall how many face masks the government ordered for us commoners?
Oh, and I do recall the pandemic that amounted to rather substantially less deaths than was anticipated from MAD COW DISEASE. And I certainly remember all those carcasses that were burning in heaps on acres of farmland …
And then there was the pandemonium about BIRD FLU. Do you remember that one? All those chickens that had to be slaughtered – Bernard Mathews was the most contented man in the country I presume (insurance-wise anyhow).
Now, don’t judge me for this, but I hesitate to ask … but I sincerely have to: are we to be fearful of EWE FLU next year? I would have thought of all the animals to get an infection from, with all the jokes flying around about this act our young men indulge in, we would have somehow, had this first. Or have we?
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I thought we couldn’t get cross-species contamination?
Something to ponder. -
Twizzle
“Your life is in your hands, but you must learn to gain control of your thoughts. All of your problems of fear, failure and doubts are because your MIND is ruling you. Your mind has taken over and you are the slave and victim of your uncontrolled negative thoughts. It is as simple as that. Take control of your mind and your thoughts. Every day, bit by bit, watch your thoughts.”
The Secret, Daily Teachings Rhonda Byrne
“Twizzle!” a good friend said that I should say it more often.
“Twizzle? What does that mean?” I asked, in all innocence.
For the past few weeks I’ve been stressing and worrying about other people’s thoughts - about me. There are certain things that I’ve said and done that I wish I could take back. But I can’t. What’s done is done. What’s said is said.
It’s not like me to worry overly much. I usually take on the positive point of view, irritatingly so. But, of late, I’ve gotten to anxiety attacks during the day, and sleepless nights filled with horrible dreams that I really cannot hope to fathom.
So, where’s my problem?
I realise there are many ‘problems’ with my sex, but there’s one in particular that jumps out at everyone: we (women) ruminate. We think a lot. We worry a lot.
About the world, our kids, our homes, our men, our clothes, our shape, and even our place in the world.
We worry that we’re not going to fit in. We are anxious that people are not going to like us, and that we won’t be accepted into the ‘group’. We worry, constantly, about what other people think about us. A lot.
Why? It’s in our nature. It’s instinct. We use our ‘creative right brain’ to gather facts, to see ahead, and we use words to help us get through each day. Sometimes those words are not right, sometimes they are downright clumsy, sometimes they blatantly get us into trouble – because we don’t watch what we say, it just comes out – and once it’s out, that’s it. It’s out.
But there is a scientific reason to why we worry and why we chatter. The reason is why we are afraid. Of everything.
Women have a very big need to feel safe. Women are (biologically) much weaker than a man. Our muscles and bones are not as strong, so our lack of physical strength determines that we need to feel safety within a group – or with an individual who will help make us feel safe. When we don’t feel safe, we worry and that makes us chatter.
If you find this hard to believe, then think back, say 40,000 years, when we were called those oh so familiar ‘hunters and gatherers’. If women were typically the gatherers and men the hunters, while the hunters were away women would need to survive in the bush, without the protection of the big strong hunter.
How could we survive on our own? If some nice big tiger came after us and our baby, there was no way we were going to win that battle. So we had to stay in groups.
To remain part of the group, we had to chatter. We had to gossip too. There’s a scientific reason for the nature of that gossip too. Gossip bonds us to the group. So, if a woman doesn’t indulge in gossip, or agree with another person within that group, what happens to her? She’s out of the ‘clique’. She’s not part of the group.
40,000 years ago, when we depended upon the group, not indulging in gossip was dangerous. Whereas, taking part in it, helped a women to survive. It still does (to a lesser extent) today.
But why the constant chatter? Well, if we were gathering food from bushes and plants in the fields, we had to scare away the creatures that hid in the bushes that we gathered from. And a way of scaring them away was to chatter - to warn them of our coming. Women’s lives (and the lives of the group we belonged to) depended on it.
So, bring that character trait forward 40,000 years – to today – and put it into context. Why do we chatter and gossip now? We don’t have to be part of the group. We don’t have to scare the creatures away.
Maybe it’s because the animal instinct (in our emotions) is telling us that we are frightened of something?
Why the anxiety? Why the worrisome ruminating? Why bring stress upon ourselves?
Anxiety, in itself, is not a bad thing – if used wisely (sports and businessmen use stress wisely when they are attempting to achieve a target or goal). Anxiety is a chemical response to a stressful situation. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s an animal instinct within us that tells us something is not quite right.
