Blog 34
Let's get this Party Started! Wooohooo!
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Google Wife
I really love Google!
There are so many things I half remember or just want to find out about.
So I was thinking maybe I should find a hot Google Girl to marry next.
And of Course we would get a Google Dog!
It surprises me sometimes the things I find out.
Like what you ask?
OK, there is a song on a CD that a friend gave me. Illegal Smile by John Prine
In the lyrics they mention "Judge Hoffman"
Not knowing what the reference was about I figured, hey, why not just Google him or her.
"Julius Hoffman (July 7, 1895 – July 1, 1983) was a Chicago, Illinois attorney and judge best known for his role in the Chicago Seven trial." Quite famous I see.
And wouldn't ya know it, right in the wikipedia description was:
"Hoffman's decisions and attitude towards the defendants and their counsel were thought to be particularly harsh, thus giving Hoffman notoriety as being Machiavellian. He even bound and gagged one of the defendants. As a result of this harshness, the folk artist, John Prine, derided him in his song Illegal Smile."
Who knew?
Ever come across anything kinda interesting like that?
PS, I found the frisbee! Thanks for the suggestion owlwmn!
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Divorce Update - Follow up
I thought I would bring you all up to speed on the results of the 4-way divorce meeting; Both of us and the two attorneys. Below is the content of my original blog for reference:
- Divorce Update:
Well tomorrow is a big day.
As you may be aware I have been in the process of divorce for two years.
We decided to take the Mediation route. Just needed help with a few particulars; alimony, retirement benefits, etc.
Took a while to find a mediator we both had confidence could do the job for us.
The mediator looked good out of the gate but then fell short in many ways. End result: we are firing her and going with an alternate process using our lawyers. It's called a 4 way.
The wife and I sit down together with our lawyers to work out the rest of the divorce agreement, picking up where the mediator left off. That is happening tomorrow.
I suspect it will be very tense at times. The wife and I have had some heated discussions about a few things.
My hope is that we can resolve everything in one session. That both of us come away feeling it has been fair. And there are no hard feelings.
So send good thoughts our way. Peaceful, calming, rational thoughts.
Thanks,
Neal
The meeting went well. We resolved all issues in one session.
I think it was a give and take and we are both happy with the result. Could have been a horror show in some areas as I mentioned originally. Everyone kept their cool. Both attorneys said it was the easiest 4 way sit down they ever had. Probably had to do with us beginning first with the mediator and having much already settled.
Now at least we both know what is happening going forward. Having a big question mark hanging over your head makes it difficult to plan one's future. Fear of a fight is no way to life. All you want is the other person to be reasonable.
Hopefully the stress is over and we can start healing from all that went on in the divorce process getting us to this point. It was not only the divorce details that caused issues but getting the house ready for sale. Not that those things are all over we can put it behind us and look forward to being "friends" again.
That's it for now.
Agreement gets written up. Everyone signs. Divorce gets filed.
Neal -
Divorce Update
Well tomorrow is a big day.
As you may be aware I have been in the process of divorce for two years.
We decided to take the Mediation route. Just needed help with a few particulars; alimony, retirement benefits, etc.
Took a while to find a mediator we both had confidence could do the job for us.
The mediator looked good out of the gate but then fell short in many ways. End result: we are firing her and going with an alternate process using our lawyers. It's called a 4 way.
The wife and I sit down together with our lawyers to work out the rest of the divorce agreement, picking up where the mediator left off. That is happening tomorrow.
I suspect it will be very tense at times. The wife and I have had some heated discussions about a few things.
My hope is that we can resolve everything in one session. That both of us come away feeling it has been fair. And there are no hard feelings.
So send good thoughts our way. Peaceful, calming, rational thoughts.
Thanks,
Neal -
No Panty Tueday
As I understand it, Bikers call it No Panty Tuesday.
Let's make it happen tomorrow!
I think it would be fun to all participate.
What do you think?
Anyone game?
What I'm not wearing!
We got folks in the UK playing - What Stalky_Stalkerson isn't wearing:
http://en.netlog.com/Stalky_Stalkerson/photo/ph...-
Show us your knickers! -
Three Wishes - The Classic Question
You've heard it before.
If you had three wishes what would they be? No wishing for more wishes.
I know what I would want for my First wish.
