Woman: The chemical Analysis
(*) Element ...........Woman
(*)Symbol ................ Wo
(*)Atomic weight.... 118 but known to vary between 105 - 175
(*)Discoverer ....:...... Adam
(*)Occurrence ............. Copious quantities in all urban areas with slightly lower concentration in suburban and rural areas subject to seasonal fluctuations.
A) surface usually covered with painted film
boils at nothing freezes without reason
C) melts if given special treatment
D) bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches handle with care
E) found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to common ore
F) yields to pressure applied to correct points.
A) has great affinity for gold silver platinum and many precious stones
absorb great quantities of expensive substance
C) may explode spontaneously if left alone on date
D) insoluble in liquids but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point
E) repels cheap materials, neutral to common sense
F) most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
(*)Highly ornamental especially in sports cars
(*)Can greatly increase relaxation levels
(*)Can warm and comfort under some circumstances
(*)Can cool things down when its too hot
(*)Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
(*)Then turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
(*)Highly dangerous except in experienced hands use extreme caution when handling
(*)Illegal to possess more then one
Reports from yesterday's Valentine activities in NIGERIA
Condom sales: 1million%
Unofficial Girls known: 68%
Assumed Boyfriends: 81%
Wives caught cheating: 44%
Husbands caught cheating: 79%
Fast food sales: 100%
Night Club's sales: 205%
Joints n cool spot's sales: 300%
Girls in hospitals over 62%
Boys in hospitals over 106%
Girls arrested 4 fighting ova boys: 88%
Guys arrested 4 fighting ova girls: 50%
Wives beating up husband in public: 12%
Husbands beating up wives in public: 90%
Compiled by national population commission & international observers
Ebuka told his Oga at the shop to wait at the gate and pick him up after
His Commerce exam at the Commercial Secondary school where he was
He was given Commerce Exam question paper and the only question he could
Answer was question number 3 and it says:
''Differentiate between a Warehouse and a Shop.''(20marks)
After much thinking he smiled and wrote his answer:
Warehouse is at Ojota while shop is at Alaba.
Then he submitted his paper and went to meet his Oga at the gate.
Oga : Ebuka , how did it go?
Ebuka: It was so simple Oga, question number three
Says: Differentiate between a warehouse and a
Oga : And what did you write ?
Ebuka: Well I wrote that warehouse is at Ojota while shop
Is at Alaba.
Oga : So is that all you wrote ?
Ebuka : Yes .
Oga : Common go back and put the phone numbers and
Complete address, stupid boy!
That's how you lose customers, idiot!!!:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
(Is represented as...)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Friendships come and friendships go like wave upon the sand,like day and nite,like birds in flight,like snowflakes when they land..but you and i are somethingelse,our friendship is here to stay like weeds and rocks and dirty socks..it never goes away.!
Pastor keeps chicken at his church premises,one evenin a cock went missin,in d church d pastor asked.who hs a cock? All d men gt up, no i meant who hs seen a cock,all d women gt up,"no no who hs seen a cock dat isnt theirs? Half of d women gt up.."oh 4 goodness sake,who hs seen mycock? All d choir girls got up!