Therefore, worrying for a woman is a ‘healing’ thing. It’s a way that we ‘offload’ our anxiety. With the worrying comes the chattering, so there is no actual ‘point’ to the chattering - it’s an emotional thing - and women are all about emotions. As long as we are chattering, we’re offloading our emotional tension and helping the worries to ease – i.e. making sure the creatures in the bush are scattering fast away from us. It’s that ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response – it’s that gut instinct that helps us to survive.
The animal brain in our head can’t decide between a ‘real’ or an ‘imagined’ threat. So, it goes on the alert subconsciously. And if we are not aware of this – then we’ll use it till it tears us apart at the seams and causes all sorts of other problems.
And that’s what I’ve been doing of late. That’s where my problem is. I’ve been turning things over and over and over in my mind. Ruminating on imagined events, picturing horrible scenes and mapping out ugly pictures in my mind - ahead of the actual happening, worrying whether something is going to be said or done against me without having any solid proof.
Until this morning, when I woke and read that small paragraph about thoughts. And then I remembered my friend’s comment: “Twizzle!”
What does twizzle mean? It means … sticking one finger up to the situation/person/event, or whatever, and basically saying ‘sit on this’.
In other words ‘LET IT GO’.
As soon as I thought of those words, I eased up on my worrying. The fever in my head cooled and the sickening sensations in my gut calmed.
I released it.
It doesn’t matter what people think about us. That’s their judgement of us. And it might be a judgement that is not necessarily right. We may have said something, but meant it in a different way. We may have done something that was meant to be a gracious act. It doesn’t matter how another person perceives our actions, thoughts, words or deeds. As long as you know that you are doing it for the right reasons and intend no harm.
After all, we’re not in the bushes gathering berries anymore!
Think about it. We are on this planet for only a short time. During that short time, there’s no point in wasting time wondering about what other people think of us. We have a choice: we can either spend hours doing nothing, holding onto our own self-made pain and sink further into despair, or we can get on and do something that will make a difference – not only to our life, but to someone else’s life.
What I’ve said in this rather lengthy blog, Will Young sums it up in one song.
Let It Go
I have never been afraid of being alone
Somehow typical
Of being a man, I know
But I walk in the night
My body full of fright
Could I provide for you?
Everything you’ve ever wanted
Could I be the man I promised I would be?
And support you tenderly
Let it go, let it go
Cos it’s out of my control
Let it go, let it go
Don’t have to have it all
Grip so tight it shatters
The only thing that matters
Only got one life
Heaven knows
What I’m stressing for
I let it go
It’s the simple things in life
That bring me down
Like always being right
Needs to find someone
I’m running low on energy
The world keeps bugging me
And I keep thinking baby
Are we gonna stay together?
Can I really make a vow I’m never gonna keep?
See, that’s what’s bothering me
Let it go, let it go, let it go
Cos its out of my control
Let it go, let it go
Don’t have to have it all
Let it go, let it go
I know you always tell me I think too much
And all that stupid stuff
Well I fall in love
Let it go, let it go
Cos its out of my control
Let it go ... -
Loneliness
As soon as we are born, we are separate. We are ripped from the womb and our connection to another human being is cut at the cord – literally. That applies to every living thing on this planet (unless you can figure some out that are joined at the hip – apart from those who are … joined at the hip, head or heel through a bodily mis-hap in the womb – ok, let’s get off this subject).
So, the bottom line is, we are born to be an individual. A person in our own right.
Why then, is it so painful to experience loneliness?
Loneliness – an experience in and of itself – is not wrong. It’s the emotions that rise within us that cause the pain. The overwhelming surge of emptiness, as we stare at the floor a gaping black casm opens up before us. That ‘wanting’, that ‘needing’ – it doesn’t seem to go away. It grips your heart - and your stomach – and tickles it spitefully.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. There have been many times when I’ve enjoyed my alone-time. My ‘Me Time’. The time I use to re-coup and recharge my drained and flat batteries. I’ve even enjoyed it, found pleasure in my own thoughts, sights, sounds and aromas that enter the very being of me.
The worst type of loneliness is when you’re in a relationship and it’s dead. There’s no love there. No giving. No receiving. No tender touch in the quiet of night. And I’ve been there too. I’ve experienced that kind of forlorn emptiness.
The type of loneliness I’m experiencing of late, is an unbearable feeling of being apart from all those who I love. It is affecting me quite deeply. My skin hungers for the brush of hair against my fingers. A finger on my neck or the small of my back, sends shivers along my spine and I want to embarrassingly lean into it.
I don’t feel abandoned, or rejected. I’m not experiencing depression or insecurity. I’m not anxious and I don’t feel unworthy or that my life is meaningless. There is no resentment in my heart for those who have what I don’t.
My situation is quite odd.