It would be a combo if that was allowed. I would want Knowledge, Intelligence and Wisdom. As much as I could have without side effects. You know how these wishes go. You ask for something and it backfires. Not sure exactly how to ask for the wish to make sure I got what I wanted but here is my goal:
With those three things I be in a much better position to choose my next two wishes. Why wish for things that you can accomplish yourself? With Knowlege, Intelligence and Wisdom, I believe, so much could be done at my own hand without the need to wish. I would use my next two wishes for something that really required the magic of wishes. And I would hopefully know what would give the most beneficial results for the inhabitants of this world. We don't want to make mistakes with our wishes like in the movie Bruce Almighty. He brings the moon closer and it has nasty effects on the weather. He lets everyone win the lottery and it causes caos. We want to Choose Wisely with our wishes. So for me the first wish is for myself so I may better make wishes on behalf of others.
What would you do?
Wisdom: the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight.
Knowledge: is defined (Oxford English Dictionary) variously as (i) expertise, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject, (ii) what is known in a particular field or in total; facts and information or (iii) awareness or familiarity gained by experience of a fact or situation.
Intelligence: Intelligence (also called intellect) is an umbrella term used to describe a property of the mind that encompasses many related abilities, such as the capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learn. There are several ways to define intelligence. In some cases, intelligence may include traits such as creativity, personality, character, knowledge, or wisdom. -
How will you be Remembered?
How will you be remembered?
Now I'm not talking about after you are dead and gone here.
An interesting thing happened on the way to work today. Running late as usual and no breakfast. Decided to go to the McDonalds drive through on the way to the office. The same one I go to anytime I am running late and want a quick breakfast. It's not a consistant thing by any means. Sometimes it comes in bunches but many times there are weeks inbetween visits.
As many of you may know last week I shaved off my Moustache. Wouldn't ya know it the woman who handed me my breakfast said "you look different". I thought it was so nice that she recognised me and remembered me enough to notice.
Let me ask you. Whether it be the drive through cashier, or the staff at the supermarket, or the folks at the local pizza place, are you remembered? Do you take time to really talk to the folks you interact with on a casual basis? Or are you flying by doing your business with not time but simple pleasantries?
I think it is nice to go the little bit extra. How much nicer is it to go through the world with a friendly face greeting you from the other side of the counter? Someone you can smile and maybe laugh with? I am alone and on my own a lot. Part of my personality but also part of my situation. I feel less alone and more connected with the world when I can go grocery shopping and feel like I am visiting friends at the same time.
Usually I am at SAMS Club by myself but went in one time with my wife. The woman at the door, who checks membership cards, greeted me personally and asked how I was doing and remarked how I had not been there for a while. The wife asked how I knew the woman at the door. I told her that I only knew her from SAMS Club. Think about how many people go in and out of a store like that in the days and weeks inbetween. It is so nice to come in and be remembered. And I suspect it is special for them that you remember them as well. I know it brightens my day.
So what are your experiences?
Neal -
I'm Perfect and I know Everything
I'm perfect and I know everything.
And where you aren't perfect or don't know something you deserve to be told so in a condescending and judgemental manner. I know everything about you and your situation and shame on your for doing what you do and thinking what you think. And you should feel bad about yourself for being the way you are! Everyone who behaves the way you do and thinks that way have the same reason for doing so and the motivations are less than admirable...
Well of course I'm not perfect and I don't know everything. Nobody is or does.
We each have our strong points and our areas of expertise. When we care to challenge the beliefs, practices or knowledge of another there is no room, in my opinion, for doing that in a negative manner.
Lots of people, I have observed, have a tough time communicating when they think, believe or would act differently than someone else.
Let's give people the benefit of the doubt. We are all a work in progress.
Sometimes we only do what we have learned. Say what we have grown up hearing. Do the best we can with the knowledge we have collected in our lives so far. Maybe we don't realize how our actions are affecting others. Or realize there could be another way to look at something or another way to act. And certainly would do differently if only given the choice and the knowledge.
Wouldn't we all like the courtesy of nicely being presented with another way to think, do or say things? Without the expectation that we will immediately see the light. Would we not want to know if our actions hurt someone else and be given the chance to apologise? Maybe we had no idea how our actions were being perceived even if incorrectly.
What is so wrong with opening up a dialogue with someone? Find out a little about them. Walk a mile in their shoes. Things, I have found, are rarely what they appear to be on the surface. Peoples motivations are varied. Maybe they have thought of something you haven't? Could be that you learn from each other. In the end, you might change your point of view. It might spark a change of thought in areas you never even considered. Each of you might come away thinking a little differently than when you started although still not exactly like one or the other. Maybe both will go away thinking just as they did at the start. But the seeds of change were planted. My guess is that is more likely to happen when communication happens in a positive light. When cornered and attacked, people will tend to dig their heals in and fight for their current opinion like a Mom protecting her cubs. They will not be open to learning and growing, then or in the future, in that kind of environment.
I write this because I see so much drama and negativity on this site when people disagree. Blogs written criticizing the actions of others. The tone is not humble. The words written do not lend themselves to open discussion with room for another opinion. They come out attacking and being critical right from the start. People seem to make generalizations using broad statements to stereotype the actions of others.
