Digital_Darius
male - 18 years, San Francisco, United States
Blog 45
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god damn it!
There are things you wouldn’t understand about me, though I will try to be as open as I can.
Did, or have, you ever felt like you might never me the person you admired most? Because when I look at her, I feel like I am nothing. I feel like my skin is painful for others to see, like I’m a joke, like I will never walk on the same heavenly clouds she does. And I’m supposed to be her best friend. The boy who’d never tough her, hurt her, or envies of her. I’m supposed to be the exception to every rule known to man. I’m the freak next to the beauty queen, the mutant next to the goddess.
Maybe I tried to me like her, I put on a dress and think myself a pretty girl when I hansom boy. I hate my reflection. I hate that my ideal of beautiful of a woman, because I would like to be beautiful, captivating, loved. And that is the ideal woman, something only a pill could make me.
Fuck this SHIT! I’m sick of it. Girls make me sick, their vain personalities and stuck up, manipulative ways! GOD Damn, how lost can I be. Is it love or hate? I can never way no to then and I fell for them every single time, the thing is- you always know when you’re about to crack you head open on the pavement before you jump for it. -
Bloody hell
I'm fucking sick of work! And My bloody sister and her.... No, My sister is awsome. I'm just so beat.
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And so,
Life's gone to hell. But I'm reallying feeling good about things.
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Hello my old friend
I've been a lot of places this year. But I think I really love where I live, SFO. And in all my travels, I've found things I lock in my brain to keep forever, but I really love home, with my abusive family and all. I'm not saying I'm masochistic, but I just know that this is where it's all at you dig?
The sunset never looked more natural then from the roof of our shed over looking the great freezing Pacific Ocean. The wind though my hair was never as wild and pressing on my body then at the tops of these hills under single, stand alone, immense tree, casting it’s shadow down on the tall grass under it and the valley where the horses are kept.
I’d rather not go on as I am of the age to be thinking of things as “cool” and “not cool.”
But as much as I enjoyed Asia and Europe, I like California the most.
America, The fucking BEAUTIFUL, and don’t you forget it.
We maybe filled with narrow minded fools, but this land will always take my breath way. -
Abusive love
Do I really need to say it?
I love you.
I love you more then the heart you stepped on,
Because I gave it to you, and if stepping on it made you happy, then I’ll live with that.
But don’t expect compassion or a tender kiss when you come for me to hold you.
Don’t expect sincerity to beam out my ass (eyes) when you ask me if you’re cute.
Don’t tell me you’re sorry.
Because you enjoyed my pain, and I’ll return the favor,
Because I love you.
I love you because there’s on one I’d rather see chained up to the bed post then you.
Because I relish the though of you screaming
The thought of you suffering in ways that made you feel so alive, all the wail killing you inside.
You like to hurt-I like to hurt, don’t we make the perfect pair of sinners? -
Life (poem)
Life is the rhythm of a heart beating to the sound of a song in your head.
What we are now is but a fraction of who we were then-
And now we compare ourselves to the miss-perfect-fits no day time television-
Invasion a world where We The People can scream to the heavens as we look down on them from the stars!
Hear me, come, let me chokes you into a world where you can find your wing and spread them wider then your dreams.
Let’s get drunk on the mystery of life and the taste of someone special-
Enough with the past let’s look on to the future-
Is everything- we every wanted something so distant from the truth of reality-
Bits hard on those naive enough to fancy life not a game to be plaid, to be had, bought and sold like a dog!
At lest dogs can run free!
You and I have become trapped in an ambiguous circumstance given the title of Society-
Is equipped with its own dos and don’ts, and the reject bin is piling high-
“Expenses” is a term we know:
We still scream “but I want it now!”
As it drags inner child out to the guillotine,
I was once a man and now I’m a slave-held captive by DEBT?
Life is the rhythm of a heart beating to the sound of a song in your head.
Let me finally go to bed,
Save tomorrow for another day job, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to live and let live. -
victimized
I could say I loved you like I wasn’t mad. I could look into those eyes like you were as innocent as the day we meet, but these things I can not do truthfully. And as you burrow into my soul, you take that hammer with you. Smashing what’s left of me like tender pink flesh and red blushing mussels surfacing to breath at last. At long last. At lest that is the last you will see me resist the grain of your nature, your vices and habit and countless apathetic attacks where you fancy your self the victim. And I, a male, could never understand the weight of an ovary, of the feminine world. Well you, princess, witch I hold dear, could never live in my world, of so called savagery, and brutality. You cry like it means… like it means I have done wrong. What IS wrong is not my good intensions, but your need to feel victimized by every male you encounter. I am not Satan in disguises, with red horns and a tail- I am a man, a mortal man who bleeds like any other man. And I too feel! I feel your selfish decisions! I can bite back just as freely as you do. But I am stronger and do know better then to hurt something as delicate as a rose and as unforgiving as ivy, who seductively drains life from its partner. I know better, but not enough to escape your poison.
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She said it!
"I care about you!" These are my words, my most garded words that mean more to me then "i love you" could ever mean. I, I, I'm free!
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I LOVE THE WORLD
I LOVE THE WORLD
(Sullivan/Heaton) 1988
The roll of distant thunder breaks, the afternoon of silence wakes
They hurry through from Petergate as if they know this dance
In fury blind, I drive at night across the moors, the open roads
Beneath the freezing starry skies, racing in some trance
These cities are illusions of some triumph over Nature's laws
We've seen the iron carcass rust and buildings topple into dust
And as the waters rise, it seems we cling to all the rootless things
The Christian lies, technology, while spirits scream and sing
Oh God I love the world
Well I never said I was a clever man but I know enough to understand
That the endless leaps and forward plans will someday have to cease
You blind yourselves with comfort lies like lightning never strikes you twice
And we laugh at your amazed surprise as the Ark begins to sink
This temple that is built so well to separate us from ourselves
Is a power grown beyond control, a will without a face
And watching from outside I wish that I could wash my hands of this
But we are locked together here, this bittersweet embrace
Oh God I love the world
And if one day the final fire explodes across the whitened sky
I know you've said you'd rather die and make it over fast
With courage from your bravest friends, waiting outside for the end
With no bitterness but an innocence that I can't seem to grasp
I know somehow I will survive - this fury just to stay alive
So drunk with sickness, weak with pain, I can walk the hills one last time
Scarred and smiling, dying slow, I'll scream to no one left at all
I told you so, I told you so, I told you so . .
Oh God I love the world
Published by Attack Attack Music/Warner Chappell Music Ltd -
What are we fighting for?
Fighting our own wars of hate
We take arms against the state.
Forever, we stand still in time,
On this bloody battle field, it’s a crime.
Mothers, children, fathers, dead
What more needs to be said?
You come with passion, you come with peace,
But the Devil prepares for a hungry feast.
Now you tell me, tell me this,
How tight do you clench your fists?
It’s not your hate, it not what you aspire,
This war craves you’re pure desire.
Destiny unfolds her hand,
Two jokers take their stand.
One’s a laughing fool in tears,
The second’s wise to fear.
For mortal man believes he’s just,
And crude to start a fuss.
Perhaps it’s not to late,
To throw away our hate.
We’ll never know until we try,
But oh, how time dose fly.
You’re a fool to say: All is fair in love and war
Have we forgotten what we were fighting for?