I’m surrounded – daily – by hundreds of men (and to a lesser extent, women). Yet I don’t get to be with any of them.
I don’t think I’m an unloveable woman. I don’t have low-self-esteem.
I know quite a few people on this site that are lonely. They use the networking facility to chat to people who, ordinarily, would be out of reach. And I applaud their bravery.
Their loneliness has been useful in that it has seeminly led to some rather fantastic creative bursts that appear to be leading them into a brilliant future. Poems, paintings, photographs, music and writing. An outpouring of beautiful gifts presented to the world that would not have been shown to the light if it had not been for their loneliness urging them to make a connection with others.
I have Bud and Blue to keep me company. Bud forces me to go out into the open, come rain or shine. I’ve met some rather interesting people while out on adventures with my four legged pal. Blue, on the other hand, wakes me in the morning with his delightful little chirps – as he flies out of his cage and onto my pillow to nibble gently on my lashes, he also sits on my tray while I eat my TV dinner (in front of the laptop) and nicks the mash from my plate.
But, dear and valued though their company is, it doesn’t compensate for another human being. It cannot.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not yearning to any great capacity, for something that I can't have. I’m not desperate or dying because human touch is denied to me. Loneliness came to me early, so I guess I should know now how to cope with it. As a child, I was alone most of the time. After my parents divorced, I shoved myself into a world of written words, where people could not cause that painful pang of rejection and neglect to return again. Surrounded by sisters and brothers, I buried my mind in books – in stories of other lands and lives. Love in another kingdom, a kingdom where anything was possible, if you dreamt it to be that way. I withdrew from the real world.
I lived in a big city where, I am told, there are the loneliest people on the planet. Because of the big concrete buildings, the harsh realities of drugs and violence, people are seemingly cut off and out of life. They immerse themselves in crowds of black coats so they won’t be identified or singled out, or picked on.
There are more people living alone today than there ever has been throughout the history of mankind. Big statement. Perhaps a true one? Over a quarter of the American population live alone. That’s over 30 million by my reckoning (but I’ve always been crap at maths, so correct me if I’m wrong)!
I should be grateful. Many lonely people turn to alcohol (oops, better watch that my Strongbow consumption doesn’t get to be more than one can a week!). Loads of people lose sleep over it (I get more than my 8 hour allocation every night – apart from when Blue wakes me up with the dawn chorus). Men, who are lonely get to have a higher risk of heart disease – because of the higher levels of a chemical in their blood that leads to higher blood pressure. Why? Because men live longer when they are with a partner, than when they are alone. Women don’t. Or so I’m reliably informed.
Then I think of those who have been put into cell blocks that offer a punishment – isolation. Or even those who are in padded cells because of madness and insanity. Or those who have been snatched from the streets and taken as hostages or to work as slaves. Or those who are locked in their own little houses as they can’t get out – because of a phobia of some sort. Or even those go out into the desert, or ice caps or mountains, or those who bury themselves in the ground in order to ‘find’ themselves – alone. What gives there?
But if I’ve not experienced any of those debilitating illnesses (depression, anxiety, fear, phobias), I’ve not gone on a madcap adventure, and I'm not on a search to know who I am or where I belong or where I am – what am I supposed to do to take away this aching in my heart?
I understand the cause: I’m away from home, family, friends and I have no intimate relationship.
I understand the reasons: I decided to accept a new job.
I understand the symptoms: aching, overwhelming emptiness, tears, thoughts of being alone for the rest of my natural days on earth.
I understand I have a support system: my work, my employers, my animal friends
I understand I have opportunities: I’m joining the clay pigeon shooting club tomorrow, and the gym in two weeks time
I understand I have a wonderful doctor: I took on a course of ten sessions of accupuncture treatment a couple of days ago
I understand the universe is abundant with rich life that never stops moving: it has already given me what I’ve asked for, many times over. I only have to ask again, and I will receive.
So, what am I to do with this aching inside of me? How can I put a stop to these tears that keep falling without warning?
I need to understand that I am human and I have been told that loneliness is an important part of being human, to be alone, to experience the depths as well as the heights. It’s all part of the rich pattern of life.
It’s not the challenge, but the way you handle the challenge that defines the person you are.
So, we’re born alone, live alone and die alone. Shouldn’t we used to it by now?
Off to bury my mind in a film ... "Step Brothers" should neatly take me out of this serious frame of mind...
Kaye -
Stickers ...
Would you like to change your life?
Do you want great and wonderful things to happen for and to you and those you love?
Would you like to try?
First off, think of this. If you have children you'll be aware of the 'sticker' that a child gets when they achieve something - be it that they have simply been well-behaved or done their sums right ... a sticker is designed to give them a sense of pride and help them to know that they are on the right track.