What might be true statements about some might be totally in approprate about another. The opinions written seem to be of an all or nothing, always or never theme. And written as fact rather than opinion.
My opinions are those of today. I am all about life long learning. With the thoughts of others and new things learned my opinons will change. So present your thoughts on this or anything else write, do or say in an open manner and give me the benfit of the doubt. Give me a chance to learn. And be open to learn something yourself. Get clarification on my thoughts before challenging them. Maybe we do indeed think the same but are saying things in different ways and don't understand each other.
What say you? -
Wedding Ring
- Quote
Where the Wedding Ring used to be
Happy Anniversary to me!
One year ago Today I decided to take my wedding ring off. It was about 10 months from the day I asked for a divorce.
What took me so long? She wasn't wearing hers even before I asked for the divorce. Now she had a reason that is logical. She couldn't wear it while she was working. Why did she not put it on after? She indicated that she was loosing it so she put it away safe. Logical enough.
I kept mine on, at least for a while, to honor the marriage. I did not regret they years together. I grew and learned so much. We just fell out of love and grew apart. And all the kings horses and all the kings men could not bring our relationship back together again. Try as I might to connect again and try to build the love back it wasn't going to happen. I did not, and do not wish her any ill will despite how frustrated I have become trying to finalize things; the sale of the house and the Marital settlement agreement (we are using a divorce mediator, the actual divorce comes later).
Funny how nobody noticed when it was gone. The only time I ever took it off was when swimming since it could slip off easily in the water.
Even after a year I still find my thumb rubbing where it was the way I used to play with it when I wore it.
What's that all about?
As much as I grew during the marriage, especially leading up to having the confidence to ask for divorce and face the future I have grown immensely during the divorce process which will mark it's two year anniversary in late July. We have already seen one wedding anniversary, two anniversaries of our first date and in 6 days two engagement anniversaries. Yes ladies I do remember these things.
Even though becoming very irritated at her going through this process my mind keeps focus on the learning experience. Finding ways to better ways communicate, learning to be even more empathetic and understanding than I have ever been (this is a hard process for her too), and looking towards the goal and what this means for me as a person and how it also prepared me for a better relationship / marriage with someone new. I learned a number of years ago that perspective can mean all the difference in how one feels and acts. She is not a vindictive, malicious person and she has a great heart. I don't think she is doing anything on purpose to make this difficult but it does seem that way at times. I think she is stuck and kinda I just need to see it through without getting angry or acting in a nasty way so she can get to the other side of this process and know for herself that she will be OK. I said from the start that I wanted to be able to hold my head up high after it was all over and all the emotions settled down. Knowing I did the very best I could with honor and integrity. Yes it is a fight with myself and takes a great deal of effort to see my way clearly to act in such a manner. Lots of discussions with friends and therapists to sort it out and gain a healthy perspective, attitude and to see a calm clear way to handle things and to treat her the way we would all want to be treated; with respect.
Friends think I am crazy and say they would be ranting and raving and causing a fuss. That's just not my style. I don't like conflict but have learned to be firm in a nice way and to not allow myself to be stepped on. Taken advantage of in a fashion? Maybe. But at my own choosing because in the end it is for the greater good. I CHOOSE to do the things I do, it's not I HAVE TO because that just causes resentment and anger. I don't want that.
Now that is quite a bit all brought on by a ring.
But I thought some of you might want to know a "little" about my situation. And this only really scratches the surface.
Cheers,
Neal -
Are you a Screamer?
Be honest!
- T-Shirt from Amusement park:
But of course there is that suggestive meaning too! Wink, Wink!
I've never been with a Screamer. I do think the sound of a woman in ecstasy is so erotic.
Now you may know I have a sick sense of humor.
When I was visiting friends in Florida we went to see them bowl in their league.
On the other team was a woman that just showed no emotion what so ever.
She would take her turn. Walk down the lane, throw the ball. Watch. Turn around and walk back to her seat with no reaction at all; strike, gutter ball, split, didn't matter. Dead.
So I whisper to my friend who was also watch: I'll bet in bed she is a Screamer! LMAO!
Are you a screamer? Are you quiet? Somewhere in-between?
My roommate years ago had a screamer. I heard her from the parking lot at the apartment even with all the windows closed. When they heard the door close all of a sudden the moans were muffled. Obviously a pillow was place over her mouth!
Got any good stories? -
Then and Now
It's nice to see the same place years later basically untouched and unchanged.
Here is the before:
- Taken back in the 1970s:
And here is the after:
- Taken last weekend:
My how that pine tree has grown!