Calibraxis
male - 17 years
Blog 100
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Perfect Insanity
Come inside and be afraid, of this impressive mess I’ve made. If you take a look now you will find that I have thrown away my vice, done away with paradise and seen what’s going on inside my mind. Branded like an animal! I can still feel the burn in my mind! I do believe that you’ve made your message clear! Deprivating, isolating, all that I feel, leaving me with images I know are not real. Are those words of condemnation that I hear?
I think I'm losing my mind, I think I'm losing whats mine
Come inside now I implore. Do you think you can restore, the crucial pieces missing from my brain? What seems to be the matter dear? Why do you cry and shake with fear? I’ve only had the best of me insane! I don't know how much more I can take. The secret thoughts inside me wake. I’ve lost what was within me.
Oh sweet insanity.
Now I try again to find
The thing that was my mind!
Behold the other side!
Who said I've lost my mind
I try again to find
The thing that was my mind!
Behold the other side!
Who said I've lost my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, i'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've lost!
Mind, I've lost my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've a lost my mind, I'm a losin' my mind,
I've lost my mind!
I've lost it,
I've lost it. -
A Baptismal Chant
Be Crushed.
I welcome thou who have grown old and thou who have lost.
Devote thyself to me, learn from me, and obey me.
Rest.
Do not forget song, do not forget prayer, and do not forget me.
I am light and relieve thee of thee burdens.
Do not pretend.
Retribution for forgiveness, betrayal for trust, despair for hope, darkness for light, Dark death for the living.
Relief is in my hands.
I will add oil to thy sins and leave a mark.
Eternal life is given through death.
Ask for forgiveness here. -
IT'S FUNNY...
IT'S FUNNY -- how hello is always accompanied with goodbye. IT'S FUNNY -- how good memories can start to make you cry. IT'S FUNNY -- how forever never seems to really last. IT'S FUNNY -- how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past. IT'S FUNNY -- how friends can just leave you when you`re down. IT'S FUNNY -- how when you need someone, they're never around. IT'S FUNNY -- how people change and think they're so much better. IT'S FUNNY -- how many lies can be packed in one " love letter". IT'S FUNNY -- how people can forgive even though they can't forget. IT'S FUNNY -- how one night can contain so much regret. IT'S FUNNY -- how people talk about the faith in God they have when they can't even trust themselves. IT's FUNNY -- how bullshit seems to sound correct when shit happens to you. IT'S FUNNY -- how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all.. none of that seems funny to me.
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The Politically Correct Rudolph
Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer …
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,
Original: Had a very shiny nose …
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.
Original: And if you ever saw him …
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view,
Original: You would even say it glows …
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities.
Original: All of the other reindeer …
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community,
Original: Used to laugh and call him names …
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms — the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable.
Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games …
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure activities consistent with their species.
Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve …
Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth of December in an unspecified year…
Original: Santa came to say …
Translation: A mythological, supernatural being inherent to western culture (who symbolizes the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings gifts to children) arrived through the supersaturated, humid air.
Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright …
Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary nasal characteristic.
Original: Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?
Translation: To stand at the forefront of his snow vehicle with the express purpose that he navigate through the nocturnal mist.
Original: Then all the reindeer loved him …
Translation: At that point, the multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their disposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial, amicable relationship.
Original: And they shouted out with glee …
Translation: They consequently exclaimed with great exaltation and fervour,
Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer …
Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a maroon nasal appendage,
Original: You’ll go down in history!
Translation: You shall most certainly be recorded in the annals of time, and your memory will be preserved for posterity! -
Walking, A Miracle...
Walking may be ordinary and easy...
But...
When you analyze it carefully and realize all the effort that is put into it...
Don't you think that just walking by itself is a miracle?
In fact...
Every little thing we do...
Give enough attention,
Is a miracle... -
Anger...
i gotta admit..I am a angry person..Most of the time...It's just that I don't usually show them out, for only fools show their emotions and thus giving their enemies their weakness...Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy...The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves..We hate others when we hate ourselves..We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves..We forgive others when we forgive ourselves..We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves..
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun..To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king..The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself..The skeleton at the feast is you..Personally, I would not care much..Death is just a matter of time and i fear not death..I like anger..
Anger motivates me to work harder to accomplish my goals..Anything that stands before me will be burnt down..Anyone that stands before will be cut down...
Anger...
Its like fuel for my engine, food for my burning soul...
