Sakura_Girl18
female - 19 years, Canada
Blog / Tags / funny
Blog messages with the tag 'funny':
-
Granny's Letter
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice followed by a powerful prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus; because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the nice man behind started honking like crazy, and he leaned out of his
window and screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for the Lord.
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there, because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another man waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was an Hawaiian good luck sign or
something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing; why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So I waved to all my sisters and brothers, smiled at them all, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out
of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Share Granny's letter with your friends
Love and Blessings, -
bad day at work think of this guy
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day. -
would you :P
kiss me?
smex me?
love me?
lick me all over?
hug me content?
touch me?
smack my ass?
give me a hicke? -
Sexy test
Do iI look like a good kisser?
[] yes
[] no
Do I look like i would be a good fuck?
[] yes
[] no
Am I?
[] sexy
[] fine
[] cute
[] alryt
[] ugly!
Do you think i still have my virginity?
[] yes
[] no
[] dont know!
I look like..
[] a player
[] one time thing
[] next bf/gf
If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?
[] Yes
[] No
Would you rather..
[] hook up with me
[] cuddle with me
[] have sex with me
[] date me
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me..
[] 1
[] 2
[] 3
[] 4
[] 5
[] 6
[] 7
[] 8
[] 9
[] 10
Are you going to repost this so i can answer for YOU?
[] yes
[] no
what would you want me to be to you?
[] friend
[] fuk buddy
[] girl friend /boy friend
[] wifey
[] friend
-
Would you.....?
FILL IT OUT :]]
Y= Yes; N = No;
would you......
[] Push me into a wall and kiss?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Hit Me?
[] Makeout with me right now?
[] Kiss Me?
[] Let Me Kiss You?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Do me?
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Stand up for me?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Make me smile?
[] Text me?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
Do You...
[] Miss Me?
[] Think I'm Sexy?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want to do "other" things with me?
Am I...
[] Smart?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Loveable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Amazing?
[] Hott?
[] Someone you like?
Have You Ever...
[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?
[] Laughed at me?
Are You...
[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me
[] Wanting me to tell you all these things? -
ME:Virgo: the Whore
V IRGO:
The Whore
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.Great kisser. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO
The lover
Can be mean somtimes, and will Probably knock your ass out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA
The sex addict
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna fuck with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.Rare 2 find. Funny. Talkitive. Erotic. Smart. loves sports. gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES
The Sexiest
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to fuck with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships. Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
AQUARIUS:
Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock the shit out of u. The best and biggest freak in bed! Considered to be a "G". 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI:
Ultra Sexy
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.Horny. Freak in Bed. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO:
wild in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at a lot. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER:
Most Amazing Kisser
Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES:
The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN:
The passionate Lover
Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, awesome kisser.gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS:
The Freak in bed
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ...u no!..... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to fuck with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS.
The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
Aries March 21 - April 20
Taurus April 21 - May 21
Gemini May 22 - June 21
Cancer June 22 - July 22
Leo July 23 - August 23
Virgo August 24 - September 23
Libra September 24 - October 23
Scorpio October 24 - November 22
Sagittarius November 23 - December 21
Capricorn December 22 - January 20
Aquarius January 21 - February 19
Pisces February 20 - March 20 -
What my name means.
N- So Hott
I- Love is something you deeply believe in
C- You're wild and crazy
K - You like to try new things
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for
R = Fuckin Sexy.
E= You have a nice ass.
G= You have a very good personality and looks.
I = Love is something you deeply believe in
N = So Hott
E = You have a nice ass.
Copy and Paste the below to your blog and show everyone what ur name meanz!
A- damn good kisser
B- You fall in love quickly
C- You're wild and crazy
D- You have one of the best personalities ever
E- You have a nice ass.
F- People totally adore you
G- You have a very good personality and looks.
H- You never let people tell you what to do.
I- Love is something you deeply believe in
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things
L- You are beautiful
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- So Hott
O- You are one of the best in bed.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Fuckin Sexy.
S- You're loyal to those you love
T- so sexy.
U- You are really chill.
V- You are not judgemental
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You can be really random at tyms
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for
Z- You like it in the butt very very hard -
Grade Me!! ^_^
Grade me &+ be honest
F = uhh your ugly
D = your parents must be hated
C- = You're just someone I don't want to talk to, okay?
C = You're okay looking, but u need work...
C+ = You're just average
B- = Your kinda cute and ur cool i guess
B = You're cute. And you're a pretty interesting person.
B+ = Pretty dang attractive. I'd hit that.
A- = You're extremely attractive, and you're awesome.
A = YOUR SEXXXAY!!
A+ = ... will u go out with me [seriously]
A++= will you marry me
A+++=wanna kiss me in the rain
you are afraid of what people think of YOU if you don't post this!!!!!
Reply to me the grade you think I deserve. -
More question??? 0_o
Would you rather..
[ ] Do me
Or
[ } Date me
Would you rather be on top or bottom?
[ ] Top
[ ] Bottom
Would you makeout with me?
[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ] already have
Do I have gorgeous eyes?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Would you be sad if I moved away?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Would you come visit me?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
Would you sleep with me?
[ ] In an instant! [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe
Am I attractive?
[ ] Heck no [ ] hot as Hell [ ] Fine [ ] Cute [ ] Okay [ ] Ugly!
Would you love me?
[ ] To death [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] As a friend [ ] Already do
Do you think I'm a virgin?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
I look like..
[ ] A player
[ ] a wife/husband
[ ] One time thing
[ ] Next bf/gf
[ ] A friend
[ ] A friend with benefits
[ ] A possibility
[ ] A loser
[ ] A stud
If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?
[ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] maybe
Would you rather.. ??
[ ] Hook up with me
[ ] Cuddle with me
[ ] Date me
[ ] Friends
[ ] Friends with benefits
[ ] marry me
[ ] have sex
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me..
[ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] 7 [ ] 8 [ ] 9 [ ] 10
What would you want me to be to you?
[ ] Friend
[ ] Girlfriend/Boyfriend
[ ] Friend with benefits
[ ] Husband/Wife
Would you give me a lap dance?
[ ] Hell Yea [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe
If you had a chance to tell me something, what would it be? -
How old do you think I look?
Alright many people say i look 12 but i am not so the question
how old do you think i am
-12
-13
-14
-15
-16
-17
and tell the truth.