Do you recognise that we still do this to ourselves, as adults?
We do something, then we look for approval. We say something - then we wait for the reaction.
We still look for the 'approval' sticker that people are going to give us for 'being good'.
I learned from my Godson and his special mum this weekend.
He came to her, grumbling, crying and whining ... she asked what was the matter.
"They said I was smelly!"
She looked him in the eye and asked him "Do you think you are smelly?"
His sobbing faltered and he wiped his eyes ... "No."
She answered, "There's no need to cry then."
We all think that what people say to us, or do to us is confirmed in concrete. It's true. We believe what they say is right. We constantly seek for others to validate our existence. We eagerly await someone to press upon our breast the sticker of approval.
But did you know you don't need to wait for that sticker?
You can do things for yourself that make you feel happy, and you don't have to wait for the judgement of others to validate that thought, word or deed we have achieved. If we think it's good, that should be good enough.
But how do we know it's right? How do we accept that what we have done, said or thought is good enough? By the excitement experienced in our gut; by that tingling sensation in our heart; by watching our eyes light up and our faces express a smile; by the relaxing of our muscles and noticing the calmness of our mind.
So, how do you get to do that when we are all conditioned to think badly of ourselves? To get rid of our negative thoughts that are constantly repeating themselves over and over again in the deep casms of our brain?
The answer lies in a little book called "The Key to Living the Law of Attraction" by Jack Canfield.
So, here goes. If you focus on what you do want, rather than what you don't want, then those good things will happen to you.
Shall we give it a go?
Write a line or two about the following:
1. the times i've felt the most alive and happy
2. what are my natural gifts?
3. what are my skills and talents?
4. what do i love to do?
5. when do i feel the most alive?
6. what am i passionate about?
7. what brings the greatest happiness to my life?
8. when do i feel the best about myself?
9. what are my personal strengths and characteristics?
10. what have others always said that i'm really good at?
11. how do i enjoy interacting with other people?
12. what would i change in teh world if it could?
Now, think of the common characteristics to the answers you have given.
Report back to me in a week what you've achieved and how good that has made you feel. And more importantly, if you've found yourself waiting for the sticker of approval.
kaye x -
Horse and Carriage
Horse and Carriage?
Would be nice if I could get the horse … cos this carriage ain't going no where! Always wanted one, but somehow it’s always eluded me.
What the hell am I talking about now?
Marriage and men. Again.
I’ve just travelled down a remarkably jam-free M1 and arrived at The Bull Hotel in GX – to find a wedding reception awaiting me. Not anyone I know you know.
I walked through the door and bumped into the bride. Beautiful dress. Not kidding. I could describe it, but you’d be bored.
After checking in, I hauled my bags up two flights of stairs (where’s a bell-boy when you need one
, then went out to collect more. I passed three lads on the way in and heard them say “here she comes again, she’s staying … go on!”
But no one said anything, even though I offered a friendly smile, they just looked up at me in that gawkish manner. Go on! My eyes urged - I’m dying to be flirted with!!! But no. Not a dicky bird. Strange that. I'm wondering if I give off an aura of ‘keep the fuck away, matey!’
Anyhow, the room is delightful; the surroundings Eden-like; the noise outside is jovial. It’s what a wedding reception should be like. She must be a well-liked bride. Ah, but I got to wondering if she and her brave man wondered about the future of their life as a partnership at all? Their future. Have they found out what relationships are all about?
It’s funny, because when I left Ashford, the couple next door were getting married. I left on the day of their nuptuals. If they make it to their first anniversary, I shall be very, pleasantly surprised. I’m not really cynical, and I truly wish the best for all. But they really didn’t know about how a relationship is supposed to work. So I think their rocky road is about to be stepped upon and the trouble and strife will get, possibly, insurmountable at times. But you never know. Stranger things have happened!
As for me … I can’t grumble. I don’t think I’m the marrying kind. I’ve never had an inkling to walk down the aisle in a white dress. All too preposterous for me to imagine. Don’t like being the centre of attention either. But to be fair, I have been asked. Three times. So I should be grateful. What I’m thinking about this day, is the underlying meaning of it for me personally.
At times I wonder “Where’s the point in it all?” I mean, where is it all leading to? What’s the secret to life, the universe and everything?
I think it's because I think I’m the wrong side of 45 now - the older end of my 40s. Even the flushes have begun in earnest, one per hour. It’s true, I’ve been counting them. And all the guys I meet are either married, divorced or not more than children themselves. So, dare I ask, is it all down hill from here on in?