It brings me joy to know the flames that grants me power and determination will kill me one day... -
男兒當自強
One of the few Chinese Songs that I really like and appreciate...
~ 男兒當自強 ~
傲氣面對萬重浪 熱血像那紅日光
膽似鐵打 骨如精鋼
胸襟百千丈 眼光萬里長
我發奮圖強 做好漢
做個好漢子 每天要自強
熱血男兒漢 比太陽更光
讓海天為我聚能量
去開天闢地 為我理想去闖
看碧波高壯 又看碧空廣闊浩氣楊
我是男兒當自強
昂步挺胸大家作棟樑 做好漢
用我百點熱 耀出千分光
做個好漢子 熱血熱腸熱 比太陽更光
讓海天為我聚能量
去開天闢地 為我理想去闖
看碧波高壯 又看碧空廣闊浩氣楊
我是男兒當自強
昂步挺胸大家作棟樑 做好漢
用我百點熱 耀出千分光
做個好漢子 熱血熱腸熱 比太陽更光
做個好漢子 熱血熱腸熱 比太陽更光 -
A New Year...
Its a new year isn't it...My last year isn't so bad, I hope that this coming year would be the same or better..An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves..I am definitely both..As much as i look forward to the new year, I surely missing the old one..We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day..Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right..
Here are some of my new year resolutions that I hope will be achieved:
1) To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time..I know that most of the society are made up of people that I have deemed as fools..And I know I maybe one of them in the mind of others..Though I maybe a fool, I'm definitely not just any other fool. A person who have realized that he or she is a fool has taken the first step away from the foolishness that guide our life...
2) I do not wish to find love, nor do I hope that love will seek me out..I would not allow myself to fall into the deadly trap that I have seen some of my friends has..Love is a carnivorous flower that attract and swallows its prey..One of my friends have fallen into the trap, and I not so stupid that I'll be trapped too..Love is the one thing I fear and I would not allow it to conquer me..I alone will be sufficient...
3) I want to have a GPA of 3.5 and above of my coming semesters..A fool i maybe but I believe that I'm intelligent enough to do that...
4) Hopefully Lady Luck will accompany as always.. -
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Well, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But what I got to say can't wait
I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Yeah, I know it's kind of strange
But every time I'm near you
I just run out of things to say
I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Every time the time was right
All the words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song
Yeah, I know it's kind of late
I hope I didn't wake you
But there's something that I just got to say
I know you'd understand
Every time I tried to tell you
The words just came out wrong
So I'll have to say I love you in a song -
Meaning...
Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? These are the three questions that governs most of our life. Is human life just a dream, from which we never really awake, as some great thinkers claim? Are we submerged by our feelings, by our loves and hates, by our ideas of good, bad, beautiful, awful? Are we incapable of knowing beyond those ideas and feelings?
I never understood the reason behind the people who chase after their dreams their entire life. Dreams are something that happens only in our head, when we sleep, when we daydream. If there is something I want, there is something I need, I'll call it a "Future", rather than a "Dream". Dreams are afterall hollow, and those who chase after them are fools beyond comprehension. Future and possibilities are things that I believe in. I believe in pain and suffering. I believe that they bring the best out of people. Those who rises above Hell are true people whom I respect. And to those who does not make it, Well, that's too bad. Life is after "Survival of the fittest" No doubt, in my mind, I'm one of the best. Yes, I have a huge ego.
Love gives meaning to our lives – as do friendship. But then again there are always people like me who never understood love, feelings. Are these factors of true happiness, of inner peace, of feelings of harmony, that allows meaning to our existence?However, there is the other side. There is the cruelty of life, the pain, the evil, not to talk of death. They are the hidden tigers, ambushed and ready to attack the imprudent.Is between these pendulums - the positive, the one that gives happiness and meaning, and the negative - that our lives are lived. And when we meditate about all that, we arrive at a diverse and disagreeing set of thoughts about the meaning and purpose of life.
Ethics cannot be based upon our obligations toward people, but they are complete and natural only when we feel this Reverence for Life and the desire to have compassion for and to help all creatures insofar as it is in our power. I think that this ethic will become more and more recognized because of its great naturalness and because it is the foundation of a true humanism toward which we must strive if our culture is to become truly ethical. Ethics, too, are nothing but reverence for life. This is what gives me the fundamental principle of morality, namely, that good consists in maintaining, promoting, and enhancing life, and that destroying, injuring, and limiting life are evil.
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
That's my meaning...
Meaning...
The meaning of Meaning...
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