Blog 29
TO REALIZE.................
WE ALL NEED TO LOOK DEEP WITHIN........TO REALIZE
-
Four BoyFriends..............
Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends.
She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.
She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.
The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him.
One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'
Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.
His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.
The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!'
Her heart sank and turned cold.
She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me.
When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'
His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.
Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'
The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'
In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:
Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.
Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.
Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.
And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul.
Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.
Thought for the day:
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
Pass this on to someone you care about - I just did.
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
I hope this touched you! -
Funny Blonde Jokes
Funny Blond Jokes! Gotta love em!
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...
Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida??????
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show
it
to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to
the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,
"You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - (my personal favorite)!
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed;
Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made
her
scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel
was
knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said,
"We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.
"You can't land on th e sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you
are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one
was
named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
someone
naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" -
WHAT COMES AROUND.......GOES AROUND
What comes around goes around ~
One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road,
but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he
pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still
sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had
stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He
didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the
cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put
in you.
He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the
car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.'
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was
bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the
jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change
the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window
and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and
was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming
to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much
she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already
imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not
stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job
to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were
plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole
life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next
time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the
assistance they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a
cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home,
disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in
to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last
leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were
two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress
came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a
sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't
erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant,
but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady
wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger.
Then she remembered Bryan .
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar
bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar
bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by
the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady
could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote:
'You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped
me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here
is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.'
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people
to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when
she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how
much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was
going to be hard....
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next
to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low,
'Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'
There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.' Today, I
sent you this story and I'm asking you to pass it on... Let this light
shine.
Don't delete it, don't return it. Simply, pass this on to a
friend.
Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you
know they are always there.
'nuff said.... -
Truth about Men...........
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know - it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !
One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q : What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
--------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- -
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
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Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it! -
THE BEST POEM EVER...........
The Best Poem Ever
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights, nor its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, and the trash...
There stood that kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought,
would be rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I'd love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?"
God must've made a mistake.
"And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Please, give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He, "they're all in shock;
No one thought they'd be seeing you."
JUDGE NOT. -
DANGEROUS VIRUS..........
MUST READ!
Dangerous Virus
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and
by hand.
This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you
receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any
means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life
completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two
good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as
Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from
your system.
You should forward this warning to 5 friends.
If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is
controlling your life. -
Ultra Sexy-Capricorn............
Once you have opened this bulletin, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then repost this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label. If u dont repost this, u will have bad luck for as long as it says in your description!!
V • I • R • G • O: The Sex Fiend
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.Great kisser. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
S • C • O • R • P • I • O: The Freak in bed
Can be mean somtimes, and will Probably knock your ass out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
L • I • B • R • A: The sex addict
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna fuck with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.Rare 2 find. Funny. Talkitive. Erotic. Smart. loves sports. gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
A • R • I • E • S: The Sexiest
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to fuck with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.
Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
A • Q • U • A • R • I • U • S: Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock the shit out of u. The best and biggest freak in bed! Considered to be a "G". 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
G • E • M • I • N • I: Ultra Sexy
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.Horny. Freak in Bed. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
L • E • O: wild in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at a lot. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
C • A • N • C • E • R: Most Amazing Kisser
Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
P • I • S • C • E • S: The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
C • A • P • R • I • C • O • R • N: The passionate Lover
Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible, awesome kisser.gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
T • A • U • R • U • S: The Lover
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ...u no!..... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to fuck with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
S • A • G • I • T • T • A • R • I • U • S. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost -
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. -
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. -
TO KILL AN AMERICAN............
Written by an Australian Dentist...and too good to delete....
To Kill an American
You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . So they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)
"An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.
An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.
In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.
An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.
The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.
When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!
As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least.
The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.
Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.
So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Please keep this going!
Pass this around the World ?
Then pass it around again.
It says it all, for all of us
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Accept graciously and humbly, but always be a giver not a taker