QueenOfYourSilentSuffocation

female - 20 years, like u care, Jordan
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Blog 14


  • The Kill - 30 seconds to Mars

    What if I wanted to break
    Laugh it all off in your face
    What would you do?
    What if I fell to the floor
    Couldn't take this anymore
    What would you do, do, do?

    Come, break me down
    Marry me, Bury me
    I am finished with you

    What if I wanted to fight
    Beg for the rest of my life.
    What would you do?
    You say you wanted more
    What are you waiting for
    I'm not running from you

    Come, break me down
    Marry me, bury me
    I am finished with you
    Look in my eyes
    You're killing me, killing me!
    All I wanted was you

    I tried to be someone else
    But nothing seemed to change
    I know now: this is who I really am inside
    I Finally found myself
    Fighting for a chance
    I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM

    Come, break me down
    Marry me, bury me
    I am finished with you, you, you
    Look in my eyes
    You're killing me, killing me!
    All I wanted was you
    Come, break me down
    Break me down
    Break me down

    What if I wanted to break...? (You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? (marry me) I'm not running from you...)
    What if I, what if I, what if I... (bury me, bury me)

  • A RAPE STORY

    You are one sick person if you dont repost this i feel for you if
    this doesnt touch you because this is just wrong. read this.

    its disgusting

    Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
    My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
    He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
    Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

    "Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
    Their breathe spirts weep
    "Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
    He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

    His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
    Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
    I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
    They look at one another; nod; something planned

    I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
    "Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
    But there grip is to strong for weak me
    I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

    His fingers going up me; pulling away
    His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
    His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
    Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
    No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
    Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
    I try and scamper away, but im not fast
    "O Daddy please, i love you"

    His friend; pulling at my nightie
    And my Dad pulling my pants down
    His friend pinning my hands to the floor
    As my Dad lies himself on the ground

    I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
    And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
    I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
    "O Daddy please you win you win!"

    I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
    I can feel the blood seep down my leg
    "Daddy your hurting me please"
    I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

    Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
    His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
    Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
    "Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

    They smile at one another; laugh to
    They roll me over and spread me wide wel
    My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
    While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

    I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
    I cough and splutter; cry and weep
    I beg and plead; but its no use
    Theyve already made me hurt and bleed

    I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
    This is not my Dad; where is he?
    If he was still here; would he care
    Would he actually even; see?

    Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
    My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
    They play with them selfs; all over me
    Rub it in; making me feel the shame

    "Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
    Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
    "Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
    "Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

    He puts my nightie on me
    He walks me to my bedroom door
    Ever since that night; His friend
    And himself every Friday come back for more

    "Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
    Closing the door, tears still down my face
    Still the smell of him and his friend
    Fade into me like disgrace

    I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
    "Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
    I cant help but cry; weep in pain
    Because im so scared he wanted more

    But one night daddy took it too far
    Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
    They were worried they would get caught
    So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot

    I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
    "Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
    Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
    After that i tried to put up a fight

    I begged daddy "Please no more!"
    All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
    Daddy unblindfolded me at last
    He said I love you so much

    He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
    "Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
    I was dead
    After only one swing..........................

    **... Please if you care for all the children and women who have been raped
    repost this bulletin with the Headline A RAPE STORY

    If you do not repost this you are promoting rape and violence! YOU PERVERT! GOD SHOULD NOT FORGIVE YOU!!!!!!!

  • Nymphetamine

    Laid to the river
    Midsummer, I waved
    A "V" of black swans
    On with hope to the grave
    And though Red September
    With skies fire-paved
    I begged you appear
    Like a thorn for the holy ones

    Cold was my soul
    Untold was the pain
    I faced when you left me
    A rose in the rain....
    So I swore to the razor
    That never, enchained
    Would your dark nails of faith
    Be pushed through my veins again

    Bared on your tomb
    I'm a prayer for your loneliness
    And would you ever soon
    Come above onto me?
    For once upon a time
    From the binds of your lowliness
    I could always find the right slot for your sacred key

    Six feet deep is the incision
    In my heart, that barless prison
    Discoulours all with tunnel vision

    Sunsetter...
    Nymphetamine

    Sick and weak from my condition
    This lust, this vampyric addiction
    To Her alone in full submission

    None better...
    Nymphetamine

    Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
    Nymphetamine girl.

    Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
    My Nymphetamine girl.