My gratitude lies in the fact that I find myself find a job where I’m surrounded by men, the best kind too; soldiers, airmen and sailors - 24/7. So they are fit and willing to go the distance. But, unfortunately for me, they’re all a wee bitty too young. Even though they try to convince me that they’re not - they need no invitation to flirt - but I draw the line at 25! and when an 18 year old comes up with the smiley lines, I start to chuckle and wonder. Seriously. Even though I've been told it's not 'age' that's the issue anymore, it's 'vitality'.
Anyhow, on my journey down the M1, I was eating grapes in my car. While I was driving through that bit where you have to go 50 miles an hour, a car slowed down to drive beside me. A sporty Audi. A gunmetal grey one. Nice. What was even nicer was the guy inside it. Smiling at me as I ate. So, the devil took hold of my spirit and started to play games. Those grapes in my mouth made him feel so very special. Don’t worry, we did concentrate on the road ahead too, but it was fun!
Oh, and here comes another flush! It kind of slowly appears, like a mist taking hold of me, though I wish it were as cool. I’ve noticed that one draws upon me when I’m anxious or think I’ve forgotten something, but haven’t. It’s that kind of sensation – but prolonged and heated up tenfold. I’m getting used to them – even making a brave attempt at controlling them. Ha!
Anyhow, back to this thing about me and men and menopausal symptoms …
Weddings seem to have been pushing themselves in my face of late. I know it’s springtime and you see more of them around this time of the year, but even the car registrations have been giving me hints at what I haven’t got. I keep thinking “Is the Universe trying to tell me something?” Am I actually yearning after something that I think I'll never have now?
I try not to cry, but emotions get the better of me and for a few short seconds, uncontrollable tears wheel their way down my cheeks. Once I’ve had a little weep, they’re gone and I’m thinking about something else. I'll put it down to the menopause again. Even my mind seems to be changing a lot, very quickly and making vastly different decisions.
I envy men. I really do. Do you never get to experience anything like this? It can be quite frightening, scary and strangely exciting too. I don’t like it, but I do. It means I’m reaching the next stage of my life.
The end is dawning.
But it’s not scary. Sad, possibly, in a way that I haven’t had the chance to bear any children of my own, but there are enough in the world, so I can live without having had the opportunity to perform that deed.
If you think this blog is confusing, then don’t worry. I think you’re right. I’m in a strange place right now and I’m attempting to figure a way through, by learning new skills every minute that passes.
It’s because it’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m going into that daunting ‘change’ mode. We’ll see what tomorrow brings. The gift I’m hoping for is clarity!
kaye x -
Restrictions
Restrictions seems to be the theme of things of late. While I find myself living in paradise, it is a restricted one at that. Admittedly, I’m not as restricted as the guys I am serving, but my way of life has become quite, quite changed.
I am not in prison, but my life does seem to have been confined somewhat and I take heart when I compare my life to those who have voluntarily given up their freedom to serve the nation.
Even though I find myself ambling around a very large brick built house which has eight empty bedrooms and, seemingly, as many bathrooms, the ones I serve live in grey concrete blocks, four-men to a room. And, because I am not allowed to cook in the house (H&S laws strictly prohibits the oven's use), my meals are served to me in the main house. There, British tradition requires me not to wear track suits or jeans (never liked them anyway) and to sit at a huge highly polished oak table where my meal is presented on fine delicate china rimmed with gold plate and I handle polished silver cutlery that has a history going back eons. The other staff of this company, however, have their meals served 'below stairs' where they sit closely side-by-side on long benches. An outside catering company dishes up meals (the same meals, I must admit) on crockery that seems to have been bought from Tesco and they eat with stainless steel cutlery.
I am to do a six hour day, six day week, rotating with the other people that I work alongside which, although leaves little room for freedom of exploring the surrounding countryside, gives me ample time to focus on the other things that take up precious time in my life (dog, writing and studying!).
Strangely enough, the ultimate restrictive scenario presented itself to me tonight. As I was having dinner in the main house, one of the director's recommended that I might feel it pertinent to visit (on behalf of the company I work for) three of the chaps who had been thrown into jail for the duration of the Easter period and would probably need a little moral support.
They were his words, so I acted upon them and visited the 'jail house', where I was put in my place with the stern words “This is not your business.”
I can’t help but think, as I spend my Easter working, while others are free to go home and visit loved ones, that I am more free of restrictions than those three poor chaps are. I shall not complain for my lot. -
Women: do you need men?
Women: do you need men?
Men: do you need women?
Let me know what you think and feel about this - in a private message please - as i'll quote you in the blog being written about it (if you want to stay 'anon', then please state this).
kaye x
