Blog 14
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The Kill - 30 seconds to Mars
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
Come, break me down
Marry me, Bury me
I am finished with you
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life.
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you
Come, break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me!
All I wanted was you
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now: this is who I really am inside
I Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM
Come, break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me!
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down
What if I wanted to break...? (You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? (marry me) I'm not running from you...)
What if I, what if I, what if I... (bury me, bury me) -
A RAPE STORY
You are one sick person if you dont repost this i feel for you if
this doesnt touch you because this is just wrong. read this.
its disgusting
Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends
"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps
His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned
I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?
His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"
His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground
I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"
I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg
Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans
They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside
I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed
I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?
Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame
"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"
He puts my nightie on me
He walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more
"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace
I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more
But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot
I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight
I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much
He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing..........................
**... Please if you care for all the children and women who have been raped
repost this bulletin with the Headline A RAPE STORY
If you do not repost this you are promoting rape and violence! YOU PERVERT! GOD SHOULD NOT FORGIVE YOU!!!!!!! -
Nymphetamine
Laid to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A "V" of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And though Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain....
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.
Wicked with your charm
I'm circled like prey
Back in the forest
Were whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(keeping Sodom at at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Glistening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your holiness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.
Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.
-Nymphetamine
Cradle of filth -
Sweet Sacrifice
It's true, we're all a little insane
But it's so clear
Now that I'm unchained
Fear is only in our minds
Taking over all the time
Fear is only in our minds
But it's taking over all the time
You poor sweet innocent thing
Dry your eyes and testify
You know you live to break me - don't deny
Sweet sacrifice
One day I'm gonna forget your name
And one sweet day,
You're gonna drown in my lost pain
-Sweet Sacrifice
Evanescence- -
Try Not To Cry
IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART...
Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest;
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I say is, "Mommy, I love you."
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
--Now you have 2 choices:
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven -
You....
I needed to shout so loud, but i couldnt..so i cried instead. But i didnt only cry..i also turned around in my bed under the white sheets pulling my hair and hitting my face. The music i was listening to was loud and depressing so it didnt help in getting me out of the mood i was in. After i was done i held my pillow and noticed that it was so wet..it was like it had been washed and was still wet...but it wasnt wet because of water..the wetness came from tears...i didnt realize that i had cried so much. i sat still in my place, shattered and confused about what had happened. i then looked at myself in the mirror beside me finding the refelction of myself being torn apart...torn apart becasue of you.........
Then it happened again, i started pushing down on my teeth so hard it hurt and something suddenly ripped through me remembering that every dream, every fantasy i had about you and me is gone ...
------taken from story -
Child Abuse
My name is Chris
I am three
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see
I must be stupid
I must be bad
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I werent ugly
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else Im locked up
All day long
When Im awake
Im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
Im starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words
He says its my fault
He suffers at work
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more
I finally get free
And run to the door
He's already locked it
And i start to bawl
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken
'Im sorry', i scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
To an unimaginable state
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me to the soul
And if you read this
And dont pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be effected
By this Poem
And because you are effected
Do something about it
So all i ask you to do
Is pass this on
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
PLEASE COPY AND PASTE THEN PASS IT ON -
Wall of Shame
Breathe in the vapors of your lies
Just when you're choking on them
These thoughts are spinning 'round your head
Now your falling just to fall away
It is hard....
Wall of Shame-Course of Nature
<3 <3 -
Remember...
Wherever you go, remember ...you're there
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.....
You have not lived until you've found someone ...Worth dying for...
Please wait...