    Wicked with your charm
    I'm circled like prey
    Back in the forest
    Were whispers persuade
    More sugar trails
    More white lady laid
    Than pillars of salt...
    (keeping Sodom at at bay)

    Fold to my arms
    Hold their mesmeric sway
    And dance her to the moon
    As we did in those golden days

    Glistening stars
    I remember the way
    We were needle and spoon
    Mislaid in the burning hay

    Bared on your tomb
    I'm a prayer for your loneliness
    And would you ever soon
    Come above onto me?
    For once upon a time
    From the bind of your holiness
    I could always find the right slot for your sacred key

    Six feet deep is the incision
    In my heart, that barless prison
    Discoulours all with tunnel vision

    Sunsetter...
    Nymphetamine

    Sick and weak from my condition
    This lust, this vampyric addiction
    To Her alone in full submission

    None better...
    Nymphetamine

    Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
    Nymphetamine girl.

    Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
    My Nymphetamine girl.

    -Nymphetamine
    Cradle of filth

  • Sweet Sacrifice

    It's true, we're all a little insane
    But it's so clear
    Now that I'm unchained

    Fear is only in our minds
    Taking over all the time
    Fear is only in our minds
    But it's taking over all the time

    You poor sweet innocent thing
    Dry your eyes and testify
    You know you live to break me - don't deny
    Sweet sacrifice

    One day I'm gonna forget your name
    And one sweet day,
    You're gonna drown in my lost pain

    -Sweet Sacrifice
    Evanescence-

  • Try Not To Cry

    IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART...

    Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
    He told his friends that it was cool,
    And when he pulled the trigger back,
    It shot with a great crack.
    Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
    I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
    But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
    I never said good-bye,
    I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
    When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
    And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
    Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
    And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
    And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
    And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
    And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
    Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
    Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
    And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
    Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
    Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
    And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
    I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
    Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
    But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest;
    Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
    When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
    I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
    I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
    I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
    I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
    But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
    Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
    I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
    And Mommy all I say is, "Mommy, I love you."

    In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

    Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

    --Now you have 2 choices:
    1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"
    2) Don't send it, and you have just proven

  • You....

    I needed to shout so loud, but i couldnt..so i cried instead. But i didnt only cry..i also turned around in my bed under the white sheets pulling my hair and hitting my face. The music i was listening to was loud and depressing so it didnt help in getting me out of the mood i was in. After i was done i held my pillow and noticed that it was so wet..it was like it had been washed and was still wet...but it wasnt wet because of water..the wetness came from tears...i didnt realize that i had cried so much. i sat still in my place, shattered and confused about what had happened. i then looked at myself in the mirror beside me finding the refelction of myself being torn apart...torn apart becasue of you.........
    Then it happened again, i started pushing down on my teeth so hard it hurt and something suddenly ripped through me remembering that every dream, every fantasy i had about you and me is gone ...

    ------taken from story

  • Child Abuse

    My name is Chris
    I am three
    My eyes are swollen
    I cannot see
    I must be stupid
    I must be bad
    What else could have made
    My daddy so mad?
    I wish I were better
    I werent ugly
    Then maybe my mommy
    Would still want to hug me
    I cant do a wrong
    I cant speak at all
    Or else Im locked up
    All day long
    When Im awake
    Im all alone
    The house is dark
    My folks arent home
    When my mommy does come home
    I'll try and be nice
    So maybe ill just get
    One whipping tonight
    I just heard a car
    My daddy is back
    From Chariles bar
    I hear him curse
    My name is called
    I press myself
    Against the wall
    I try to hide
    From his evil eyes
    Im so afraid now
    Im starting to cry
    He finds me weeping
    Calls me ugly words
    He says its my fault
    He suffers at work
    He slaps and hits me
    And yells at me more
    I finally get free
    And run to the door
    He's already locked it
    And i start to bawl
    He takes me and throws me
    Against the hard wall
    I fall to the floor
    With my bones nearly broken
    And my daddy continues
    With more bad words spoken
    'Im sorry', i scream
    But its now much to late
    His face has been twisted
    To an unimaginable state
    The hurt and the pain
    Again and again
    O please God, have mercy!
    O please let it end!
    And he finally stops
    And heads for the door
    While i lay there motionless
    Sprawled on the floor
    My name is Chris
    I am three
    Tonight my daddy
    Murdered me
    And you can help
    Sickens me to the soul
    And if you read this
    And dont pass it on
    I pray for your forgiveness
    Because you would have to be
    One heartless person
    To not be effected
    By this Poem
    And because you are effected
    Do something about it
    So all i ask you to do
    Is pass this on
    IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
    PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THEN PASS IT ON

  • Wall of Shame

    Breathe in the vapors of your lies
    Just when you're choking on them
    These thoughts are spinning 'round your head

    Now your falling just to fall away
    It is hard....

    Wall of Shame-Course of Nature

    <3 <3

  • Remember...

    Wherever you go, remember ...you're there

  • .....

    You have not lived until you've found someone ...Worth dying for...

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